


We're chained up together

by Criminal_Master_Mine



Series: Interwoven [1]
Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author loves to chat in the Comments, Chained up era, Dynamite era, Eventual Smut, Hair-pulling, Jealousy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oblivious, Platonic Relationships, Slow Burn, Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing, The author doesn't know what she's doing, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-11-11 09:43:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 59,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11145867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criminal_Master_Mine/pseuds/Criminal_Master_Mine
Summary: Of how Leo survived the 'Chained up' era.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I started to write this fic not to be bored during the moving. It escalated quickly.
> 
> I really appreciate comments ^-^
> 
> This is my first ever fanfic, don't expect much~
> 
> Edit 09/17: go send some love to my eonni Po, who drew this gorgeous fanart ♥  
> [Fanart inspired by 'Chained up together'](http://polyx.tumblr.com/post/165310269513/for-criminalmastermine-and-her-awsome-wontaek-fic)  
> 

He padded barefoot, hand feeling its way in the complete darkness, until he felt the cold floor under his feet. Soft light shone inside the kitchen, illuminating a huge pile of unwashed dishes.

He opened the door that lead to the balcony and the cold winter wind greeted him, getting his damp and messy hair ruffed, but he didn't care. He felt the sharp bite of cold on his sweaty skin but it felt heavenly, cooling him down as his breathing became less erratic.

He couldn't see the moon from there, but it was a clear night and he could imagine the imperfect orb shining bright up there, the city's lights hiding the millions of stars he wished he could see. Instead, he could only see pitch blackness, a halo of light around his vision from the artificial light that seemed to reach even this floor, the city lights illuminating all in front of him.

“Hyung?” Came a sleepy whisper from behind him.

He turned to see his friend and fellow member rub his eyes from the kitchen door, hair sticking up in every direction, pajama pants riding up higher on one leg. He watched him get a random mug and sniff it, then pouring some water into it.

He didn't answer, opting for looking out once again, letting a sigh abandon his lips as he looked back at the empty sky, starting to notice the chill and making him shiver.

“Hakyeon hyung will scold us all if the heat leaves. It's pretty late.”

He didn't try to convince him and, after a minute of silence as his single answer, he retreated back to his room and to bed, leaving him alone staring silently at the same scenery.

He let a second sigh out, this one trembling as it made its way out. Very slowly he pat his chest while letting another shaky breath out, but all his fingers encountered was a still slightly damp and cold cotton t-shirt. He stared down at it, finding nothing but familiar material. He thought it could have been from another member, but at this point he could barely tell apart what was his and what theirs, too used to sharing.

With a last sigh he stepped in and closed the door leading outside. He felt the warm temperature try to warm his skin again but he didn't pay attention as he walked back into the room he shared and slipped under the covers. He took the headphones and pressed the ‘play’ button on his phone. Sleep came soon and he let himself be dragged into unconsciousness.

His mouth felt sandpapery in the morning, his throat was sore and his body ached in protest, but he got up and headed to the kitchen.

“Hyung,” greeted everyone while they pushed cereal into their mouths.

He nodded vaguely, feeling half dead and in need of some caffeine. Soon enough the smell of coffee filled the whole house with it's heavenly smell. He went to brush his teeth to get rid of that awful taste while the coffee machine kept gurgling and came just in time to slap the sly hands that tried to steal his precious coffee.

He admitted normal homemade coffee was never going to compare to the latte he could buy on a coffee shop, but he needed something to get his body working this soon in the morning, and even the bitter dark poison was welcomed.

He sat on a chair while the other four fought over the remaining coffee, not really listening to the antics and mainly filtering the conversations. He might have registered something about Hakyeon going to buy milk at some point and was still half dozing off over his mug when he heard the door open and close, familiar footsteps getting closer.

He was not in the mood for his leader’s over enthusiastic show of affection –honestly, he never was– but today particularly was not an option. He stood and left his now empty mug somewhere by the sink and run out of the room just as N came in.

“Good morning, Leo,” said Hakyeon, but he was already closing the bathroom's door with barely a grunt in acknowledge. “He woke up grumpy,“ he heard him tell them with a note of humour behind.

All he could think of was a scalding hot shower relaxing his aching muscles. He knew the group didn't have an official schedule to follow this week, but it would be nice to show up on today's casual meeting with Starlight.

Taekwoon loved Starlight. One could say his love for them was comparable to his love for animals, babies and coffee. Some days he doubted he could love anything more than coffee… but he loved them. He had been trying to relax more often when it came to fansigns or public appearances, but being the center of attention still made him uncomfortable. He still felt like hiding every time a camera focused on him or a fan told him he was handsome. He sometimes wondered how had he decided to join the industry, but then he remembered how proud he felt when Starlight had made possible their first win and how much he enjoyed making music.

He was toweling his hair dry when the knock came and without waiting for a response the door opened wide revealing Ravi’s hair first and then that goofy smile of his.

“Hyung, we need to get ready too!”

He started stripping right in front of him, door now closed again. First the t-shirt, revealing the abs he had worked so hard for, followed by the remaining clothes. He jumped in the shower, clothes scattered around without a care and started whistling a melody he knew he had been working long for, ignoring sleep and spending nights on his studio.

Taekwoon merely blinked, used to everyone's impatience. He was untangling the mess on top of his head when Ravi opened the curtain and asked him for the towel, apparently having finished already.

He looked around for the towel but there was none to be seen, yet he didn't feel like talking. He sometimes had days when communication wasn't really a priority… or a necessity at all. He could already see the other's mouth open to nag him with a “hyuuuuung” and decided snapping something would be better than listening to a 22 year old act worse than his baby nephew.

“You didn't bring one,” he said, voice rough from misuse, but still soft.

“Gimme yours,” answered the younger, hand open and waiting impatiently for his hyung’s caffeine to start kicking.

Ravi saw a look cross Leo’s face at the order but he didn't think much of it once he got passed the slightly damp towel. The moment he had opened the curtain again, Leo was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't a big event. There were about three dozen girls and maybe some boy waiting to chat with VIXX, faces showing a variation of emotions, with nervousness and happiness being the most noticeable.

Leo was sitting between Hyuk and Ken and both were already throwing mischievous looks at each other, planning something to try to annoy or make him laugh. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Silence fell amongst the group and finally N rose, the other five following. They shortly presented themselves and sat again, waiting for the first fans to arrive.

The first to greet was Ken, who sat to his left. Big smile plastered on his face he started to wink and hold the poor girl's hand, who was three seconds away from fainting. Leo could relate, he could remember when he was still a trainee and saw all those artists he had admired waving at the scrawny teen he used to be, his shy self wondering if to wave back or dig a hole and die.

He felt an elbow on his ribs. He looked at Ken, who frowned at him, and then to the fan looking at him like a deer caught in lights. He blushed and apologised, which made them both feel more flustered. She was really sweet and blushed every time she said something.

It was halfway through it when he started to feel sick. They were standing and playing a game and he had been trying to score when dizziness hit him and he missed.

That little devil, Hyuk, kept laughing at him along with the other kids, fans were divided between those who cheered for their favourites and those who regretted the fail. He couldn't bring himself to care. He sat on the table while Hongbin ran away from Hakyeon, keeping fan’s eyes on them. He suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder and instinctively he curled himself against the warmness, eyes closed and breathing slowly to feel better. 

The chest he was reclining on was hard under his head, but also soft and just as warm as the hand still laying on his shoulder. He didn't need to open his eyes to know it was Ravi, he would recognise the rapper anywhere. There was a soft and sweet smell always coming from him, and he could also feel the abs product of the amount of exercise against his cheek.

The other pushed his long fingers into his hair and rubbed his scalp. His hair had grown longer after LR promotions but he had felt too lazy to get it cut, yet he still shuddered at the idea of letting his hair grow as much as he had had to for Hyde, the members still reminded him about the struggles he had to go through to dry it.

“Daeguni?” Came the leader's voice suddenly.

He opened his eyes to find Hakyeon’s face right in front of his and all the cameras focused on him. He tried to stand up, only to sit again, reclining against Ravi once again.

“Leo, are you alright?” asked their manager, who had gotten closer at the scene.

“Dizzy”, he mumbled, eyes closed against the bright fluorescents.

“Can you stand up?” someone asked, but at this point he could only make abortive sounds, a pounding headache torturing him.

He felt an arm under his own push him up, hand abandoning his hair and warmness gone, but he didn't have strength in his voice to protest. He could feel sleep dragging him and next thing was darkness.

***

“Taekwoon!” Was the first thing he heard when he opened his eyes.

Leo blinked his eyes sleepily to Hakyeon’s face. There were wrinkles on his friend's forehead and dark bags under his eyes but he smiled at him when he saw him awake.

“Taekwoon, are you feeling alright?” asked their manager, worried still.

He nodded slowly, as if to test his headache. He then noticed the unfamiliar place they were in. White walls and white sheets. It didn't take a genius to realise he was at some sort of hospital.

“You lost consciousness and had us all worried! Are you okay now?”

Before he had the opportunity to answer a doctor came in. He greeted everyone and headed his way, checking his eyes and asking standard questions until he was satisfied.

“It seems it was a fall on your blood pressure. Have you drunk any alcohol lately? Eaten something sweet…?” Leo mumbled a no. “Did you have something for lunch?”

“I just had some coffee,” he said.

“A single cup? Nothing to eat?”

“He had three and then some chips, the ones that taste like…”

“Three cups?” Asked the doctor surprised, cutting N’s happy chat. “Is this a regular habit of yours?” He nodded. “A high intake of caffeine is not recommended. You might have been experiencing headaches and some dizziness if you have been abusing of it for a while now.” He wrote something on his paper. “I can't make you quit it, but it would be commendable to reduce the intake to a single cup of it. Two at absolute most.”

He was released with orders to be back in a week to talk about how he felt after having consumed less coffee and to get checked again. He was already fearing the week to come.

When they arrived at the dorm everyone was already waiting for them and asking if their hyung was alright, but he just headed to the bedroom and closed the door behind himself. Hakyeon and their manager took their shoes off and told everyone to head to the living room. Everyone sat on the floor waiting for the news a little worried.

“Our Daeguni was told not to drink more coffee and he got a little grumpy.” Sugarcoated the leader. “Apparently the obsession has gone too far and it was messing with his pressure and giving him headaches.”

“Leo-hyung not drinking coffee?” Exaggerated Hyuk.

Everyone sent him a murderous glare since walls were practically made of paper on their dorm and there was no need to rub salt on the wound. Everyone could already imagine what a nightmare was about to unleash here since, in the end, Leo was like another addict and he needed his caffeine like normal people needed oxygen.

And everyone's thoughts weren't far from reality. For the next week they had to deal with the sour mood on the apartment. They had to cancel another casual meeting, throw the old coffee machine and spend long time out of the dorm to avoid the death glares, which made Hyuk almost feel as scared of Leo as he was during the MyDol era. Almost.

The checking went better than expected, to everyone's relief. The doctor showed Leo the improvement and Leo had no other choice than to believe it was better for him. Someone had called his mother, who had called him back and threatened him to obey orders or he would not see Minyul in a long time, and being as soft as Leo was towards his baby nephew he had had to accept his fate. And so he had gone with Ken to buy decaffeinated coffee –which he hated– that same morning. The members had rescued the coffee machine he thought he had lost in the battle and he sat on the sofa drinking the most boring cup he had ever drank in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

Leo sat reading a manhwa he had stolen from Hyuk and drinking that disgusting beverage. It was raining outside and autumn was getting closer, temperature hopefully starting to go down, although on Seoul mostly there were two seasons separated by a couple of changing weeks in between them. He knew he should be packing things, since the whole VIXX were moving to a new apartment where, hopefully, they would enjoy of single rooms for everyone, but all the members were out finishing their schedules or just out with their families so he was lazily resting.

The character of the story was about to start fighting against the gang when the door of the apartment flew open and Ravi entered the room like a maniac. Leo raised his eyes towards his younger member and raised an eyebrow. When Ravi saw him a huge grin grew on his face.

“Leo-hyung!” he screamed. “Good you're here. I need to show this to you and your opinion” Leo just raised his eyebrow again. “The composition. The one that was giving me a headache. THE composition! Obviously it still needs to be approved, but I think this could be a new track. I need an unbiased opinion, here listen.”

Leo would have laughed at the “unbiased opinion” comment, since most of the songs Ravi had shown him were great to him, but it was true that among all the members he probably would be the first one to roast one of his pieces if he thought it wasn't the best. Instead he got shoved some headphones and Ravi was already looking on his phone for it.

The music started to play out of nowhere, without a warning, and startled Leo. But he kept silent and listened to it until he finished. Then he stole the phone from an anxious looking Ravi and replayed it.

“Mmh…” said Leo once he had finished, still staring at the phone.

“What does that even mean? Was it good, was it bad? You replayed it, that must be good. Unless you replayed it because it didn't convince you the first time.”

“It's… different,” said Leo finally.

“Different.”

“It's good.” He could already see his mouth open to ask. “Not your best song, I much prefer other styles. I think the composition might seem a little chaotic at first, many ups and downs but, after having listened to it, the chorus seems catchy enough, it even has a pop style that will attract most of the fans. Does it have lyrics already?”

Ravi would have been surprised a year ago that Leo had said all of this without pausing, but LR did things to them. Ravi had always understood Leo to some extent. He himself was shy and felt like hiding during some interviews, but contrary to popular belief Leo was actually one of the most caring members of VIXX. He was always there for his dongsaengs and helped N with their “adult” conversations. He might not speak much but he listened and helped silently with small actions. 

Ravi knew he could always count on Leo to listen to his most eccentric compositions and would get a honest opinion, he had one of the best ears to find mistakes on melodies and had offered to lend a hand more than once to help rewrite them. He had been wondering how their subunit hadn't happened before, but they finally had the opportunity when the other members were busy with their own schedules. He had listened to Leo's compositions, he had seen a part of him that had been ignored for a while and that made him respect him even more.

“Wonsik…?” called Leo with his soft voice.

“Oh? Oh, yeah. It has lyrics. They still need to be checked again but I wrote them based on an idea I had a while ago.”

Ravi passed the paper where he had written some parts of the lyrics. If he was being honest, he had written the parts he liked the best at the moment and the ones he thought would fit Leo the best. Not that anyone really needed to know that anyway.

Leo took the paper from Ravi's hand and unfolded it. There, written in Ravi's messy handwriting were a couple of verses. He knew that couldn't be the whole song so he started to read.

'I put my hands up, freeze. Armor down.  
It's fine even if you coldly cast me away, I can't leave you.  
No matter what I do I won't be able to leave you.  
You're my prison and my paradise.'

Leo hadn't even finished reading but he was already frowning. The short lines gave him the feeling the lyrics had been heavily edited into this piece of paper and it made him suspicious. Why would Ravi edit it and show it to him instead of showing the whole song?

“What are you hiding?” He asked coldly.

“Nothing,” answered Ravi too fast.

The older could see two very different emotions on his friend's face. First there was surprise, as if he genuinely wondered why he asked such a question, but the other was guilt. That and that quick answer told him that “nothing” was probably a big deal, and he probably wouldn't like it. He just raised his eyebrow again at him, this time staring at him with his characteristic stare.

Fortunately for Ravi the door opened and Hongbin entered to save him from having to explain the concept to his shy and violent hyung –although Leo could he as violent as a kitty and everyone knew it. Mostly his violence ended with himself on the floor and other five members over him–. Leo just blinked from that prolonged stare and headed soundlessly to the kitchen, barely welcoming Hongbin.

“The caffeine again?” Hongbin murmured once he was close to Ravi.

Ravi looked at him and didn't deny it. He would wait to show the idea to their CEO and, maybe then, he would risk the possible murder that would happen on the dorm, with him being the only victim. With an awkward laugh he pat his friend on the shoulder and headed back to his studio to record a simple version of how it would sound for their CEO to consider.

***

Ken had been cooking some ramen for everyone while the tired members already home laid themselves on the floor and groaned different things in a creepy conversation. He was taking four plates out when Leo and Ravi finally entered the apartment.

N, who had moments ago been a dead body on the floor groaning about not feeling his legs, jumped and had already an arm around the newcomers’ shoulders, neither of which looked very happy about the love their leader loved to share with members.

“Daeguni, Shikkie!” Said N enthusiastically. “How did the meet and greet go?”

Leo untangled himself from their octopus-like leader and nagged Hyuk while passing. Hyuk hugged his leg and threw him to the floor. Ravi moved N towards the sofa and they collapsed there.

“A fan proposed to Leo-hyung,” Ravi said.

This piece of information picked everyone's curiosity. Ken, who had been busy taking another two plates appeared on the living room and stared with his mouth open, Hongbin nearly cracked his neck when he turned to look at them from his position close to the balcony, eyes comically huge. Hyuk stopped wrestling with Leo on the floor and smiled like a demon.

“Oh my god! Taekwoon! How could you not tell us sooner?” Screamed their leader, not caring he had husrt gotten home. Not that he would have shared it personally. “Was it hot?”

Everyone groaned at the eldest’s phrase, remembering that one hidden camera on Ken’s birthday. Leo just wanted to kick Ravi. As a matter of fact, he threw a kick on his general direction, and when that didn't work, he raised and neck chopped him.

“Yeah, Leo-hyung, was it hot?”

“Was she hot?” Asked Ken, receiving a general stare and another neck chopping from Leo, who was feeling uncomfortable on his own skin.

“It was good. Interesting. We will let you find the fancams for it, though,” winked Ravi. “I'm starving. Is that ramen?”

With that everyone turned their attention towards food and conversation on safer grounds, but Leo exchanged some looks with Ravi during dinner that everyone saw but no one commented on.

But comments eventually came. 

Trust their leader not to nose around YouTube looking for VIXX and not to find about a dozen fancams from all angles of Leo crawling his way towards the underground and digging his own grave during the meeting.

N was amused, surprised and angry at the same time and wasted no time on sending the link on their group chat. By the time Leo came back from saving his sister taking care of his nephew for a couple of hours everyone was sat around the living room looking expectantly at him.

Leo had been with Minyul, and taking care of a baby took all your time, so he hadn't picked his phone except to take pictures of the two of them. His sister had told him not to expose his son to the world, but Leo really thought it was a sin to hide such a cute baby from everyone. He was that proud of that kid.

That's why when he came back to the apartment and saw everyone looking at him, he was confused. He looked down to check there was no baby snort anywhere in sight and then licked his lips and flicked his bangs, the ones he had gotten cut a short while ago, his hair now lighter as well.

“It was hot,” broke the silence Ken.

Those words echoed on the room. His eyes flew towards Ravi, who was half hiding, to N who looked amused, to the rest of his members who looked completely shaken.

“Have you eaten?” He asked while he run discreetly from the whole conversation.

“Taekwoon,” called N.

Leo turned and took the chair that had been strategically placed in front of them, confronting their stares with one of his own. He crossed his legs and put his hands over the knee, flicking his hair once again impatiently.

Someone took their phone out and put a video on. He could hear the fans chatting, but he was actually looking at himself on the video. His hair was still longer and black on the video and he was wearing a black shirt, chatting with a girl while he signed her album, then holding her hand and making some sort of smile and passing the album to Ravi to sign it.

Suddenly a male fan appeared. Everything looked normal, he passed the album and Leo opened it. Leo raised his head and smiled awkwardly, asked something to the boy. Went back to signing and kept the chat. It kept like this for about ten seconds before the boy looked inside his pocked and Leo suddenly raised his head brusquely.

The scene that kept playing was still confusing on his mind, and when he watched it on the phone he was surprised at it. He remembered the awkwardness, the surprise, the shyness and embarrassment. He remembered Ravi's voice, the guards asking him to leave, the boys pleading… Instead, the phone showed the boy presenting a small box to Leo, opening it and showing the ring on it. Leo looked clearly surprised and a little flustered, but mostly composed. He turned Ravi's direction, eyes still on the ring. Then Ravi entered in action. He looked at the ring, then the fan and lastly, at Leo's face. He could see him crack a smirk and talk with the boy, who frowned and looked at Leo. More chat and Ravi's arm going around Leo's shoulder, the younger’s hand wandering towards Leo’s pierced ear, drawing the contour of it with his thumb, smirk still plastered and talking to the boy while Leo kept blank.

Leo stole a glance at Ravi's direction now and saw him blush softly, smiling sympathetically at his surprised self. The rest of the members looked at him with questioning eyes, the phone having already disappeared.

“What?” He opted to ask.

“Was that ring real?” Asked Hongbin.

“Was he really confessing?” Chose to ask their youngest.

Leo looked at their expectant stares. He felt like walking away, avoiding the situation, but decided to answer a couple of questions. In the end he wanted to avoid it as much as possible.

“Yes. And yes. It was a nice ring,” he said looking at Ken, who closed his mouth after hearing it. “It was shocking, neither of us expected it. We talked to him and he was escorted out soon after it, no one called to ask about it and we agreed on not saying anything.” At Ravi's protest, he added: “It went unsaid, but it was logic. Can we end the interrogation already? I'm starving.”

He didn't wait for anyone to agree with him. He stood, took the chair and bought it to the kitchen. He ignored the other members’ looks while he cooked his famous pasta dish and ate in silence, listening now and then to the stories the others told.

By the end of the day it was almost forgotten.


	4. Chapter 4

Ravi bit his nails again and slapped his own hand when he realised what he had been doing. He took a deep breath, and when that failed he took another one.

He looked down towards the phone he held on his hands, wondering how to break the news to everyone without getting murdered and failed as well.

He much would have preferred if their CEO had called them to notificate them, and over that, to explain the concept. The concept scared him. The member's reaction towards the concept scared him. Yeah, he was pretty screwed.

Finally he opened the door. He had known everyone was at home, he made sure to check with everyone today's schedule, so he wasn't surprised when he found everyone playing videogames on the living room, N checking how everyone did and spoiling them every once in a while when he took his eyes off the book he was reading. He got a vague greeting and he made his way towards the sofa, sitting by Ken.

He watched them play for a while and when they finally offered him the console he refused and called them.

At his tone everyone rushed to mute the game and sat closer to listen to what the rapper had to say. They could see a nervous tick on him and that gave away the importance of the matter.

“Since our schedules are mostly finished and I finished working on some of the melodies a while ago, it's about time we make a comeback,” started Ravi.

“Yes! I missed the fans so much,” said Hyuk excitedly.

“I didn't know you had finished working on your music, Ravi,” said Hongbin. “But I haven't really been much around lately. Recording was tough, I'm on for some change and some practicing, I haven't been exercising lately.”

“Yeah, about that…” continued Ravi. “I showed Leo hyung a couple of weeks ago the base for a new song.” Leo was looking at him with that suspicious look he had the day Ravi had shown him the track. “And when I talked to CEO-nim he thought the idea was too meaty.”

Ravi looked at them expectantly, thinking “let them figure it out”. He could see their brains working his words, but it was N who broke the silence.

“What are you trying to say, Shikkie?”

“That one track who I thought would be denied is now apparently our title track. And the new concept,” he said quickly, biting his lip.

“Oh! And what is it about? Are we gonna be ghosts or samurais? We made a bright concept not too long ago,” pouted Ken.

“I'm sure is not as cool as galactic vampires,” smirked Hyuk.

“It'saboutloveslaves”, said Ravi between the confusion.

Everyone stopped arguing what their new concept should be and stared at him. The surprise on their faces would have been amusing if not for the dark look that was irradiating from a certain member he was trying hard to avoid contact with.

“Was was that again,” someone asked dumbfounded.

“Love… Slaves,” coughed awkwardly Ravi.

For the first time in almost a month Ravi thought the idea was really stupid and regretted ever explaining the concept to their CEO.

Ravi had been objectively thinking what would Starlight enjoy watching next time they stepped on a stage. He had seen something during LR era with Leo that had caught his attention and had talked to the girls about the whole wardrobe when the interview had ended and Leo was too busy looking for a new coffee. The girls had been really sweet and answered all his weird questions and so, when he sat on the futon that laid on his studio one night, feeling stressed with one of the songs he had tried to compose for his future mixtape, the idea came back full force and he had tried to express the idea into rhythms and lyrics that could be sang on a stage.

It had been hard, but Ravi finally pulled something. As Leo had said, it was different. Quite different from what VIXX had tried until today, but something Ravi was sure only they could make work.

VIXX was known as concept group, and he prided himself on being on such chameleonic team, where they could go from cute robots to angels and demons to cyborg tragedies in a blink of an eye.

“What do you exactly mean with love slaves?”

Ravi looked at his members’ –his friends– faces and stared at the curious looks. Curiosity was good, wasn't it? Way better than getting screamed at for being a pervert.

“I mean as in a relationship that's bad for one but you can't quit.”

“You should have explained that. The way you said it I thought you wanted to blindfold and chain us up and throw us in a stage to look like idiots!” Cracked Ken.

“Uh… Actually,” Ravi played with his hands. “That's quite what I was planing. Except without looking like idiots,” he giggled nervously.

He almost felt pain at how quick heads turned his direction, eyes wide open once again and judging him. At least Hongbin and Leo were judging.

“Show us.”

And so he played the melody for everyone to listen. He could see Leo recognise the melody, although he had changed some things to suit better the style of their main vocals, and had lowered what he considered would end up being Hongbin’s and his parts.

“It doesn't sound too bad, at least. The lyrics?” asked Hyuk.

“Does this have a choreography?” Voiced N.

Ravi passed the complete, revised and approved lyrics sheet and answered N. He then waited for the lyrics to sink in.

“You are my love and my controller,” read Hyuk between giggles.

“Like a beast controlled by you,” was now Ken.

“It's bad but it's not really bad. I'm confused!” Their maknae trashed around.

“I hope you realise we will all blame you if they call us perverts, Shikkie.”

Everyone but Leo talked at the same time. But Leo… Leo sat there looking at his members find the concept funny and joke around what could people say, and the only thing he could think of was how he would survive this comeback. How would he play it cool acting like a slave. What would people say if he wore BDSM clothes and accessories in public. He was already imagining how he would embarrass himself when he felt the hand on his hair.

It was short lived, but Ravi had scratched softly his head –like one pet a cat–, in a soothing way, as if apologising for this. Ravi was shy as well, so why would he come up with this demented idea?

He looked up and met his eyes, and something there told him it was gonna be alright. They had survived LR together. People asking them to hug in public –reenact the scene, they said– and say good things about the other. Leo being the leader of the subunit although Ravi worked things most of the time and saved Leo from speaking with some joke. They had gone through that together, the six of them would go through this craziness and would manage to make it work, for the sake of their fans. And once they had finished Leo would murder Ravi.

But until then, they were chained up together. Leo laughed at his own mental joke and met Ravi again, raising and bumping his friend. And Ravi understood, bumped him back and joined the conversation the other four had started about the accessories they should wear and what not.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those last two chapters were quite short. I'm sorry if they're not too meaty >.<

They had finally moved to the new apartment on the highest story of the building, with access to an attic that held most of the principal floor's space and had a huge terrace.

As soon as they entered, their leader screamed he was the eldest and had rights to pick the best room in the house. No one stopped him to correct the fact that their manager was the eldest and it would be the one with the best room, letting him wander happily while the youngest awed at the spacious living room they could already imagine filling with books and games.

Leo excused himself to investigate the upper floor. As soon as he climbed the stairs he saw at the end of the corridor French glass doors leading to the terrace. He left his things on the floor and walked there, opened the doors and was greeted by the cold sunlight bathing the streets of Seoul. The terrace was deserted, surrounded by pots with dead flowers and a pile of dust everywhere. But even with such depressing surroundings, the sight was breathtaking.

They raised over most buildings and had over 180° sight of the city from there. They also had individual rooms. Leo already feared how much Jellyfish was paying for this place, and how hard they would have to work to pay them back for this.

“Daeguni!” Leo felt N’s embrace seconds after. “Everyone's down, we gonna choose rooms, let's go!”

He didn't have a choice, so he followed his enthusiastic friend down and to the living room, where everyone sat on the bare floor in a circle, space for the two of them awaiting.

“Who wants to live on the first floor?” Asked their manager.

Most hands raised, everyone too lazy to bring their boxes up. The same question, about the upper floor, was made and only Ravi’s hand raised.

“Ravi, you already raised your hand the first time!” Protested Ken.

“I don't really mind which floor it is, as long as I have a place for my stuff,” complained the rapper.

Everyone knew what he was talking about. Ravi had his own studio at Jellyfish's building, and he spent most nights there sleeping on an old futon. It came to the point where most members spent a whole week without seeing him, and when they did he just walked to the room and collapsed there for hours, just to leave again in the morning.

Their CEO had no choice but to promise to isolate a room on the new apartment so the members could check that Ravi got some proper sleep and ate something besides snacks and ramen.

Leo remembered an interview where they were asked if they were jealous of the noticeable extra money Ravi made from composing, and Leo had answered back in the days that it wasn't worth it when he saw how his friend neglected sleep and food and spent hours in that small and dark room. It had cost him some words with a couple of people about how he shouldn't say those things and make it look like they overworked their idols. He hadn't intended it that way, but in the end it was true that Ravi overworked himself and played it cool afterwards, he had the right to complain about it.

“Leo,” called N, making Leo blink back to reality. “You haven't raised your hand. Are both options okay with you?”

He nodded and saw everyone but Ravi and him play rock-paper-scissors to decide who would go up and who would stay down.

In the end Hongbin lost and was sent up, Ravi and him following the younger up, where they nearly tripped over Leo’s abandoned suitcase.

“Oh wow, look at this!”

Ravi followed Hongbin’s voice to the room by the terrace. When he entered he saw light entering the whole room from three different angles and had to close his eyes at the brightness.

“You can keep it,” said Leo's soft voice from behind him, making him jump.

He turned to him and saw his pale hand covering his eyes while looking inside the room. He didn't know if the frown was due to his notorious disgust towards the amount of light filtering in, but he suspected so.

“Is it okay with you too, Ravi?” Ravi nodded and let Hongbin explore his room.

“Wonsik,” called Leo.

Ravi was surprisingly unused to his name being called. If he was being honest, among everyone, only Leo –and usually N– called him by his real name. He understood because he himself hadn't called Hyuk by his whole name in a long time. They used to go back and forth from their stage name and real name so much they had given their own stage name even on airports.

But Leo liked their names. And it sounded so refreshing to have someone recognise him for being Wonsik, the dorky pervert kid and not Ravi, the Rapper…

“Mmh?” Mumbled in acknowledge Ravi once he reached Leo.

“Take this room,” he said and turned the other direction.

“Uh? Wait, hyung!” He grabbed his shoulder and made him turn. “Are you trying to take the best room?”

Leo looked at him, then to the hand still resting on his shoulder and back at him. He let the hand slide down the arm and to his own side and followed silently Leo towards a door by end of the corridor, behind the stairs and almost hidden. Leo opened the door and entered, Ravi dumbly following behind.

“Here,” Leo said, showing another door. “This should lead to the bedroom. I guessed you would prefer taking this room, this way you can make it your studio.” Ravi was opening the door to check the room that would be his bedroom. “I think both rooms are the same size. But you can always pick the other one, I don't really mind.”

“No!” Rushed the younger to reply. “No, this is good. It's actually really good. Thanks, Leo.” Ravi smiled one of his goofy smiles towards the shy boy, who poked his chest in an awkward move.

“Did you just drop honorifics?” He huffed and smirked with a mischief not many would show at such disrespectful act.

“Are you gonna do something about it?”

Something dark shone on his dark eyes and Ravi felt goosebumps cover his whole body at it. It was gone a second later, but the rapper couldn't shake off that feeling on his chest after it.

“We should head down and start moving things if we're done picking rooms, Ravi-ah,” said Leo before disappearing down the stairs.

Ravi stayed there in silence, eyes wandering out of the window to the bright morning sky. It was one of those days where the sky shone a bright white colour, sun bright but hidden behind thick clouds. He felt like the weather, uneasy and unpredictable. Whatever it was he had seen on his friend's eyes, that unidentifiable gesture…

A shiver run down his back and he came back in time, lost in thoughts, to hear the youngest call him down.

The moving had just started, and it would be a long week if they also had to start recording. N had said he would work hand in hand with their dance teacher to come up with something and Ravi had offered his help, since it had been his idea in the first place and had already some moves that could work in mind.

It was gonna be a long week and an even longer month, but Ravi felt like it would be worth the hard work. And so, thinking that, went down to meet the rest and start moving his stuff up to his new room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read and liked, you're all amazing!  
> Expect more chapters coming this way~


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, thanks, thanks to everyone who liked!  
> It made me so happy to see all the love!

“Hongbin, can you repeat it again?” Asked Ravi, hand pushing deep inside his hair and tugging at the strands in desperation.

They had recorded already for an hour and there was no way Hongbin could make it work. He had called Ken, but he had told him to get out since he had disliked his part even more than Hongbin’s.

Everyone was tired, some of them were even pissed –at him, at the song, the day–, and Ravi kept ordering them around, losing his patience every two seconds.

He had barely slept in the past four days, and he thought he was used to it, but he really wasn't. The isolating process had started the next day and the noise coming from inside could be heard everywhere in the apartment. It was so much, at some point everyone had gone out, anywhere, to avoid the sound that pierced all the way to the core.

During the isolating process they had also found an electricity issue they had decided to fix before finishing, and so they had started to break the walls to rebuild them once done.

The ending result was an insomniac rapper, a huge migraine on one of their main vocals and a general irritated feeling among the housemates.

“Ugh, fuck you Ravi. How many times do you expect me to sing the same line? It's a line, it won't get any better today, much less with you shouting orders around!” Exploded Hongbin.

It was quite hard to make Hongbin explode like this, so Ravi finally shut his mouth and rest his head on the chair. Everyone visibly relaxed once the guy had shut his mouth and laid against each other on the sofa, lazily resting.

“Where is Leo?” Wondered their leader, looking towards the ceiling.

“He had to go get his hair bleached,” came their manager's voice, along with the sweet aroma of coffee.

“Leo really hates having his hair bleached,’ commented Ken drinking his coffee. “I hope he isn't acting like an asshole as well.”

Ken winked at Ravi's direction and he had no option but to accept the fact he had been a jackass the whole morning. But Leo really hated having his hair bleached. Leo was such drama queen, if he burnt his tongue he would nag everyone about it until his food went cold. So when he got his scalp burnt he nagged everyone about how he was quitting the job and opening an onion farm.

Okay, maybe that last part was only on Ravi's head, but it was funny still. He couldn't imagine his ghostly pale friend cropping onion's under the sun, but it was still an entertaining idea.

With that image in mind, he actually relaxed and started working like a normal person, keeping his voice on conversation mode.

For the first time that day, Hongbin nailed it.

***

Leo wanted to die.

Better yet, Leo wanted to murder the hairstylists and then die.

He hated –hated!– getting his hair bleached. It was an almost weekly routine by now, getting his hair bleached and then dye it some nice colour. Leo could actually accept well when they bleached his hair a little bit to dye it a warmer chocolate brown or even a honey blond. He understood and he actually enjoyed those colours. But Leo hated to go blond.

When they put the burning product on his hair, and abandoned him for what felt like hours, his head burning and the smell making him gag. He hated those days. He hated this comeback. He hated Ravi. He hated everyone at Jellyfish.

He felt like shouting at the men breaking down the walls of their apartment; instead, he went down to the kitchen, blasted his music and started to cook.

He had decided to cook something healthy for the day, since the kids had been feeding themselves on ramen or take out the past week, everyone too lazy to cook a proper meal.

The agency hadn't spoken a word yet about it and he was surprised they hadn't gotten some sort of call about their diet. Not that Leo would complain, since he was already dying on the inside on a daily basis after having abandoned his coffee. Imagine abandoning cheese, rice only on mornings and no junk food.

He opened the fridge to find it was surprisingly almost empty. He sighed looking at the clock. He had messaged their manager less than a quarter of an hour ago to tell him he was joining, but he had refused saying they were going in a bit.

Honestly, a bit meant another hour if Ravi was the one checking the recording. And he most likely would be checking everything was perfect on his song. He could get a little sensitive about it.

Taking some vegetables, meat and rice he closed the fridge and got to work.

He cut the onions and tomatoes, prepared a nice sauce with it and fried the rest of the vegetables with it, cooked the meat and started to boil the rice. He missed some ingredients that could make food more interesting, but it was too late to apologise for it. He did write them on a paper tho, to remember buy them when they could.

He was frying some pasta with peppers and a couple more things when arms closed around him. He dropped the food half on his hand to avoid making it fall off the pan and hissed at the pain. Dropped everything, pushed their touchy leader away and put his hand under the running cold water, almost moaning in relief.

“I'm sorry, Daeguni, I didn't know you would burn yourself. Are you alright?” Asked apologetically N.

“Tsk.”

“Don't you ‘tsk’ me, Jung Taekwoon. Is your hand alright? Here, let me check.”

“It's alright,” replied Leo, trying to avoid another disaster. “Get the food out or it will burn.”

“Leo! Good you missed today, Ravi was being a bitch,” said freely their maknae. “Oh, what happened?”

“Get the table ready,” said Leo, already feeling claustrophobic on the stuffed kitchen. “You too!”

Once they had left the place he went back to check the damage on the food.

Some parts of it were a little bit overcooked, but they would be alright for everyone. He took the pan and brought it to the dining room.

“Food!”

Everyone sat on the table already, looking at Leo like beasts and salivating for the food. Their manager excused himself, regretting not being able to eat the meal, and disappeared, leaving the members alone.

“Appa, say something to Ravi, he was being mean before,” smirked Ken.

Leo just raised an eyebrow, more at the nickname. He had already asked them to stop calling him their ‘dad’, but it never sank. He had expected the nagging coming from them. He had also spent the past three years with their rapper and he sometimes deserved to be smacked with the hot frying pan on the mouth. But again, everyone on VIXX deserved it at least once. Even Leo himself.

“He made Hongbin scream at him,” N commented, suspiciously like a mother talked of their children.

“I didn't scream, all of you stop saying I did!”

“You told him to go fuck himself. You definitely screamed at him.”

“Did not!”

“Did so!”

“Shut up,” asked Leo, voice still soft but murderous eyes burning holes on everyone.

Everyone closed their mouths and opened them only to eat their food, chopsticks hitting the plate and young men chewing on their food.

“You will have to go tomorrow and record. Hongbin and I have recording schedules this week so we took most of the time today,” commented N, breaking the silence. “I also have to start working on the choreography. Ravi, we should meet one of those days to exchange ideas.”

“I actually have to meet with the director of the show as well. I think they're finally gonna reveal us the plot twist they had planned beforehand.”

Leo nodded at N and Hyuk, actually not minding much what they had to do, when Ken announced he might join later because he had to go do something related to the musical. Leo listened to everything distractedly, feeling mostly sleepy as he kept eating.

He still had some clothes to fold and he had to call his mother, since he hadn't called her in a while. Instead he finished his food, left the plate for whoever to clean and headed to his room, closed the door and laid in bed.

His room wasn't huge. None of the boys’ was, but they provided some privacy they had been looking for since almost the beginning. Leo loved to lay with his music and not have a member turn the lights on, trip over him, start chatting at the wee hours… It was refreshing.

But it was also somewhat lonely. He had gotten used to having someone close by sleeping and kinda missed a warm body around. The room had a bed as well, with enough space for two to fit a little tightly. He had also gotten used to sleeping on a futon, beds occasional luxuries on hotel rooms. And Leo liked beds. The soft mattresses that were so different from the firmness of futons on the floor. He was almost in heaven.

He was almost dozing off when he remembered himself he had things to do, so he picked the phone and dialed his mother.

“Taekwoon,” said his mother as soon as she picked, voice full of warmness. “How are you doing, honey?”

Leo was such a mom’s kid. His father didn't spend much time at home and he was raised by his mother and his older sisters. He could always count on her for everything, and him, being the youngest and the only boy at home, was spoiled like no one.

That didn't mean Leo hadn't helped his family. He had studied hard, he had succeeded in football, he helped at home with domestic stuff, he learnt how to cook for everyone delicious meals… When he had announced his desire to join a music entertainment agency his parents hadn't been surprised, and had even supported him. He still remembered calling his family three years ago and announcing he was finally debuting, promising to give them back all they had given him.

“We're starting to work on the comeback already and… well, it was Wonsik’s idea, so expect the worst,” Leo said, smile on his face.

“Oh, it's been awhile since I talked to Wonsik. I hope all your friend's are alright as well. You should definitely give me your direction so I can bake some tasty food for you. Does Hyuk still have a sweet tooth?”

Leo smiled softly and answered all the questions sent his way. He promised to go visit them before promotions started and said goodbye.

It was almost another hour until he heard the workers come up and return to work, his head hurting already. He spent the next half an hour cleaning the room until a collapsing sound came from the other side of the corridor, followed by a yelp.

He rushed out of his room and opened Ravi’s door without knocking.

There, on the floor, Ravi was holding his arm while trying to protect himself. The noise stopped and from the hole on the wall appeared a worker.

“Is everyone alright?” Asked the man worried.

“Yes,” said Ravi, standing up and checking his bleeding arm. “I was just grazed by one of the flying pieces. I'm fine.” He looked down and covered the wound with his hand again. “Leo hyung, are you alright? What are you doing here?”

“I heard you scream. What happened?”

“Oh, right, sorry!” Apologised the man, vowing. “It seems the wall was a little weak on this part. We weren't expecting it, so it collapsed when we tried to push it a little bit. It should be alright now, we will still check in case, we suggest you evacuate the room until we check everything is stable.”

The man disappeared once again through the hole in the wall and could be heard giving orders to the men inside. Leo blinked at the space he was standing on a moment ago and then towards Ravi.

“Come with me,” he said, clasping the man from the uninjured arm’s wrist and taking him out towards the bathroom.

He pushed the younger to sit on the toilet while he searched inside a box for some gauzes to clean the wound. The bathroom hadn't been touched except to take the shampoo and soap out and had everything stuffed inside the tiny box. Leo finally found what he needed and turned to Ravi.

He started cleaning the wound to asses the damage. He found an actual small wound under it, still quite deep, reason why it bled that much. He put some antiseptic and a thick gauze and started to tie it together.

Ravi didn't say a thing while he got treated, looking between Leo's concentrated face and his agile fingers. He let himself relax as the pain was contained between the gauze and the compressor force on his biceps.

“You're not sleeping there. Who knows if those walls will stay up and won't fall again while you're sleeping and crack open your head.”

“I don't think it should fall. They're probably taking care of it right now, hyung,” laughed Ravi.

Leo just sent him a glare that wasn't even scary anymore. Ravi had seen the scared look on his face when he saw the blood pour between his fingers. He really knew Leo cared, but it was on those times when he noticed just how much he did.

“Leo hyung~” Ravi and Leo turned to see Hyuk on the bathroom's door, holding his hand on his leg. “I was gonna play a prank on Ravi but I got cut,” pouted him.

“You,” said Leo pointing at Ravi. “Go anywhere but your room. And you,” said, this time looking at Hyuk. “Sit where Ravi was and let me have a look.”

Leo ended cleaning Hyuk’s knee and putting some Bandaids over the tiny cut.

“Thanks hyung!”

“Did you buy the bands?” Asked Leo with a questionable look, looking at the Shin Chan’s bandies.

“Nope,” laughed Hyuk. “It was N hyung.” Hyuk left singing the familiar melody.

Leo almost face-palmed at his members’ logic, but he put the remaining bands on their box and started to unpack the box in the bathroom since he was already there and he doubted Hongbin or Ravi would unpack it.

He sighed thinking where would he put Ravi to sleep, since he was definitely not sleeping on his room. He would also tell Hyuk, whose room was right under the studio, to room with one of the boys. In the end, they had shared rooms for three years, no one would complain for a single week more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will upgrade the story to M rating!


	7. Chapter 7

“Hongbin! Hongbin! Let me sleep with you!”

“Why? You already have a place,” sing sang Hongbin.

Leo had just finished his shower and was drying himself in the bathroom when Hyuk’s voice drifted from outside the room, to which Hongbin’s joined.

“Hongbin, I won't ever save you again from N hyung’s hugs, you bastard. I will break Leo hyung’s piano and blame you. I will throw cola on Ravi’s laptop and watch as he tortures you. You! Unloyal friend!” Screamed Hyuk with his high pitched screams. “How can you…?”

“Hyokkie~,” came N’s voice from somewhere on the apartment. “Come sleep with eomma~.”

“Ugh, save me please, I'm too young for his lewd persona!”

“Hyuk, I think N hyung was calling you,” said Ravi mischievously.

“Ugh! Not you too, Ravi. Change places with me! I will sleep with Daeguni! At least he avoids me, he doesn't touch my innocent body in his sleep. Can you see the shivers? You can be weird with N hyung!”

“Ah~,” said Ravi, opening the bathroom's door. Where Leo was. Naked but for a towel. Exposed at the maknae line. “But I only want to be weird with Leo hyung~.”

The door closed, Ravi still smirking at the two youngest. He snickered until he turned and saw, for the first time, Leo. His eyes lingered on his chest maybe a little longer than they should have, and traveled appreciatively all the way to Leo’s toes.

“Get out,” said Leo.

“Hyung has been exercising,” said praisingly Ravi, getting even closer. “Maybe you should follow a routine until the performances finish. I had in mind some low neck jackets for the dance parts, they will look good on you.” Ravi poked Leo's chest with his index, as to test the firmness of the muscle below. “I don't really think we need abs for this comeback. I wanted something less revealing. Not that you would have problems to make them appear in such a short time, I see you have kept up some of the works. It's a really nice base.”

Ravi talked like their doctor talked about their weight changes, but one thing was notoriously different. He could not recall the doctor ever touching, prodding and almost caressing his body like Ravi was. Lost in thought, his eyes were looking but not seeing, he was most likely calculating the amount of push-ups Leo would have to make to have abs in a month time, approximately the time they had set for their comeback.

“I'm not a cat,” Leo hissed, grabbing Ravi's hand, which had been wandering south unknowingly.

Ravi blinked, fingertips still resting under Leo’s bellybutton, Leo's hand grasping him with enough force to turn his knuckles white. He looked up, half confused, and saw colour on the oldest cheeks, who was frowning almost in confusion as well.

“Oh, sorry. Was wandering,” Ravi laughed awkwardly, blushing a little bit.

Leo, who claimed not to be a cat, huffed like one and turned away from him, closing the door behind him.

Ravi could listen to the vocalist's steps leading him towards his room. A room they would be sharing since his own room was almost inhabitable at the moment.

After Leo was finished with Hyuk's wound he had gone down to the living room and had called everyone. He had sat with them and told them they were gonna have to “suck it” and share a room. His words, not Ravi's. Maybe the “suck it” part had come after Hyuk had said he was perfectly fine on his room and wasn't sleeping with some other noisy member. And maybe the mood that day hadn't been the best. But at Leo's look everyone shut their mouths and nodded in agreement. Leo would complain as much as he wanted about the mom/dad nicknames, but when he entered full mother hen mode everyone shut up and did as he pleased, all forgotten that everyone played around with him in public –and, yeah, even behind closed doors –.

And so N has offered his bed to their maknae, Hyuk, and Leo had shrugged and said he didn't mind having someone else around for a while. Hyuk had spent the whole afternoon running away from N, who was “trying to give love to my cute Hyokkie” as he had phrased it, while the rest of the members watched in amusement as Hyuk pleaded with everything he had.

Ravi sighed, steam from his own shower still pouring from his body, and knocked on Leo’s room.

He hadn't been there since they’d moved in, when he peaked inside to check if Leo was cheating when he offered the other room to Ravi. When he opened the door though, the room seemed much smaller and incredibly warm.

Where everyone, Ravi himself, would think Leo's room would be dark and cold, like his outside, the reality was quite the opposite.

The room was clean and quite tidy, things on their place or hidden on the closet. There was a huge space in the middle of the room, books and albums on the walls, products for the body and face piled together on a basket. On a corner, the lonely mattress was covered in thick blankets. 

The tiny mattress.

“Isn't the bed too small?” He blurted.

Leo, who was reading a book sitting on said mattress, raised his eyes towards Ravi. He shrugged and went back to his book, apparently too engrossed to pay attention to his new roommate’s nonsensical worries.

Ravi stood there looking everywhere, touching papers here and there and checking some of the authors of the books. He was smiling at a baby picture of Leo he had found on an album when said actual grown up called him.

“Aren't you going to come? It's late.”

He looked up to watch him cover himself with the blankets, lying on what, he had found out long time ago, was his side of the bed. He looked at Ravi with an eyebrow raising.

Sighing Ravi put the album down and walked to the bed, looked at the narrow space and shrugged.

He pushed the blankets up and slid between them, leg bumping with Leo's. To fit better he turned on his side, although he much preferred laying on his back, and turned the lights off.

In the silence he could listen to his own breathing, the faint sound of cars driving by and his own heartbeat on his ears. There was barely any sound coming from Leo's side of the bed and Ravi felt awkwardness reach his side.

They had lived in the same apartment together for a long time, but it had always been Hyuk and him on the same bedroom, the others sharing a big room and their manager enjoying the luxury of his own. There was something about sharing a room with him that made him nervous.

Ravi didn't have a clock to check the hour on, but it might have been twenty minutes when he felt Leo turn on the bed, the sudden warm breath on his neck raising the hair on his nape.

In. Out. In. Out.

He was definitely asleep, breathing even and body lax against his.

With a sigh of who's too used to sleepless nights, Ravi closed his eyes, tucked himself tighter and counted his own heartbeat.

***

Leo was dreaming.

He dreamt he was laying on his bed, warmness surrounding him, calming heartbeats under his head, someone rubbing his scalp in soothing circular motions.

He sighed in pleasure and moved, knee bumping against a solid body. A solid body who yelped and tugged at the strands they had been caressing.

Leo jumped away from said body and opened his eyes. In the dim light he could make out the form of Ravi, rubbing his leg, sprawled on his bed like he owned it.

“Good morning,” said with a sleepy smile, voice rough from sleep.

“What were you…?” Leo felt blood rush to his cheeks once again and cursed at it.

“No! Where are you going?” Ravi took his arm and pushed him back down towards the bed when he tried to get out of the bed. “Don't go, ‘s cold.”

He pushed Leo down with the other arm, back to his chest, and kept rubbing his head like before.

Leo was agitated, to say something. He knew their rapper was affectionate and had seen him hug his pillow a dozen times when he’d had to wake him up, but Leo wasn't a pillow. And didn't enjoy touch as much as any other member.

“We have to wake up,” he said, still trying to push the young boy away.

“Nope, it's still soon. No one's awake. We can go record later.”

Right. He had forgotten. They were gonna record today, he still had to check the other songs, even if their title track was the one he had to check the most. He had seen they were adding a couple of old songs to it, so those were fine, but the new tracks...

“Can you let me go?” Leo asked, getting nervous.

He tried to push away once again when Ravi, who hadn't stopped petting his head, took his hair and pulled hard, fingers pulling from the root.

None of them were expecting the moan that left the oldest’s mouth at the action, both freezing. Leo could feel more blood rushing towards his face and didn't want to think where the rest seemed to have gone, grateful the room was still dark enough to cover his body's reaction. Ravi still had his fingers on his friend's hair, closed tightly around the strands from surprise, making impossible for Leo to move without having his hair tugged again.

None of them moved for a whole minute, frozen as they were in the darkness of the room, the first morning lights filtering between the blinds. Finally, it was Ravi who moved. He pushed Leo's head down, once again towards his chest, eyeing cautiously his unpredictable friend, who was still too surprised to react.

Leo's head rested back over Ravi's heart, that beat faster than it did moments ago. The fingers relaxed and went back to caressing the rough ends. Only the sounds of birds could be heard on the room for a while.

“Stay,” said Ravi, and it wasn't an option.

Leo nodded, tucked his head on the warm chest and sighed, trying to relax. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Relaxing seemed impossible for him, tho, since Ravi couldn't get the memo and kept rubbing his scalp, which still tingled in pain, making Leo swallow hard each time the fingers were a little rougher than they should have.

They listened in silence as the house started to wake up, members too sleepy to be noisy, but obvious activity happening on the first floor.

At some point Leo fell back asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time the two showered, got dressed, ate breakfast and drove to Jellyfish, Ken was already there.

The other main vocal sent them a curious look but at the glare, not only Leo but also Ravi, sent his way, he closed his mouth and followed them in silence to the recording room they had been using for the past year.

“N messaged me. He told me to ask you, Ravi, when would be fine with you to meet with him to show him the moves you had told him about,” said Ken in his bright voice.

“If he has some free time this afternoon I'm free. Tell him if he goes have lunch at home we can talk about it. Now get in and try the “I love her” part.”

Ken noticed how tense his friends were and guessed the two of them had fought this morning. If Leo had started it, it probably would take a day, or even less, for the two of them to start looking at each other, if not, and had been Ravi who started it, he feared things could get awkward pretty fast. He had to tell the rest before they played some prank on any of them and got dragged into the drama.

His recording went better than the previous day. For some reason he could notice the tension between the two guys outside, but it hadn't reached Ken yet. He honestly wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but he had a feeling it didn't mean any good.

Still on the room he could see on the outside his younger and older mates, who were clearly trying to ignore the other's presence. Leo had his earphones on and was looking at his phone, most likely checking the lyrics and the music of the other tracks. Meanwhile, Ravi was checking the lyrics and taking notes to control everything happening inside, taking notes on what he wanted them to change.

Ken had been singing for about an hour, which was unusual. Normally Leo would have entered, sang, release him for a while so he could drink and relax his vocal cords, instead he sat there, somber look on his face, listening to the music.

Sighing, after having listened to Ravi criticise almost everything he had sang, he decided he really needed a break.

“Ravi,” he called, making the younger boy look up from his notes. “I'm taking a break.”

Ken didn't wait for Ravi to agree. He pushed the doors and walked to Leo. He touched the older’s arm to call him, since he could listen to the music from this distance. He watched him jump at the soft touch, look up with a really open look on his eyes, but Ken couldn't understand why Leo looked so vulnerable.

“Are you finished?” He asked, coughing to clear his voice.

“I'm taking a break. I'm going to drink something,” Ken made a move towards the door with his head.

“It's been awhile, sorry. I was lost in thought.”

Leo pat his shoulder in an affectionate and understanding manner and pushed him towards the doors, walking to the opposite direction.

Ken watched the tense atmosphere appear again between the two as he closed the door, Leo trying his best to avoid making eye contact with Ravi. Finally, he closed the door and walked away, down, towards the first floor, where he could get some nice cold water and call their leader.

N had a good judgment. He wasn't their leader for no reason. He would be the ever nagging mom of the group, trying to embarrass them as much as possible all the time, but he could also be a serious leader. He would make his smile disappear, a frown would appear between his eyebrows and would sit down with everyone and try to solve the problem.

VIXX had a rule that every time someone was angry, they would exercise until they could have a proper conversation, and they took it too freely until they had to actually lay the floor and exercise until they were sweaty and more calmed.

Paradoxically, was their leader the one making the most push ups by the end of the day. The one to get more pissy about something. He could solve everyone's problems but his, in the end walking with Leo and telling the same age member some of his worries. In the end, Leo was the most silent one, but maybe because he didn't spend as much time as the rest joking and laughing or talking nonsense, he was precisely the one reading members the best, collecting all the data and updating their leader on every situation that seemed out of the normal. Usually concerning their other silent member.

Because Ravi was actually a pretty shy person himself, although way differently than Leo's shyness, he tended to keep many things to himself, preferring to save his worries to himself and not worry the rest. Ravi always seeked help on Leo, who would silently listen to his worries, all the way to the end, without stopping him for extra information. And ultimately give his opinion about the matter in an reasonable way.

Their leader might work for some of the details and information their most reserved members preferred to hide, and that was one of the reasons why those two were quite problematic to talk to. Not that the two tended to fight with each other regularly, but the past events were enough to make him regret ever appearing near them.

“Just my favourite ‘ajumma’ friend. How are you Jaehwanie?” Said N as soon as he picked.

“Ravi and Leo fought,” went to the point Ken.

“Oh shit…”

“Yeah…”

***

Leo wanted to run with Ken as soon as he closed the door. He was trapped with Ravi and he wasn't sure he could manage to look at him without feeling the same confusion and awkwardness he had felt during the morning.

When he had woken up, Ravi's hand still on his head, he had rushed to get it off and get out of the room, almost running to the bathroom and locking the door.

Locking the door on VIXX’s house was almost a taboo. No one did it, because everyone was used to members entering without a care. Most of the time unannounced. But Leo wasn't dealing with another bathroom door opening, not today. Even if the only member at home was Ravi. Or maybe because it was him.

Leo had been so confused. He couldn't understand yet what had happened that early morning and he was afraid to look too much into the situation.

He had taken an icy cold shower that only helped him physically and he had stayed under the water for so long he felt numb when he finally turned off the water. Ate some breakfast that Ravi joined and mostly stayed silent.

To anyone he would have been still half asleep, to anyone who knew him a little bit, it was obvious something was wrong and he expected an ambush by N when he reached home.

For now, he entered the room and put the headphones on. Through the glass came Ravi's deep voice telling him to try to sing the song once to get used to it, all professional like, which helped Leo relax, looking down at the lyrics he had to sing while the music played.

When Ravi told him to repeat again the same line for the seventh time he seriously contemplated glaring at his direction, but he kept his eyes down the whole time, avoiding confrontation of any sort.

At some point Ken came back, energy drinks and bars with him and after having eaten and drank he went back to the small room for another long session.

They had stopped, Ken recording once again and back to Leo, letting both vocalists have some rest. Leo had entered fifteen minutes ago when he saw movement out of the room. Ken was backhugging Ravi and telling something to the rapper, who laughed at it. Leo wasn't singing anymore, looking at the two as Ravi tried to slap Ken.

“If none of you is going to listen seriously, I'm leaving,” said Leo, letting the headphones down and opening the door.

The two younger men looked up surprised, not having realised Leo had stopped singing. His eyes cold as ice, he took his phone and headphones.

“Sorry,” apologised Ken.

“It's late, let's head home.” Leo didn't wait for the other two, he opened the door and got out, the other two would eventually follow.

They joined him on the elevator and headed the three to the apartment, Ken driving and telling them about the musical, filling the silence that hung in the car.

“Welcome home,” greeted N when they opened the door.

Leo looked suspiciously at the leader's smile and then looked at Ken. Ken smiled almost apologetically and Leo snorted. Of course he would tell N there was something wrong. And of course N would try to talk to them about what was bothering them. Now, if only Leo knew what was actually bothering him…

“Leo hyung, cook something, N hyung burnt the noodles!” Shouted Hyuk.

Leo just walked past the living room and threw one of the pizza place's advertisement on their direction, going out and up towards his room, ignoring the pig noises Ken made at the idea of pizza for dinner.

Only one pair of footsteps followed Leo, and he finally snapped when he opened the door, N behind him and probably about to nag him once he was out of the other's reach. Except when Leo turned it was Ravi looking at him and not N. Leo almost had a seizure then, he inhaled sharply and moved a step back automatically.

“I would prefer if you made your special pasta,” commented him, turning to his room, preferably to change into pajamas.

Leo watched him disappear on his room and finally entered his. He took his time to change his clothes, at some point hearing Ravi head down to the living room. He collapsed on his bed and looked at the ceiling. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore and he didn't feel like going down but if he didn't, N would come up and it would be way worse, so with a last sigh Leo got up and went down towards the living room.

“Daeguni! We ordered some pepperoni and barbeque pizzas,” said N, always enthusiastic.

“Mmh,” was the only thing Leo said, sitting on one of the chairs away from the sofa checking his phone.

“Taekwoon.” Leo saw N getting close and sitting next to him. “You can always tell me if something's bothering you, you know that, right?”

Leo almost felt bad for his leader. He knew he cared, but he wasn't about to say a thing to him. He couldn't possibly explain with a straight face what the hell had happened that morning.

“I know,” said Leo looking at N’s eyes, and then back at his phone, where he was playing a game.

“Taekwoonie, I'm being serious. I have noticed Ravi and you. Have you two fought? If you did you know you will have to exercise. I bet you don't want to.”

“I won't have to. Because we haven't fought. Everything's okay.”

“Leo…”

Leo had been saved by the pizza man. He got up and opened the door. Paid him and brought the pizzas to everyone, who run to the dining room sniffing the air appreciatively.

Leo rushed to take a slice before someone stole him the food, realising late he was now sitting between their insistent leader and the reason to his late problems. His little appetite disappearing completely. And so he played with the food during the whole meal, listening to Hongbin and Hyuk tell them about their recordings, N sending him looks every two minutes.

“Are you sick, Leo?” Worried Hongbin.

“No,” he answered, feeling more than seeing the look N sent to Hongbin.

“Uh, Ravi,” said Ken after awhile, when everyone was almost finished. “Maybe you would want to share a room with me?”

Leo's eyes shot up so fast it hurt, glaring at the man sitting across from him.

“Why would he?”

Leo didn't recognise his own voice when he asked Ken the question. He wasn't really planning on saying anything, but something in him snapped hard at the proposition.

Ravi was already sharing a room with Leo, why would he share a room with Ken if he already had his?

Leo frowned at himself. Everyone had stopped eating and was looking at him, eyes open at the outburst. Except Ravi. Ravi was looking at him with his eyes half closed, a similar frown as the one he guessed was showing on Leo's own face.

Leo excused himself in a low voice and headed up towards his room. He closed the door and threw himself on the bed, mentally kicking himself for the scene that had just happened. Still wondering what the heck was wrong with him.

In the end, Hyuk ate his slice.


	9. Chapter 9

Three weeks had passed since the pizza incident and many things happened during that time.

That same day, Leo woke up hugging Ravi again, his head on the other man's chest who had a hand on his hair. Fortunately no other weird situation had gone on, and the recording had gone way better.

Leo hadn't apologised to Ken for his previous night's outburst verbally, but he made sure to go grocery shopping that afternoon and cooked the main vocalist’s favourite dish. Everyone noticed, and Ken’s happy noises as he devoured his food were enough to let him know he’d been forgiven.

N had tried to talk to Leo again, but it had been a disaster. Leo had not so subtly told their leader to go mind his own business and they had ended doing push ups until N almost cried. After that, N kept an eye all the time over him but didn't pry for information.

Ravi's studio got finished, along with his room, and so there was no excuse for Ravi and him to share room, neither Hyuk to keep complaining about his leader, and some calm had fallen upon the group.

Eventually Leo and Ravi had gone back to normal, but Leo still hesitated at times around the other boy. They had made another live on the V app and he had turned away completely when Ravi had gone to pet his head, calling him his hamster. It didn't go unnoticed, not to the the rest of the members, nor Starlight.

N and Ravi had worked hard together to bring a choreography interesting enough for VIXX standards. Everyone had sent them a crazy look when they had explained the amount of references they were making thorough the dance, but Ravi had explained it was more logic to show they were more mentally bounded than physically, both ideologically, aesthetically and physically, since actual handcuffs would be too restrictive for the dance.

They had finished recording. Ravi had gotten a good number of neck chops by every single member, even their manager once, for his wording and stressing them so badly, but in the end they had worked so hard it showed on the album. They wanted their second full album to be as perfect as possible, and they were pretty satisfied with it.

And so they found themselves two scarce weeks from the comeback practising once again the dance pretty late in the late afternoon, sweaty and tired, colour high on their cheeks from the amount of dance, and sleep calling them.

“Once more, from the beginning,” promised N.

Everyone moved to their initial positions, looking at the glass to check coordination was close to perfect. VIXX liked to pride themselves on being in sync, even if this dance made it pretty difficult at times. The music started again and the boys repeated the routine. They skipped raising Hongbin because their arms couldn't bear it anymore and finished with a flourish.

“That was good,” cheered Hongbin, dimples showing with his smile.

“Yeah, now let's go home,” said Leo, who could only think of a shower and his bed, food be damned.

Their manager took them back to the apartment, since everyone was too tired to even keep their eyes open.

“Ravi. Oi, Ravi!” Hongbin was trying to wake Ravi up, who had fallen asleep once again on the most ridiculous place.

“I got this,” said Leo appearing out of nowhere.

“You sure?” Asked Hongbin, eyeing him in doubt, to which Leo only nodded.

As much as they had gone mostly back to how they were before, everyone had noticed Leo putting more distance than before between him and the members, even if it was going back to normal as well, joking with their maknae or pushing their leader.

Leo turned to Ravi and pushed him, shaking his shoulder.

“Wonsik, wake up,” he called. “Come on, Ravi.”

One of the arms fell on Leo's arm, head following until it was resting on his chest.

“Carry me,” came the sleepy voice.

“You're disgusting now, come on, wake up.”

“Hyung… hyung, carry me.”

Leo looked down to the calm face and decided to accept. Ravi was almost asleep and he had to grow up from that one incident. Sighing, since he didn't know how he could make Ravi move to help piggy back him and close the car at the same time, he started to move Ravi around

“You should stop eating pizza,” Leo complained while moving his friend around.

“Leo,” said Ravi sleepily.

“Yes, now help me get you out.”

But it was almost impossible to move him enough to carry him on his back. Although there was another option. Getting out of the car and looking at the scene objectivity, Leo knew it was the best idea. Getting close to Ravi made it look less great. Still, the boy kept his eyes closed and his breathing even and Leo was tired and really needed that shower, so without thinking it twice, entered halfway on the car, and started to move Ravi.

He almost laid over him, hands moving down the other's back of the leg, pushing the other body towards him and the outside of the car. When he was sitting, his whole weight on Leo's chest, he grabbed him and pushed him up, to him.

Ravi's head fell over Leo's left shoulder, arms naturally curling on the back of his neck as his legs straddled his hips. Leo shut the car and carried Ravi to the elevator, regretting all the time lost in his half dead member.

He entered the elevator and presses the top floor, watching the doors close, trapping them in, and seeing as one by one the buttons illuminated indicating they were going up.

Out of nowhere he felt a wet sensation run up his neck, his hands tensing around the other's thighs.

“Wonsik,” warned Leo.

They were barely reaching the twelfth level, but the assault didn't seem to end. Following the younger’s tongue came his plush lips, going down the column of his neck.

Leo's legs threatened to fail, so he pushed Ravi against the wall, their chests one against the other, Leo's breathing picking its pace.

“Won. Sik,” spat with his mouth half closed.

“Taekwoon,” answered back Ravi, voice dreamy, legs pushing him closer.

Ravi's hands, which hung until a couple of seconds ago from his neck, traveled up his nape, raising the hair in there, towards his head, where fingers tangled in his hair, pulling and rubbing at the same time, sending shivers down his back, pleasure curling all the way on his stomach almost painfully.

“Stop this already,” managed to let the other out between pants. “Wonsik…”

Ravi would never hear what Leo had tried to say. His teeth closed on the others junction between the neck and shoulder a little harder than they should have, cutting what Leo intended to say by a deep, drawn moan. Leo's hips pushed hard against Ravi's, pinning him from hip to shoulder to the elevator’s wall as Ravi proceeded to soothe the pain away with tiny kisses wherever his lips reached.

“I guess those are Daeguni and Shikkie,” heard suddenly Leo, to whom reality slapped hard.

He barely had time to try to compose himself, pinching Ravi's thigh hard enough to keep the other's mouth from his skin when the elevator's door opened and N and Ken greeted them from the other side.

Leo didn't give them a chance to have a look at his face. He could imagine the mess he was, he already felt like one. He passed them with a lame “shower” and entered the apartment. All but run up to the second floor and pushed the bathroom's door open, finding it blessedly empty.

He closed the door with the carrying weight of Ravi, collapsing against the rapper without a care.

“Taekwoon,” moaned deeply Ravi on his ear.

His real name, stripped from honorifics as it was and said in such sultry voice, made Leo moan again, face hiding on Ravi's neck, smelling that sweet aroma that was only Ravi, sweat and something dark that made him shudder.

He pushed the other man off him and away with the last bit of coherence he had on himself, opening the door and pushing the disoriented boy out, door closing on his confused face, loud lock following behind.

Leo turned, his back against the closed door. It was the second time in a month he’d had to lock it, confused to the core and burning on the inside.

The shower was nowhere close to cold this time, though, and neither did he stop himself when his hand wandered down where he most needed it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating this chapter to those two beautiful users who left those really sweet comments that inspired me to write more and post so they could enjoy more.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> BTW, most of the parts at the beginning are a twisted transcription of the 'Chained up' MV making video. I wanted to stay as close to reality as I could. I hope this doesn't seem too out of character ;)

Leo was looking at the clothes with a critic eye.

Fall had finally arrived and it was cold outside. It didn't help it was ten minutes to seven in the morning, the sky still grey and fog everywhere.

The stylist showed Leo his clothes, a black suit with white shirt. Pretty simple.

He touched the material as they fixed his makeup and styled their hair to comb over his left eye, fastening the choker they had been shown a couple of days ago.

They would wear different ones during the recording and performances. At the time he was wearing a thick black one with a silver sextagon in the middle. They were told it represented the six of them being chained up together, and it looked nice on them, but they weren't very comfortable.

“All done, Leo,” said the hairstylist.

He was released two minutes later, when they finished smearing eye-shadow on his lid. He was also given some privacy to put the clothes on, trousers that were cut slightly above the ankle, a white shirt tucked messily inside the trousers, jacket that reached to mid thigh. Choker and shoes on he got out, where they fixed here and there the clothes and sprayed his hair once more.

“Leo hyung is looking good,” said Ken, who wore a black shirt and black and white trousers.

They were called by the new director –a man in his mid thirties who they greeted–, who explained the idea he had for the day's recording.

Hyuk, Ken and Leo were moved towards the roof of the building, where cameras and cameramen were already focusing on the place they would stand.

The three of them positioned themselves back to back, forming a triangle. At the “action” they put themselves on acting mode and looked coolly around. And so they spent over an hour, cameras moving to have different angles.

They had a break in between, jackets on to keep the cold away. The three of them stood on a small circle to keep warmth while Leo searched inside his pockets for some snacks he had brought.

“Did you buy it yourself?” Asked Hyuk looking at the snacks Leo was dividing. “You’re weird.”

“Why,” asked Leo. “You don't like them? They're very tasty.” Ken nodded and grabbed one.

Leo sensed the camera behind him. The cameraman greeted them and asked if he could record some words from them.

“The three of us are now filming this early in the morning for VIXX’s second full album's music video.” Leo sighed and nodded at the youngest words. “I think it's a tough time for Leo hyung physically.” Leo smiled softly at the words. He had caught a cold two days ago and he had been working on making it disappear, and being out on the cold didn't feel well. “I'm the oldest,” said Hyuk, imitating Leo's soft voice.

“Aigo~.”

Leo looked at Ken and bumped him, softer than ever, smile trying to appear on his face.

N and Ravi joined them later. They recorded another scene with N on the stairs that lead to the roof and with Ravi as they climbed the stairs in synch.

Leo watched as Hyuk was recorded laughing at Ravi, the rapper cracking a smile at the young boy once he was free.

He was watching the scene, Ravi jumping on the maknae when he noticed the camera joining their side. Ken saw the camera and started to make chicken sounds, the cameraman hiding a smile behind the camera. When Ken started to make crow sounds, Leo was already laughing, unaware of the camera recording him as well.

They recorded again, they had some break in between, more recording. During breaks the cameraman would focus on them, stalking them for meaty content.

Leo was wandering around when he saw the camera recording Ravi, Hyuk by his side.

“I think the quality of the video will be great.” Leo walked past them, seeing their manager hiding, and sat listening to their background voices.

“Do you know how many times we have repeated the scene because of you?” Complained Hyuk.

Ravi fixed his choker with a smile on his face, N joining them. Hyuk said something to which Ravi reacted trying to neck chop him. N smiled at Ravi, following him in circles, protecting their youngest member.

“Get away from me, green monster!” 

N had appeared that morning on set with his hair green. Everyone had stared at him as if he had grown a second head. N just shrugged, touched his hair and said something like ‘it will go away’, rushing to know what he had to do.

“Green monster,” kept wondering Ravi. “Where have I seen it before?”

“Shrek!” Answered N happily, backhugging Ravi.

Hyuk got close to the pair again, eyeing their touchy leader, who was getting comfortable on Ravi’s back. Leo smiled at the scene, the members looking like presents with their huge warm jackets, seeking warmth from anyone. He saw Hyuk eye Ravi's chest, which was exposed by the open buttons on his shirt, and putting one of his hands on the aperture.

Leo had to bite his cheek, eyes closing for a moment, when he heard the groan Ravi let out, his mind flying to the memory he had tried to push deep on his mind from a couple of days ago.

“What kind of reaction was that?” Said Hyuk faking surprise. “You're such a strange person.” He walked away, Leo could see, to bother Ken next.

“Why is he talking with the acting tone?” Asked N amused, hands still around Ravi's waist.

Ravi raised his first as if to punch the absent boy.

At some point, Hongbin joined them, bringing with him some more snacks they devoured; the day getting warmer, to everyone's relief.

Hongbin had told them about that day's recording, apologising for being late and greeting everyone on the set.

After eating, they were called by the director once again, who explained them they would record the intro part on the first floor. They would have to walk together as a group, looking away from camera and to their surroundings, expression cool.

They recorded from the front, both sides, behind and above. Stopping every once in awhile so everyone could check it was alright.

Leo ended tired, although not for standing or walking. It had been the part of the intro he hadn't listened to yet that had made his nerves stand on end, uneasiness spreading through his limbs. At the end of Hongbin’s solo Ravi could be heard whispering “good boy”, and Leo would be damned if he hadn't felt his legs fail the first time the words surrounded the abandoned place, cameras on and everyone around him.

Neither went unnoticed. The members had asked Leo if he was alright, to which he had blamed lack of sleep. After checking he was alright everyone turned to Ravi and asked when had he added that part to the song. Ravi said he had actually added it right after the recording, but had still took the old demo, too lazy to copy paste the song for a single whisper, eyeing his sick friend with a look Leo had started to hate. And so Leo had ended biting his cheek until it bled every time that single whisper echoed around the set.

He was resting crouched on himself, not wanting to dirty his clothes while keeping warmth. Close to him, Hyuk was playing with Ken, who was pouting to the camera, when Ravi hugged their cute main vocal out of nowhere, Leo averting his eyes from the scene and sighing at the empty feeling on his chest, not wanting to acknowledge what was already starting to make sense to him.

The recording seemed to go on forever after it, finally getting called by the director.

“Today you all worked hard. Tomorrow we will start recording the individual shots. We took the idea Ravi proposed and prepared ‘rooms’ for each of you.”

“Rooms?”

“Individual rooms that could represent each member's greatest fears,” explained the director, Ravi nodding at him.

“Are you going to push Leo and Ravi into a room with bugs and watch them scream?” Laughed Hyuk, Hongbin cracking at it.

“Don't worry,” laughed the man. “You will like them. We had in mind recording as many of them as possible. We will have to build them inside the set, you will be under a roof this time. Originally we thought we could call you individually as we are preparing the sets, so you have time to come, get dressed and have your makeup and hair done, if it's alright with everyone.” At everyone's nod, he continued. “If that's so, we will start tomorrow early with the youngest.”

“Do I have to be the first one?” Pouted Hyuk.

“Oh, come on, don't be like that, Hyuk.”

They were interrupted by one of the cameramen, who eyed them and started to talk to the man.

“The sets for the boys have already arrived. We have told them to wait, where should we send them?”

“Oh!” Said the director. “It's here already. I wasn't expecting it. If that's so, they should head to the building we had prepared down there, we can start building the sets.” He eyed the six men still waiting to be sent home. “Hyuk, if you're not tired still we could even start recording now, this way we can let Hongbin’s set prepared for tomorrow and none of us needs to wake up extra soon.”

It was evident on Hyuk's face he was tired, but everyone knew that if given the opportunity to finish today and have the whole tomorrow free, they would take it. In the end, the young boy nodded, said his goodbye and parted ways.

Everyone headed to get changed into their own clothes, their manager staying behind so he could drive Hyuk home. They walked to the car they had come in that morning, tired and hungry, wishing to arrive home soon.

Leo walked all the way to the backseat. He usually sat behind their driving manager, but he was too tired to sit in the middle, knowing Ken, who was driving now, N and Hongbin would be chatting on the front, so he opened the door and pushed to the back before anyone could get in. He rescued his earphones and forgotten phone and replayed their new album's track list as he checked his messages. He noticed Ravi sitting to his right, also searching for his earphones and playing his music.

“Wait. Can you put this in there?”

Leo was shoved a heavy box that had been originally on the front, more boxes already tied on the middle of the car.

“Don't tie it to the middle, or it might fall. Shikkie, you can sit by Leo,” ordered N from the front. “Leo! Fasten your seatbelt this instant!”

Leo rolled his eyes. He was a natural hater, apparently, but he hated them. He had adopted the habit of not wearing it as a child, habit that made N scream at him more than once. He put it on, if only to shut the oldest’s complains, huffing as he looked out of the window, Ravi's leg warm against his right one.

He couldn't remember falling asleep, but he opened his eyes to the sound of claxons. His head was tilted and resting on Ravi's shoulder, the other's head resting on his as he saw him play a game on his phone.

“At this rate we won't ever reach home. I swear my stomach is starting to consume itself,” groaned Ken. “I hate traffic. Can't they go on vacations another week?”

“Is it me or this is the third time this idiot hasn't signaled that he is stopping? Is he stupid?”

“It's actually the fourth time, I don't wanna wake the kids up by making too much noise or screaming at him.”

“I'm awake. And I think Leo hyung just woke up as well.” Ravi's voice was rough from lack of usage and sounded right under Leo's head.

Leo sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He could hear N telling something in hushes.

“Hakyeon, can you put the radio on? I wanna know what the heck is going on.”

“Aw~,” coed N. “It's so cute when you call me by my name, Jaehwanie~.”

“I'm not Jaehwan!” Said scandalised Ken. “I'm Kenjumma!”

“Ugh, shut up you two, I'm sleeping!”

“Beanie! Can it be that you have raised your voice twice this month, already?”

“Sleeping!”

“That's thrice!”

“... Collision of various vehicles on the entrance to Seoul has had traffic stopped for the past twenty minutes. We are receiving messages right now informing us the ambulances are already leaving the area and they're proceeding to retire the damaged vehicles. On the other side, at the northeast highway to…” Proclaimed the radio.

“Oh, well, this should start clearing soon.”

Soon was actually another fifteen minutes. Hongbin had fallen asleep again, Ken and N were playing charades on the front, Ravi was checking some of the recording videos they had gotten sent and Leo was playing Piano Tiles.

He felt the seatbelt push him back against the seat nearly as soon as the car abruptly stopped. He heard Ken angrily call the driver's attention, screaming at N to write the car's information down to denounce it as soon as they reached home. Hongbin was going back to sleep after checking everything seemed okay.

Leo was half frozen on his seat. At the stop, Ravi, who was too used to Leo not wearing his seatbelt, had thrown his arm out. And his hand was currently pressing tight the inside of Leo's thigh.

Both stayed unmoving as Ken kept screaming everything he had to the driver before them, N amusedly joining him. Leo's eyes looked down, to see those long fingers curved around his upper thigh. So close, too close…

“Shut up,” mumbled Hongbin sleepily.

The actor's voice seemed much much further to Leo though, the air locked inside his chest, eyes wide open in surprise.

Ravi's big, warm palm, had moved up his thigh until it was resting against his crotch, Leo biting his cheek harder than he had had to on the recording set, tasting the coopery flavour of blood on his tongue as the warmth of the other man's hand made him pulse under its weight.

When the pressure changed, pushing down on him, he couldn't stop himself from letting the goan out, regretting it as soon as it happened.

“Leo?” N was turning on his seat already, Ken still cursing by his side. “Are you alright?”

Leo could only nod, eyes closing tight as the hand moved over him again, his cheeks flushing red at what was happening. At the idea of anyone turning back and seeing what they were doing.

“You're turning red,” kept the oblivious leader. “Are you running a fever? You have been on that suit the whole day and it was really cold.”

“I will check his temperature, N hyung,” said suddenly Ravi, voice messing with Leo.

Ravi's right hand went to Leo's back of the head, bringing his head against his. Their heads collided softly against each other's, Ravi's forehead resting against Leo's, two mere centimeters separating their lips, Leo's quick intakes mixing with Ravi's.

Leo almost had a heart attack when the other's thumb moved up and on a circle around his aching head, his other hand tugging on his hair torturously, his breath coming in in a hiss at the stimulation.

“Ravi! If he's running a fever you will catch all the viruses!” Screamed N, reminding Leo of where they were, making him groan so low only Ravi could hear.

“He might have some temperature,” lied Ravi, voice neutral. “Will let him sleep on me some more.”

“Watch out, don't you get sick too!” With that, their leader turned to Ken and asked him about the driver.

Leo bit his lip, drawing Ravi's attention to the mistreated area, another tantalising circle making him huff.

“There.” Ravi guided his head to his shoulder, Leo's mouth right over Ravi's clavicle. “Rest, hyung.”

Leo wanted to murder Ravi and the tone he used with the honorific, almost mocking it, thumb caressing him without a stop and hand still messing with his hair.

“Stop it,” he stuttered against the other's neck.

At his words, the thumb retreated for a couple of seconds before the whole hand was grounding against him. Leo hid his face on Ravi's chest and swallowed the scream that tried to come out of his mouth.

“Finally home. I hope Hyokkie doesn't have problems coming.”

Hongbin went out, half asleep, to call the elevator, collapsing against the wall of the garage, N following behind happily.

“Ravi, get out,” called Ken, watching as N kept the doors of the elevator open for them.

“I think Leo hyung might end up puking. Go ahead, I will close.”

“You sure?” Ravi nodded. “Leo hyung, you alright?”

Purposely Ravi squeezed him just as the question finished, making him choke a moan that sounded on Ken's ears like a dying animal. Ken run away, not wanting to catch what the other boy seemed to have, talking to N, who marked the floor before the other two joined them.

“Stop!” Shouted Leo, finally separating from Ravi once the rest had disappeared. “Ravi… Ravi stop.” His voice cracked as he choked on another moan.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “We should head out.” And Ravi almost carried him out, making sure to lock the car, last week's incident inverted.

When he pushed him on the elevator, Leo's head hit the wall of it, mouth parting with a whimper, the warmth of Ravi pressing against him from shoulder to knees.

“Shit,” cursed Ravi as the elevator stopped sooner than expected.

“You going up?” Asked a man as the doors opened, Ravi quick enough to turn the two of them so he was resting against the wall, Leo's face hidding on Ravi's neck once again.

The man entered and pressed a number in the middle. Ravi eyeing him. He would be on his early thirties, dressed well, eyeing them suspiciously as well.

“Wonsik…” Came Leo's breathless voice, the younger had pushed his knee between his legs and was pressing up.

“Is your friend alright?” Asked the man.

“Yes.” Ravi smiled beautifully at him. “He should be okay soon.”

Had Leo been able to see the smile at the moment, he wouldn't have considered it beautiful, but the pure definition of evil. The oblivious man, though, probably thought Leo’d had too much to drink and worried more about his brand new shoes than Leo's well being.

“Hope he feels better,” said the man as he not so subtly scurried away from them.

“He will,” promised Ravi, his voice sending shivers down the oldest’s back.

“Stop this, Wonsik.” But Ravi never stopped, body pressing against his the remaining floors.

“How is Daeguni doing?” He was startled at N’s voice.

Leo hadn't realised they were already on the apartment, N getting closer to check on their member.

“I will carry him up and check on him. Order some pizza?”

Ravi was grabbing him by the back of the thighs, raising him so his legs crossed low on his hips, his hard on pressing against Ravi's painfully, hiding both from their sight.

“Will you two be okay on your own?” Ravi nodded, making his way up to the second floor.

He opened his room's door, closing it softly behind, a sly smile curving on his mouth as he opened the door to the finally finished studio, the one he had checked, would not let a single sound out.

“Wonsik, what are you…?”

“That was so rude, Taekwoon.” There it was again, dropping all the honorifics. “Last week. Locking me out while you enjoyed yourself on the bathroom.” His long fingers worked Leo's jeans open. “Were you thinking about me? My hands on you?” Leo moaned at the dirty words whispered on his ear as he was freed from the tight denim. “Did you moan my name as you cum?”

Leo did just that once again, loud and deep, as Ravi's fist closed around him. He was sitting on one of the tables that had been pushed out of the way and was resting against a nearly bare wall. Legs spread to accommodate Ravi, fly open and fingers searching for an anchor.

“Wonsik, please…”

“‘Wonsik, please…’ what?” Ravi laughed, the sound so deep it made goosebumps erupt over his sweaty skin. “‘Wonsik, please stop’? You truly are a ‘Beautiful liar’, Taekwoon.” The reference pulled something inside Leo, a sob leaving his lips, his dick crying in oversensitivity. “Just tell me what you want.”

Leo couldn't even think at this point, lust fogging his mind and breathing laborious as he tried to put some oxygen inside his lungs.

“Stop,” he managed to let out, voice hoarse.

“Liar.” Ravi pushed the jeans off his hips and down his legs, underwear following soon after, while his hand never stopped working him.

“Fuck you,” he groaned frustrated, hand shooting to his hair and pulling viciously.

“Taekwoon.” It was Ravi's turn to moan, the young man's pleasure igniting Leo ten times more. “Fucking tell me,” he growled into his ear, tongue darting out to follow the curve of it.

Leo was desperate, Ravi's hand pressing down on the base of his aching member, stopping his pleasure for a couple of seconds before he was burning once again hotter than before. His moans were cries now, sweat covering his body, sticking the T-shirt he had to his chest, nipples hard and seeking attention. Leo needed it to stop but he had lost all coherence already, he could not remember why they needed to stop, he just wanted it to end, he needed it to end already.

“Cum,” whispered him, voice too raw. “Make me cum.”

He didn't know when Ravi had gotten rid of his own jeans, but his dick was joining Leo's on Ravi's grip, hand big and pushing their pulsing members together, the sight of it too unbearable, he raised his face towards the rapper. Ravi could see his pupils being blown, eyes all black with lust and hunger, the smell of sex and sweat and –oh god– Leo surrounding him. His cheeks were tinted pink and although he could not see all the way down the T-shirt, he swore the flush went all the way down his chest, covering his body, lips tantalisingly red from being bitten and from arousal, red like candies. He had the sudden urge to taste them, and so he did.

Leo felt the other's lips over his, small and plush, warm and inviting. His legs went up higher around the rapper's hips, pushing him closer, hand traveling from neck to back, where he dig his nails. The other hand, that tried moments ago to push him away, now pushed him closer towards him, lips moving with Ravi's, teeth biting, tongue lapping and lips sucking everywhere they reached.

Leo came hard with Ravi's name on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but after I wrote chapter 9 something got into me and I created a monster out of those two XD.
> 
> I would say sorry, but I'm not sorry at all, LMAO. I hope you enjoy ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, thanks, thanks for all the warm messages ^-^ they make me improve more!

He woke up warm and relaxed, a smile almost tugging at the corners of his lips. At least until reality clashed on him, the whole evening coming in a flash.

His cheeks burned and his traitorous dick surged back to life at the memories, making him push the covers off him angrily, storming to the bathroom for a cold shower.

“Fucking Wonsik,” Leo groaned under the water.

His head hit the tiles, the cold shower not enough to keep his hormones subdued. He got out, dried himself roughly and put some clothes he took out without looking at them, going down for breakfast.

Everyone but the two youngest sat at the table, coffee and toasts everywhere in sight. The three of them were chatting, the two oldest already full of energy and playing around, sitting one across the other. At Leo's appearance everyone looked up.

“Leo-eo~,” said Ken happily.

“Daeguni!”

“Leo hyung,” greeted Ravi, as he usually did in the morning, nonchalantly as ever.

Leo's blood boiled. That asshole could at least look shy or awkward; instead, he smiled at him brightly, stuffing his face in jam. Jam he licked off his lips, Leo catching that tongue lap all the sweetness away with too much interest.

He shook his head subtly and sat across from Ravi, N to his left. There was already a cup awaiting him, which he filled with some of the coffee, drinking it as he ignored everyone.

“Are you ignoring us today?” Asked N, cooing.

“Maybe his throat hurts,” replied Ken. “You should add some honey to your drinks so you get better, it wouldn't be good to miss the debut stages.”

Leo looked his way, eyes judging, but eventually pushed a teaspoon inside the sticky mess and dropped a little bit of it inside his coffee, looking at it in disgust.

“Yes! We can't have our Daeguni be sick. Starlight would miss you. Ravi, stop drooling, can you? Leo pass Ravi the honey. I swear this kid will ruin us with his sweet tooth. And speaking of, when will Hyokkie wake up? I feel like hugging people.”

“You can hug me, Njumma,” smiled Ken. “You can always hug Kenjumma and the Bubblejumma!”

“I can always have Jaehwanie to have my back. Not like Leo, the sour kid, or Ravi the too-cool-for-you. Hyokkie is on his teen rebel phase still and Hongbin hates me.”

“Oh no, he hates you!”

Those two kept their loud drama as Leo judged them, closing the honey before passing it to Ravi, their fingers touching and making Leo nearly drop the jar.

He drank his disgusting coffee and was putting some jam on his toast when he felt the movement on his leg. Raising his eyes he met Ravi across the table, looking down to his food but smirk growing on his face as the object –which Leo guessed was actually Ravi's foot– kept up until it was nestled between the other man's legs, so close, yet not touching him.

Leo darted a look towards their oblivious members, swallowing as his dick started to grow in interest, casting his eyes on his food once again and pretending his three years younger friend, housemate and coworker wasn't rubbing his foot over his hard dick while other two members were sitting half a meter from them, a small table the only thing hiding them from their eyes.

Ravi's smirk was subtle for anyone that wasn't aware of the situation developing right in front of them, but Leo could see it perfectly, making him break the toast in frustration as he bit his lip again to contain the sounds that wanted to be voiced.

Leo regretted instantly rising his eyes. In front of him, Ravi had his fingers covered in honey, making him wonder how in hell had he dirtied them that much in such a short while. Ravi, sensing eyes on him, looked up, eyes meeting with Leo's, smirk growing and turning dark as he raised his fingers to his face, tongue coming out to clean them.

Leo choked on the bread, making N pat his back and ask him if he was alright, blushing boy nodding as he averted his eyes, drinking from his remaining coffee nervously.

But Ravi wasn't having it. He pressed his foot harder and insistently until Leo had no other choice but look up, to Ravi sucking intently on two of his fingers, digits disappearing all the way into his mouth before appearing, shiny with saliva and honey.

Leo would have kicked him a couple of weeks ago if he had seen him do that, going back to his food and ignoring his pig member. Now, though, he felt his blood rush south, the hair on his nape raising as he threw furtive looks to the other two, who were busy discussing which was better to annoy from the absent two youngests.

With a popping sound Ravi finally took his fingers out of his mouth, lips red and shiny closing around an apple. Leo just thanked it was an apple and not a banana. He could not have been able to bite down the sound that would have left him given the case.

It was finally when his mug had been close to falling from his hands twice when he pushed annoyed his hand under the table, grabbing Ravi with a strong grip, nails sinking on the ankle's flesh, eyes raising with a warning towards the other man. A man who was now parting his lips in a soundless moan of his own, eyes darkening as he stared at Leo, waiting for him to do something.

“Leo hyung… is that a hickey on your neck?”

Leo turned his head towards the sleepy voice of their maknae so hard he actually heard it crack, eyes big and hand slapping again his neck, where supposedly Hyuk had seen the bruise.

“No,” he answered defensively.

Leo winced at his voice, grainy and deep. Actually deep from arousal, though none of their members needed to know that bit of information, except Ravi, who looked at him knowingly.

“It looked like one,” continued Hyuk, making Leo want to strangle him. “Right here.” He made a gesturing motion on his own neck.

“The choker,” he blurted. “I hurt myself yesterday. With the choker.”

It was a lame excuse, but everyone seemed to accept it, discussing the uncomfortable items as Leo finished his food quickly, Ravi's foot blessedly off him, now that Hyuk sat between them.

He left the dinning room as quickly as he finished, leaving everything behind, members telling him to pick his stuff, but he was already climbing the stairs, steps quick behind him.

He needn't be a genius to know who they belonged to, and he knew exactly who it was when he reached his room and he was turned against his door, back hitting the wood, fingers turning his head to the side.

“I wasn't trying to leave a visible mark,” said Ravi, rubbing the bruise with his thumb.

Leo didn't know what to expect, but it was not that comment. Maybe an ‘it was a mistake, I'm sorry, hyung’ was too much to wish for, especially after what had happened on the kitchen until moments ago, but he definitely wasn't expecting the lips that close around his neck afterwards, on the same spot he had just been rubbed, most likely where the mark was, Ravi sucking on the area hard.

“Fuck,” came out of his lips, hips moving on its own accord and smashing against Ravi’s, finding him equally hard.

Teeth closed around the sensitive area, hand pushing him against his hard body as he opened the room's door, pushing them clumsily inside and closing the door with their bodies. And if Leo hadn't expected the morning's incidents until now, neither did he expect the lips that crashed against his.

On probably the first lucid thought of the day he pushed Ravi off him. But Ravi pushed their lips back together, biting and then soothing the area with his tongue until Leo surrendered and opened his mouth.

They kissed each other, lips against lips for a long time, Leo's heart slowing down from the initial surprise, both moulding to the other's body. Ravi's tongue poked Leo timidly, the older opening his mouth without a second thought, exploring each other's mouths slowly, kiss growing in speed, lips barely touching anymore, tongues fighting for dominance. Their hips grounded together, moans lost on the other's mouths, nails and fingers pressing the flesh they touched desperately, needing to touch everywhere, burning wherever it did.

Ravi was the one to break the kiss, mouth hanging millimetres from Leo's, lips brushing against lips as he spoke.

“I wanna touch you everywhere.”

“Touch me,” Leo's voice was but a whisper.

“I wanna taste you.” Leo could just moan. “Wanna suck you until you can't even stand on your legs.”

“Wonsik, god.”

“Say it again.” There it was again. An order. Leo shivered, a flame of lust coiling on his abdomen.

“Wonsik,” he said in a low moan.

“You did it. You came with my name on your lips.” Leo could barely remember a thing from yesterday but the burning need, too far gone to think clearly, much as now. “You fucking tease,” Ravi's groan echoed on the room. “Biting your lips, licking them, watching me from behind your bangs all innocently. You're the biggest tease, Taekwoon.” The hand that wasn't keeping his head up to meet his eyes traveled down his chest, brushing against his nipples. “You're so sensitive, I want to make you cum only from touching and sucking them. I bet you could come just from that. Couldn't you?” Leo narrowed his eyes, but at the continuous caress he nodded, torturous callous fingers following his flat stomach, making him look down. “Look at me,” Ravi warned pulling his hair, pleasure going straight to his hard, weeping dick. “You like it when you have your hair pulled, don't you?” Leo nodded again. “Don't you?” Repeated him, tugging on the strands again.

“Yes! Yes, shit, yes.”

“I was so surprised that morning. I never expected it, and then you moaned. It was so sinful, you sounded so wanton, your lips parting like that. I could only think how good they would look grapped around my cock.” Leo sucked air into his lungs sharply, but Ravi just continued. “And then the dance. That fucking dance.” His eyes traveled down his body, hungry. “When you put yourself on your knees, I had to stop myself from fucking your mouth in front of everyone.” Leo was so turned on at this point he wondered if Ravi's words could make him cum. “And I saw. I saw when you heard that whisper on the original track. Do you have a praise kink, hyung?”

Their mouths met again, tongues pushing against the other desperately. Ravi dominated the whole kiss, not letting Leo even once set his pace, but he couldn't care anymore.

“Stop talking so much shit and make me cum,” Leo growled.

“So egoistic. Shouldn't you make me cum first?”

Leo's hand traveled down and stopped centimeters away from actually touching Ravi. He wondered, if he joined the game completely, what would happen with them.

He didn't have much more time to think since Ravi's phone blasted on his back pocket, startling the two of them.

“What?” Barked Ravi, listening to the voice. Leo could identify N’s tone of voice. “Okay, will do.”

Leo looked at Ravi, who was looking at the distance that separated them with a frown. Slowly, the frown disappeared to give way to a mischievous smirk that rounded the evil category.

“What?” Asked Leo, wanting to push their bodies together.

“I have to go record,” Ravi took a step back, and then another one, pushing Leo deeper into the room, since they had been pressed against the door. “Be a good boy,” his smirk grew when he saw the other's body shake at the words. “Don't cum until I'm back.”

That said, Leo still trying to form words, he opened the door and left, closing the door behind him and going to his room to change his clothes and drive to the set.

Leo cursed him, rolling his eyes even though he wasn't there. Still, he never wandered to his unattended member, but he did take the second cold shower of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I leave it on the comments and I believe it's noticeable, but I'm not a native English speaker. So if you see some weird stuff pop, please don't hesitate on telling me. You all make me improve <3
> 
> This is a little random LOL, and shamelessly promoting the amino, but if any of you want to come what with me around about Wontaek, VIXX or Kpop (or anything), you're all free to find me on K-Tastic Amino. I'm Mine ^-^  
> http://aminoapps.com/p/rgb2wf  
> (Really shameless)


	12. Chapter 12

In the hour and a half Leo spent alone on his room, he wondered exactly what the fuck had happened that morning.

At some point he had given up on logic and followed his body, and Ravi had welcomed it without a complain. But why now?

It had been a long time since Ravi had a girlfriend, too busy with work and too tired to keep the anonymity of one. Leo could really understand if Ravi was just horny, they were both young men in the end, but he had never saw Ravi look twice at a man. And if he had done, he could have any man out there, he was attractive and famous.

Maybe it was for those two reasons that he had seeked release on their dorm. But among everyone, why did he have to pick Leo? Leo, who thought things too much.

Leo didn't enjoy speaking ill of his members, but everyone agreed N was the biggest hoe among them. Ravi could have picked N. N probably would have felt flattered at it and would spoil him for a while, going back to work as soon as their agreement ended. Not like it had ever happened, but knowing N, he would have not found it weird, and wouldn't have asked questions.

Leo kept wondering when he got his call. He dressed and drove to the set, recording for an hour or so, checking lastly the shoots.

The director had been right, he really liked his set. Dozens of golden chains hung from the ceiling in a triangle, shining bright and beautiful, Leo taking photos to send to his mother and sisters as soon as he reached home.

“They should represent your fear to standing out and dragging attention to yourself.” He had been told.

He entered the chains, he looked between them, he lip synced… Recording went really smooth, his biggest inconvenience being the actual clothes he wore.

The jacket was held by a small button together, leaving his chest and stomach exposed. He knew as soon as he started dancing he would be half naked, and he knew exactly whose fault it was, thinking of his ever perfectionist member, wanting his song to be perfect. Of course he would also have a look into the wardrobe and decided who would wear what.

He had tried to convince the stylists to let him borrow one of them, but they had refused, saying they needed to wash them or add something extra.

But Leo didn't give up, a plan already forming on his head as he arrived home, Ken already out towards the set, Hyuk gone and Hongbin immersed on his photography. N would be hard to avoid, but he was ready for it.

"Leo!" Greeted their leader as soon as he reached. "Tell me about your room. C'mon, tell me!"

Leo eyed their leader and ignored him, missing as his cheeks puffed childishly, walking to the kitchen and borrowing something for later, excusing himself with an imaginary headache.

Ravi waited a couple of minutes for N to stop complaining and decided to join Leo, already curious about the recording, and moreover, Leo's opinion on his clothes.

But the moment Ravi opened the door he regretted it.

Sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but a shirt, was Leo. A shirt that belonged to Ravi. As a matter of fact, Ravi's favourite shirt, the one he kept ironed on his room and reserved for special days. The soft shirt that would caress his skin pleasantly as he wore it.

If he thought his clothes would give him a seizure, he was wrong. The moment Leo stopped peeling the banana and looked up into his eyes, he knew he was fucked up, the older one feeling pleased with himself when he saw how fast his eyes zeroed on the two items he had quickly acquired for his plan.

Ravi's eyes were now on Leo's mouth, as the pale boy parted his rosy lips to push the first inch of banana on his mouth, humming around the fruit in content.

Ravi felt his breath stop as his heartbeat picked up in speed as he saw the fruit disappear between those sinful lips, cheeks hollowing around the offending object.

He made sure to close the door and then strode towards the man that looked at him with amusement on his eyes, fruit pushing in and out of his mouth all the time.

With a growl, Ravi took the banana and pushed it out of Leo's mouth, throwing it on the general direction of the bin. He climbed the small bed and loomed over the other, who looked up innocently.

"Tease," he hissed on his ear. "You know what happens to teasers? I punish them."

Leo hadn't been expecting it, he was grabbed by the arm and turned, face against the mattress, being held in such a vulnerable position by his unpredictable friend, surprisingly making him even harder.

He had had a long time that morning to come up with the decision that if Ravi had chosen him to have a good time, he would give him what he wanted. And so, for the first time in his life, he had made a huge research on gay sex.

It wasn't like Ravi or him were virgins. Leo knew what he was being explained as he read, he had being blown and knew what to expect, he actually expected Ravi to get bored soon enough, or until their comeback kept them too busy, new music coming to his mind and overworking himself on his new studio the whole night.

When he had seen the clothes and looked back at that morning, he felt some vengeance would actually suit his rapper, and had decided to tease him a little bit, he just hadn't expected to be pushed against the mattress, clothed hard dick pushed against his bare ass cheeks, his hot breath fanning his nape.

"You better be a drama queen, because I won't stop even if you ask me to."

Leo didn't know what he meant, but he didn't have time to think. He was pushed up to his knees from his hair, the pulling on the verge of painful, still exciting him.

Ravi didn't let go of his hair, pushing the head back, exposing his whole neck, back bowing back against him. The shirt buttons started to be unbuttoned, one by one, so slowly, taking its time to tease the skin around, a high pitched moan leaving his lips as a nail grazed his hard nipple, back trying to bow harder.

The first slap was on his inner thigh, the sound that left Leo more of surprise than actual pain. The second one was on his navel, sending shocks up and down his backbone. He was pushed on his hands and knees, hair still pulled back, the third slap falling on his right ass cheek.

He felt precum rolling down his dick as the fourth one arrived, hiss accompanying this one, for the oversensitivity. And Ravi didn't lie. He had asked him a couple of times to stop and he hadn't. But he wasn't sobbing by the end because of the pain of the slaps, but the pain on his hard on, dick flushed a dark red that looked almost purple.

"You actually enjoyed that," whispered in amazement Ravi on his ear, curving all the way over Leo as his hands kept massaging the red hand marks. "You're full of surprises, hyung."

Leo smirked to the mattress, waiting for Ravi to move. When he did, he pushed his body down and to the side, suddenly towering over him. His grip on his hair was now gone, look of surprise adorning the younger's face.

"I won't stop even if you ask me to," repeated Leo the other's words, already working his way down his clothes.

He took the others shirt off, exposing that naturally tanned body, with the worked muscles drawing planes on his skin, shadows catching on them. His chest was so soft as he pet it, velvety skin over the rippling muscle.

He saw the tattoo on his upper chest, following his clavicle and got down. Ravi's hips hit his when he bit the skin around the letters, licking their form before keep traveling south, biting and kissing all the skin he met in between, Ravi panting hard under him by the time he reached his jeans.

Leo actually got off the bed, pushing Ravi to the corner, legs on each side of Leo. He looked up to his eyes to find he had achieved what he wanted. He would be unable not to have this image on his mind during the whole promotions on his rap part, as Leo got on his knees.

Leo freed him, pushing the clothes down and off his legs, exposing skin he had seen previously on the run, but never really stared at closely. It was, matter of fact, the first time Leo had a dick that close to his face, but he didn't let himself be scared by it, remembering the few rules he knew from own experience. And so he engulfed the head, tentatively licking the slit. The groan that accompanied the action got him over the bitterness of the precum he had just tasted, sucking really slowly, more to make him impatient than anything. Eventually Ravi begging him to speed up, Leo pushing as much of it as he felt he could take before going back down for more.

It had been hard for him to understand how to breathe, but as soon as that was set, he had abandoned himself on it, moving up towards the head and using his tongue, where he could see everything being done to him, low moans and praising words reaching his ears. He saved the distance with his fist as he hummed in pleasure at the rubbing the fingers were making on his scalp, sending vibrations down Ravi's member and making him pull at the strands at hand, actually making the vibrations longer, torturous.

Leo's jaw was hurting so he let it slip from his lips and stood to straddle Ravi. Ravi looked at his mouth for a really long time before he finally pushed their mouths together, the hunger of both palpable as they bit and sucked on the other's tongue, Ravi tasting himself on Leo and almost losing his mind.

Eventually Leo grew impatient, grinding down on whatever he felt. Except what he felt was Ravi's dick pushing past his cheeks.

They both stopped abruptly, none of them knowing what they should do, but Leo knew this was a couple of days, weeks at most, and as Ravi's body read, "You only live once". Staring at his eyes, he glided it between his thighs and cheeks, creating friction that made them moan. Ravi's hand closed around Leo's arousal, masturbating him at the same speed Leo rode him, sight too much for both.

They came seconds later, bodies collapsing against the other's, falling in a mess of limbs on the mattress.


	13. Chapter 13

For the next two weeks the two of them had met between rooms, hiding from their members and enjoying the other's body. Their members had been happy they seemed to have made up and gone back to normal, peace returning to the dorm, as everyone joked with everyone. But as soon as promotions started everyone was too busy, the two men’s activities stopping altogether as they performed on music shows.

And later, after the promotions were finished, both of them had gone completely to how they used to be before that one first incident.

Ravi would lay on their sofa, pushing everyone off so he could sit by Leo's side and he would play with the other's hair as they watched whichever was the film they had all sat down to watch. He would crack jokes at any moment and delight when Ken followed his stupid game. He would push past the bathroom's door once again as Leo was drying himself and just strip and enter the shower, when two mere weeks ago he had pushed Leo against the counter and blown him, taking a shower together for a long time afterwards, the rest of the members looking at Ravi as if he had gone completely crazy when they discovered he had spent more than five minutes on the bathroom showering.

It had been after that moment, when Ravi just walked past him even if Leo was stark naked and both had some free time, free to enjoy fifteen minutes of their bodies, when Leo had known it.

“It's happening now,” he remembered thinking.

He had known the day would eventually come. Before he had accepted his fate and gave up to Ravi's unspoken proposition, he had known his friend just needed some way to relieve his stress. He had wondered if it was the right way, worried it would mess their work together and make things awkward, but over it, scared it would destroy their friendship.

He had known they would go back to how they used to be, all professional and friendly, like adults. Yet, he couldn't help but stare at Ravi's back if he knew no one was looking, trying to understand why he had accepted.

“It's over. He got bored of you,” his own voice whispered on his head at all times.

And even if he knew, even if he had known way before accepting the deal it was dangerous for him, even if he had known those painful stabs on his chest as he saw Ravi getting close to the other members were not unknown of, and knew exactly why they were assaulting him, he had accepted. He had accepted and now it was time for him to accept the consequences.

N, who sat to his left, had asked him once if he was alright during breakfast, touching his arm softly and whispering so low only Leo could hear it.

Leo had nodded and made a gesture he tried to pass as a smile even if he was biting back tears as across from him Ravi flirted with Ken, and Ken, being the showman he was, played along.

But they were a group and Leo couldn't blame anyone but himself for his own stupidity. He knew he should have laughed Ravi's proposition off, pretend everything was fine. But deep down, deep deep down, so hidden Leo pretended that voice in him didn't exist, he had known he would not survive knowing Ravi had proposed the same to other member because he had rejected him. And so he had pushed himself inside this dark hole with no exit, because he was too coward to let the other man seek anyone but him.

And so, smiling through the tears that threatened to fall every once in a while, he had pretended everything was fine, letting the other man pet his hair and hug him in front of cameras and smiling at him like he always used to do, because he was too scared of losing him altogether.

Leo sighed for the third time that morning, staring at his fake coffee wondering if to drink it or not.

“Leo hyung, are you alright?” Asked their maknae, everyone turning to look at him.

Leo had been surprised at the question and licked his lips to gain a second to collect his thoughts, thinking of the next lie he would tell them, but was fortunately saved by his phone ringing.

“Yes?” Answered Leo as he picked without checking the ID.

“Taekwoon,” came his mother's voice from the other side of the phone.

“Mom! Is everything okay?”

Leo felt the others’ curious looks as he talked with his mother, paying more attention to the conversation than their own food.

“Can't I call my own son without a reason?” Laughed her. “I was actually going to ask you if you could come this weekend. Your sister's birthday is on Sunday and we're going to eat all home. You could come see your old mother, and Minyul has also been asking for you.”

Leo's heart warmed at the mention of his cute nephew calling for him, a smile curling his lips in the first real smile he had felt in a while.

“I will make sure to ask for some free days to spend with you, mom. Is dad going to be home, too?”

“Yes! He is coming tomorrow morning, he went fishing with Mr Wang two days ago, but promised to be here on time, your sisters will all be here as well. I will need your help to cook everything and we will buy a big cake, I'm not burning the house this time to cook one.”

“It wasn't me, Hakyeon was supposed to check the cake didn't burn,” protested Leo.

“I was just passing by, Shikkie was the one who fell asleep instead of checking it!” Screamed N on the phone.

“Hakyeon? It's been so long since I talked to you,” exclaimed his mother. “My daughter and I saw your latest movie, you looked so handsome with your hair black.”

Leo had left his phone on speakers at this point, his mother fangirling like a teen over his friend's movie as everyone laughed at her energetic cheers.

“I miss your baking, Mrs Jung!” Interrupted Hyuk from the right.

“Hyukie, I miss baking for you as well. Maybe I can cook some goodies for you so Taekwoon can bring them to you. You can ask me anything you want.”

“Can I ask some cinnamon rolls, please?” Screamed Ken.

“Of course! It's been a while since I last made some, but I will gladly, Jaehwan. Are you all eating well? Maybe I interrupted as you had breakfast?”

“Not at all!”

As Hongbin took his turn to speak to his mother, Leo picked the member's dirty mugs and plates and brought them to the kitchen, rejoicing on the dishwasher they had finally installed at everyone's laziness.

“It's fine, we made sure he is eating fine, though he keeps complaining about the coffee every single morning.” Came the subtle insult from the dinning room as he was finished entering the program on the machine.

“I wouldn't complain if it tasted as it promised, but whoever made it obviously didn't try their product or never tried coffee,” complained Leo as he entered the room.

“It's not even that bad, Taekwoon,” said Ravi.

A shiver run down his spine. After those couple of weeks together, Ravi had gotten used to drop the honorific of his name, which didn't go unnoticed by the members at the time, who kept sending stares to Ravi, more in surprise than anything. Surprised, most likely, at Leo being perfectly fine with the disrespectful act, when he would scoff at their maknae trying to pull the same thing on him.

Leo glared at Ravi as he was pushed down on Ken's lap, the young boy sitting right in front of him from his position in there.

“Shikkie!” Scolded N. “What has gotten into you lately? Stop dropping the ‘hyung’. I swear those troublesome kids. Scold him as well, auntie,” said to his mother.

“It's fine,” laughed her loudly. “I'm fine with Wonsik calling my Taekwoon by his name as long as he is alright with it.”

“You're so amazing,” said Ravi with a loud laugh. “Then I will call you ‘mom’ as well from now on, if it's alright with you.”

Everyone laughed at him, his mother's laugh filling the line. Hyuk and Ken, who sat closer to Ravi, slapped him across each arm, Leo kicking him in the thigh as Ken didn't let him up.

“Oh my,” said Leo's mother then, faking surprise. “Calling me ‘mom’. I hope you take good care of my son if you're going to properly use it. Buy him the prettiest ring as well and call us for the ceremony. I never get tired of getting new sons-in-law.”

At her comment everyone cracked, tears running down their eyes as some hit the table, unable to hold their laugh. Except Leo, who sat with his back tense and averted his eyes when Ravi, still smiling, looked at him.

“I always take good care of my jagiya.”

Leo had thought he was tense until he heard the sweet word leave Ravi's lips. Until Ravi met his eyes, smile still adorning his beautiful face, with something shining on his eyes for the briefest second, making Leo bite his lips and close his eyes, blush high on his cheeks.

The call ended some minutes later, with Leo promising to be there and everyone warmly saying goodbye. Leo pushed off Ken’s lap once the call was finished, rushing to pick his phone and leave the room as his eyes started to burn.

“Where are you going, Daeguni?”

“Will talk to Sejun-nim to ask for some free days to spend with my family.”

“Ask him for some vacations. It's almost Christmas, we want to see them as well.”

Leo closed the dorm's doors after promising to do so and took the elevator, his head hitting the wall as the doors trapped him inside, letting out some shaky breaths. He put his hand over his chest, feeling his accelerated heart under the palm.

“Fucking Wonsik,” whispered Leo to no one.


	14. Chapter 14

“Taekwoon!”

His mother hugged him as soon as he opened the door, his sisters appearing after her and hugging him as well.

“Son,” said his father, once he entered the living room. “How have you been?”

His father hugged him as well, Leo getting some pats on the back and sincere smiles from his two oldest sisters’ husbands.

“Fine. I'm a little bit tired after all the schedule we went through, but I'm fine now I'm with you.”

“Aw, our baby!” Screamed his sister. “We have missed you so much! We all voted for you guys.”

“Which reminds me… What was that concept? I saw some Starlight tweet about you, I was laughing so hard. Wait, wait, I saved an edit!”

His sister sat next to him and started looking at her pictures, trying to find the edit between the hundreds of pictures of her son and husband.

“Pft,” cracked his other sister as she looked at the picture he was being shown.

On it, they had captured Leo dancing, jacket revealing his whole chest, caption referring to his exposed nipples.

“Oh wait, I have another one!”

The next one showed the jacket holding precariously closed by a single button, caption read “That one button that's keeping my life together”.

“You two, leave Taekwoon alone. You looked great, baby.”

Of course, his mother would believe he looked great with anything, even the questionable wardrobe he had wore during his latests promotions. She straightened his hair and left to the kitchen to bring some tea for him afterwards, time his sisters took to tease him again between laughs.

He had missed this, his sisters, his parents, his house… He had missed it all, so he sat there and took everything they offered, listening to their stories until it was already time for dinner.

***

“Have you met Monsta X, Taek?” Asked his sister as they cut peppers.

“Um, I don't think so. I believe I heard something about them.”

“They went through a surviving program like you did. Although they have become more cruel, the show was really intense. If you ever meet them get some signed album from them!”

“Why do you always ask me for albums? Shouldn't you buy them so you support the artist?”

“Don't be like that! Of course I want to support them, but signed albums are so expensive, and not all of us are successful idols.”

“I'm not really that successful.”

“Are you two fighting?” Asked his father as he entered the kitchen. “Oh, you're cutting peppers?” He took some of the ones that were already cut.

“Dad! Stop eating the food before we're finished!”

Leo laughed as his sister slapped his hand off the food, amused at his father running away from her, since he was just as tall as Leo himself, and had broad and muscled shoulders from training.

Leo had not grown much with his father's presence as he was a child, but the man had always been there to support him. He had learnt much from him, and although it wasn't something common, he had received as much affection from his mom as from his father, so he was really close to him as well.

Leo loved his family, they had always been really close to each other, sharing love and being a big tight family, never hiding anything from the other. And him, being the youngest, had always gotten everything he needed.

Once they were finished cooking, they had brought the food to the table, calling everyone to eat.

“I will eat well,” said everyone, except Minyul, who splashed food on his plate.

“Mom, how do you always manage to make this soup so tasty?”

It was already Sunday and they had prepared a big amount of food to celebrate his sister's birthday, his mother waking up soon to prepare her the traditional algae soup.

“I always add to it an extra dose of love,” she answered, small wrinkles adorning her face.

They finished their food and some of them sat on the living room with a plate of cake as they watched the news.

“I want,” screamed Minyul looking at Leo's cake.

“Is it alright for him to eat?” Leo asked, his sister nodding as she watched the two of them half sitting on her husband. “Open your mouth, Min,” said Leo as he put some of the cream on his spoon, making some noises as he gave it to the kid.

“This reminds me. You remember Sehee, my coworker?”

“The one that used to dye her hair a different colour every month?”

“Yeah, her. She's having a girl next spring.”

“Such good news, maybe you can pass her some old things from Minyul.”

“I thought so. She's having many problems with her family and she probably will need some help with the things for the kid. She had so many issues to get pregnant, she had to go to America.”

“Oh, that's so sad… Did he have any problem? Are they both alright now?”

“Oh, no! Sehee’s partner is a woman. Her parents wouldn't support her on her relationship and encountered some problems with some institutions here, so she just decided to go abroad.”

“I hope everything goes well with the kid. Maybe we can bake them something once the girl is born?”

“You mean mom will bake something for them, right?” Laughed his sister.

Leo knew his family was quite open minded, but found himself still surprised at the way the conversation developed. Unknowingly, something inside of him had relaxed, making him smile.

***

Leo had checked his messages before getting ready for sleep, his family telling him not to go late to sleep as they excused themselves to bed.

Leo finished answering his friends and opened the VIXX chat to check on his members, frowning at the ridiculous names that showed on the screen, someone having changed the names before he had left.

Black Tea: I miss you all!  
Dimples: I don't.  
Man/Baby: Bean hyung, don't be so rude to mom!  
Man/Baby: Mom, I miss you too!  
Man/Baby: *picture*  
Man/Baby: It's snowing here :)  
Black Tea: Aw! I knew my Hyokkie loved me~  
Black Tea: You should learn from your younger brother, Hongbin.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: LOL, #rejected  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: N hyung is mine.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Hyuk, it's snowing everywhere ;-;  
Man/Baby: Yeah hyung, but it's so pretty in here.  
Man/Baby: Is my picture pretty, Hongbin?  
Black Tea: It is beautiful, Hyokkie~  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Is it prettier than me?  
Black Tea: I didn't know you were pretty, Jaehwanie?  
Black Tea: I thought you were sexy *wink*.  
Man/Baby: My picture is way prettier that you, Ken hyung, wdym?  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: I'm also sexy.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: But I'm pretty.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Isn't Kenjumma pretty? O.O  
Dimples: Yeah, Hyuk, the picture is good.  
Dimples: I took this pictures yesterday as well.  
Dimples: *picture*  
Dimples: *picture*  
Dimples: *picture*  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Hyuk, wdym I'm not the prettiest???  
Black Tea: How could we forget about Kenjumma?  
Black Tea: Of course you're the prettiest among the kingdom, Jaehwanie <3  
Man/Baby: I'm so envious, hyung!  
Man/Baby: Your pictures are so pretty!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: You're not bad yourself, Njumma <3  
Leo's Jagiya: Can you two find a room already?

Leo almost dropped his phone as he read Ravi's username. He would make sure to strangle Ken as soon as he arrived at the dorm, that brat, changing the names on his phone without him noticing…

He pressed a hand to his chest, staring at the nickname with his heart beating faster than before, before continuing reading.

Black Tea: Shikkie!  
Black Tea: Rude Shikkie…  
Black Tea: But Shikkie!  
Dimples: o///o Thanks, Hyuk.  
Dimples: I will give you some more lessons when we come back to the dorm :)  
Dimples: Although you're probably the best among the members.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Who says we haven't found a room already, Ravi?  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: *picture*  
Black Tea: LEE JAEHWAN!  
Black Tea: HOW COULD YOU EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT?  
Black Tea: When did you even take that picture?  
Black Tea: I look hot. I'm saving it.  
Man/Baby: ^-^ yay, thanks hyung~.  
Man/Baby: Is that N hyung naked???  
Man/Baby: Why?????  
Dimples: That's something I didn't need to see.  
Dimples: Really, Ken -_-  
Dimples: I'm leaving, bye.  
Man/Baby: Hey, no! Don't leave me here alone, Bean hyung!  
Man/Baby: I'm leaving as well.  
Black Tea: N-nyeong~  
Man/Baby: Stop that already, hyung, you're too old for that.  
Man/Baby: Bye!  
Black Tea: Old?????  
Leo's Jagiya: I didn't know you were that fit on your back, N hyung.  
Leo's Jagiya: LOL, Ken hyung, why do you have that picture?  
Leo's Jagiya: Bye Kong, Hyuk!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: I told you.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: We already found that room.  
Black Tea: Ken, shut up!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Njumma is my wife.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: We're happily in love <3  
Black Tea: Jaehwaaaaan! Shut up, LOL!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Don't hide our love, Hakyeon. The kids should know <3  
Black Tea: LOL. I miss you all, really :’(  
Black Tea: I didn't get to go see my family.  
Black Tea: The dorm is boring when there's no one to annoy.  
Leo's Jagiya: I will go keep you company, N hyung *wink*  
Leo's Jagiya: Forget about Ken hyung. I'm younger and more handsome.  
Black Tea: And you have abs!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Ravi, are you trying to be unfaithful to Leo hyung?  
Leo's Jagiya: LOL???  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: You told Auntie you were going to take good care of Leo hyung!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Leave my wife alone!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: LOL, he will kill me when he sees I changed the names on his phone XD.  
Black Tea: What did you change mine to? XD  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Black Tea  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: You know, because you're Cha, and you're tanned.  
Black Tea: -_-  
Black Tea: Nvm, Shikkie.  
Black Tea: Come take care of me on the dorm.  
Black Tea: I'm filing the divorce with Ken.  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Wait! Hyung!  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: I will go now beg for forgiveness to my wife~  
Favourite cute main vocal Ken: Bye~ Leo hyung, don't kill me~  
Leo's Jagiya: LOL!  
Leo's Jagiya: I will go right now, hyung *wink*

Leo ignored the pang of pain on his chest at the flirty tone of the messages, blocking the phone and going silently to his room, closing the door and laying on his bed.

Unfortunately, sleep didn't come easily and in his boredom he started to get aroused, frowning as his inopportune boner and trying to ignore it. But as he pretended to ignore it he kept going back to the conversation he had just read, to the nickname Ken had saved on his phone, to the past couple of weeks, to before promotions started.

Be it because he had been busy, or because he had been mopping around feeling like shit, Leo hadn't touched himself since the day before Ravi and him had started their thing, probably around two months ago.

Leo tried to masturbate without thinking of Ravi, but gave up after eight minutes of his friend intruding every single fantasy his mind tried to come up with. And so, pushing his hand down his chest he closed his fist around himself, pretending it was the other man's hand instead of his.

“Fuck,” Leo whispered almost twenty minutes later, still hard.

He had been unable to cum, reaching but not being able to finish, sighing in frustration. He kicked the covers off his body and pushed his pajama pants along with his underwear down to his ankles, hand returning to its pace.

“Fuck it,” whispered Leo again.

No matter what, his body refused him what he needed, needing something else. Something…

With a sigh Leo closed his eyes in the darkness, wondering if he really was doing it, still no other idea came to his mind but that one, so with yet another sigh he pushed his finger down, resting on his aperture, relaxing his body for what was to come, and remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this randomness was. Next chapter (hopefully) will make up for everyone ^-^ I will try to upload it this 6th!


	15. Chapter 15

Leo remembered that particular night, two days before promotions started.

Leo still remembered it as if it were happening right now, the fingers of his other hand traveling softly down his own body, like Ravi's had, lost in the fantasy.

Ravi had, by that time, stuffed his studio with some furniture, adding a small but spacious sofa where Leo was resting at the time, kissing the owner of the place deeply, both panting as they separated.

Ravi had looked at Leo with a look that sent shivers down the oldest’s body as he worked on his clothes to expose the pale and flushed skin, long digits caressing every inch they revealed. He had teased the hard nipples with his fingers and his tongue, biting on one just to hear the other suck in air in desperation, nibbling the skin of his stomach and soothing the treatment away with small kisses.

“Don't leave marks,” had warned Leo in between gasps.

The clothing he was wearing the next couple of weeks was too revealing to let Ravi mark him as he pleased, and Leo bruised easily, marks contrasting vividly on his too pale skin.

That hadn't stopped Ravi from leaving marks on him. He would, as he was now, spread the other’s legs to rest on each side of his shoulders and attack the muscled thighs with bites until he could see purple peek from under the teeth’s mark.

Ravi had no care at all when he was focused on a task and, quickly, clothes were scattered all around the small room, Ravi's clothes following quick after all of Leo's were removed, skin against skin, all the initial awkwardness long forgotten.

Leo was trying to contain his voice as another bite was delivered almost at the junction of his hip and thigh, hard member too close to Ravi's mouth already crying for attention. But that talented mouth didn't travel were he wanted it, separating from the hot skin completely.

Leo looked up, eyes half closed and lips parted, confusion shining on the dark eyes.

“Do you trust me?” Had asked Ravi.

Leo stared at those eyes that looked back at him with an intensity that sent tremors down his spine, a thumb starting to draw small circles on the inside of his thigh distractedly.

“Yes,” he had answered finally, eyes locking with the other's for a long second.

Ravi had smiled, not a happy nor sensual smile, but a dark one. One that promised many things Leo didn't want to acknowledge, his heart picking its pace traitorously and a pain shooting on his chest, an oppression he knew he shouldn't have let appear in the first place, but that he knew it would not disappear easily, if ever.

Ravi had looked straight at his eyes with mischief as he put his index to Leo's parted lips, pressing in slightly so Leo knew what he wanted. He had opened his mouth, finger pushing only midway, pressing down on his tongue.

He met the finger, tongue curling around it as he had previously done around Ravi's pulsing member, mimicking the same motions, lapping and sucking on it while their eyes kept locked but for the short stares Ravi directed at the finger disappearing past his lips.

The other man's hand rested on his jaw, stopping the bobbing Leo had done to suck the rest of the finger in, eyes closing with abandon. He felt the finger move on its own past his lips, the other hand pressing his head down on the mattress, and the softest growl left his throat, reverberating around the digit, as it pushed in and out as it pleased.

“Taekwoon,” moaned Ravi in a low voice. “We're both going to hell.”

His words matched his actions as he kept fucking the lips of the other, and Leo had to admit to himself he wouldn't mind his stance in hell if it meant he would have the opportunity to do this with Ravi for an eternity.

Finally, the index came out of his mouth, wet popping sound following it.

Leo saw Ravi eye his lips as if wondering if to kiss them or not, in the end averting his eyes down to his aching dick, smile appearing as he placed the wet finger on his navel.

“What are you doing?” Asked Leo then, as the finger started to slide down, leaving a cold sensation on his feverish skin.

“Appreciating.”

With that word being whispered on his skin, Ravi continued his path down his body, finger tracing a line all the way to the base of his member.

“Wonsik,” had called Leo as he felt the finger move up his dick, keeping the slow and torturous path up to his sensitive head, where it pressed down on his slit, dragging a cry from him.

He had expected the finger to retreat, Ravi's plush lips to engulf his head and suck on it lightly, teasing him at first, as he now knew Ravi liked to suck him. Instead, the finger moved down his head, spreading the precum it had collected on top, down the other side of the base, following the pulsating vein that was carrying blood frantically.

Perspiration had covered Leo's body, his breaths coming in and out erratically as he contained the sounds he wanted to voice.

Leo had noticed, as they kept touching and exploring each other's bodies, how Ravi wasn't really vocal during sex. He would every once in a while moan his name or praise him when he was pleased at something he did, usually when Leo was going down on him, pushing him in all the way down to the base, as he hummed happily around the hot member, trying to find his eyes. Only then would Ravi lose it and become really vocal, calling his name as if it would ground him, hand fisting on his hair as he released himself, Leo swallowing around him.

Ravi, never stopping for a second to let Leo properly breathe, pressed softly on the base of his cock as his finger curved to follow down his testicles, soft touches driving him crazy as his breaths accelerated even more, if possible, the older almost hyperventilating at the oversensitivity.

Girls didn't seem very interested in testicles, the ones that did being almost too rough on the sensitive area. But Ravi knew exactly how much pressure he had to put under his finger to be on the verge of painful, yet too soft. That didn't stop Leo from sucking hard as that evil finger pushed down and down, to places Leo was sure no other person had ever touched before.

Ravi's finger stopped for a second, Leo frantically looking at the young man, begging with his eyes to do something with them, hips moving on their own as he tried to press his body down on that single point, getting frustrated as it kept retreating away from his insistent, needy body.

His finger had backed every single time Leo had tried to push against it, eventually his body giving up and falling on the mattress with loud pants escaping his mouth.

He laid there, legs spread on each side of Ravi, chest rising fast and getting cold from his sweat drying on his skin. Eyes closed and hands relaxing on the blanket they had laid over the sofa not to dirty it with their activities.

“Open your eyes,” came the commanding voice of Ravi. “Look at me.”

Leo opened his tired eyes and zeroed on Ravi. He could see the other man breathing almost as fast as Leo was, although he looked concentrated and calm, eyes going back from Leo's eyes to where his hand connected with the other's body. Leo could also see just how hard Ravi was, so hard just from seeing Leo moan his name and arch his body towards him wantonly, needing its touch.

Leo moaned once more, voice hoarse from his vocal activities for the past half an hour, making him wonder for the shortest moment if it was alright to force his voice that much right before promotions.

All thoughts were silenced as he felt that finger move the barest millimeter over his skin, Leo already opening his mouth to instinctively moan Ravi's name.

“Won–”

He wasn't able to finish the name as Ravi pressed that index Leo was starting to love and hate hard against his perineum.

Leo opened his eyes in surprise, closing them tightly right after as his back curved, bowing off the sofa, hips pressing harder against the finger from the movement, hands closing on the blanket with enough force to almost rip it, lips parting just to scream.

He felt his cock spurt, not enough to have orgasmed already, more like trying to but being stopped in the last moment.

His back hit the hard surface with a muffled sound, head lolling to one side and then the other, body wanting to relax but not being able to, since his arousal still ached between his legs.

“Open your eyes,” repeated Ravi, this time softer, probably understanding Leo was too gone right now.

“I can't,” he was finally able to pant.

Unseen by Leo, Ravi closed his eyes in pleasure. Leo was a sight he doubted would leave his mind for a long time, biting his lips and panting hard, eyes unable to open in arousal. He was the definition of sin, splayed open like that, his name leaving his lips without him even noticing he was doing so.

His dick was so dark and tempting, Ravi just wanted to make him cum to hear those beautiful sounds that came out of his hyung.

Ravi had found those past two weeks what a box of surprises Leo really was, enjoying everything Ravi had to offer, even if Ravi himself hadn't intended it to be enjoyable, surprising himself as he enjoyed repeating it just to watch his expression turn delectable.

He looked at the tired and blessed look on Leo's face, wondering just how accepting his friend would be on everything Ravi wanted to give.

Leo laid on the sofa with his eyes still closed trying to calm his breathing and failing. He wanted to open them, watch Ravi as the other got pleasured as well, but he felt too weak at that hand still pressing lightly against his skin, that hand that moved slowly down…

Leo tensed. He wasn't trying to, but he did on instinct, Ravi's finger stopping as soon as he sensed the hesitation.

Leo finally opened his eyes, as if waking up from a dream, and met Ravi, who looked straight at him, cheeks flushed even through the natural tan and eyebrows pinched slightly in an emotion Leo was unable to identify.

“Is this alright?” Asked Ravi.

Was it alright? Leo asked himself the same question. Was it alright to let him continue? That he didn't know, none of that was alright from the beginning, yet here they were, risking more than they wanted to acknowledge.

“Is it alright?” Asked Leo to himself, no words leaving his lips, that were parted to breathe. “It is not wrong,” said a voice inside him.

And he knew it wasn't. Because it was with Ravi. Ravi, who took care of him silently since before debut. Ravi, who always suggested to thank Leo for the work he did to help them. Ravi, who had more than once carried him when he was tired, who helped him cook even if he hadn't asked, who was always there for him and never judged the extremely quiet boy, protecting him when the rest of the members complained he had to speak more. Ravi, who had always supported him and sacrificed his own time when Leo was too shy to go alone to present his own music, always by his side without asking back for a thing.

Ravi watched as Leo wondered just how fucked up things could get. He wasn't stupid, he knew just how much he was trying things, he knew he could be a step away from screwing everything that had happened for half a decade between them, from way before they were pushed together on a surviving show, when both of them were still teens going to practice at the same agency. He knew, but he also could see some decision on Leo's eyes.

Leo looked at him, eyes meeting as he nodded and Ravi left out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

With Leo's eyes on him he slowly and carefully pushed down to the other boy's entrance, noticing him tensing once again, letting a shaky sigh out and forcing himself to relax.

It wasn't like Leo didn't trust Ravi, but his own body forced him to tense as he was touched on that unexplored area.

Leo had never been too curious to wander there as he masturbated, even less since he shared a house with another five boys and a man that appeared and disappeared constantly unannounced. Actually, Leo had believed for a really long time he was a simple vanilla type man, until Ravi pushed himself in on that part of his life and taught him just how wrong he was about himself.

Reading about the matter and watching a couple of fake pornos could have never prepared him for the mixed feelings that single, completely overlooked, place made him have.

Leo wanted to close his legs and push Ravi off him, but he also wanted to push him towards him and smash their bodies together and bring both to climax. He wanted to push away from the finger that simply rested on him, not pressing in or moving, simply letting him get used to the alien feeling; yet, at the same time, he wanted to push up against the digit and bury it as far inside of him as possible, wanting to feel as good as those boys on the awful movie he had played once made it look.

Instead, he stood still, waiting for Ravi to make a move and know what he had to get ready for.

“Are you gonna fuck me already?”

Leo had waited patiently for Ravi to make a move, but the young boy seemed frozen, staring at his naked butt and painfully hard dick, with his finger barely touching him, for what seemed almost five minutes.

Ravi looked up at him, a look of confusion adorning his face, before snapping back to reality and then, Leo almost whished he had shut up as the finger pressed, lightly but insistently, against his entrance, his body tensing once again at the feeling.

He breathed through his nose and pushed the air out of his mouth, forcing his muscles to relax at the intrusion, Ravi's finger stopping at the tight ring of muscle as he buried himself to the first knuckle.

“Is this still alright?” Leo frowned at the stupid question, nodding at him. “Alright, relax now, you're doing well.”

With the words, came Ravi's lips on the inside of his knee, free hand caressing his thigh and stomach as he carefully wiggled his finger inside of him.

Leo breathed hard, relaxing as much as possible and feeling the digit very slowly make its way inside his body, not painful but weird. Really weird. His body tried to resist against the intrusion, but Ravi kept pushing slowly in, millimeter by millimeter making its way inside the other's hot body.

“Fuck,” cursed Leo as he felt the last knuckle hit the entrance, Ravi finally inside of him. “Fuck.”

“You're so fucking tight. Taekwoon,” moaned Ravi.

“Wait,” he groaned. “Don't move.”

“It's alright, I won't hurt you.”

“It's not–” Leo's voice got interrupted as Ravi, who had pushed the finger almost all the way out of him, pushed back in in a single move. “Fuck, Wonsik.”

Leo didn't groan in pain, he was just trying not to cum before he had the opportunity to enjoy the dexterous fingers of his friend.

“Taekwoon,” moaned Ravi again, surprisingly vocal.

The younger bent himself carefully over the man to clash their lips together, Leo cutting his lip with the impact, but none of them cared as their tongues curled against each other, Ravi's tongue fucking Leo's mouth at the same pace his finger moved in and out of him, the temperature of the room raising notoriously as the only sounds coming from the two of them were muffled moans and groans and the other's name on their lips.

When Ravi separated from his mouth, Leo finally threw his head back in a silent scream, Ravi's mouth closing around his oversensitive head and sucking so lightly it made his heart skip a beat, finger’s movement picking its pace quickly as he bobbed his head up and down.

Leo couldn't even think at that point, being fucked as he was, he didn't even have strength to scream as he came, collapsing against the sofa as his legs slid slowly down, Ravi's finger barely raising a whimper out of him as it left his insides, Ravi falling half off half on top of Leo.

“You're too heavy,” complained Leo, pushing Ravi more to the right.

Once both of them had been positioned so both could breathe properly, Leo had slid his hand down to Ravi's member, trying to return the favour, only to find him already soft.

“I already came,” was all he said.

Leo regretted not being able to tease the other, but curled against his warm body and stayed there way after their bodies dried and got cold, not wanting to move ever again.

That had been, as a matter of fact, the last time Ravi and him had the opportunity to hide together on the studio and wander each other's bodies freely.


	16. Chapter 16

Leo woke up the next morning almost at midday, later than he would normally. He could still feel the pleasure wash over his body from that night's orgasm. His body, which was completely unused to such ministrations, felt slightly odd, although he didn't hurt anywhere exactly.

After getting dressed and brushing his teeth he went to the living room, where only the youngest among his older sisters and mother sat watching an old drama.

“Good morning, bro,” saluted his sister, eyes glued to the TV.

“Morning,” he mumbled, still half asleep.

Both women and him stayed silent, watching the cringy scene develop, which didn't stop them from screaming as the boy proposed to the woman.

“Hey, Taekwoon.”

“Mhmm?” Answered Leo distracted as he kept watching the scene develop.

“Is there a reason why I heard you moan Ravi's name yesterday?”

Leo, who had been drinking some coffee his mother had brought him, choked and spit the contents as he started to cough to try to clean his lungs.

“What did you–? What?”

“You know, because the walls aren't very thick, I might have heard you last night. And trust me, as amused as I was at you trying to keep quiet, you weren't very good at it.” She sent him a mischievous grin. “Now, care to explain?”

“I don't… know what you're talking about.”

“Come on, Taekwoonie, we're not stupid. Your sisters and I both keep an eye on your broadcasts, your interviews and we talk to you all the time.”

“Mom?”

Leo had started to panic. Uh, no. It couldn't be his family was ambushing him like that. There was no way his family had known even before him. When had Leo even realised he shared more than friendly feelings towards Ravi, anyways? Hadn't it been a little bit sooner than the MV recording? Maybe during promotions for LR?

“What? You thought we wouldn't notice? I'm your mother, Taekwoon, I gave birth to you, I raised you. I know you more than I know myself, and I'm fine with it. You're my son, I would never look at you with anything but love just because you love a woman or you love a man.”

“Mom, I…”

His mother looked at him with the sweetest smile, his sister was shaking her head, amusement showing on her face. But it was in acceptance. And although he had really known his family was really okay with it happening to people they knew, it was different when it happened on your own home.

Besides, even if he had expected acceptance, he would have never imagined the amount of love and happiness they showed. He had expected maybe a shrug and them trying to deal with it.

“I already told Wonsik, didn't I?” Said her. “I do never get tired of getting new sons-in-law.”

“Oh, come here, crybaby.” His sister had pushed him to the sofa and both women hugged him by each side. “Now, will you spill the beans?”

“I–” started Leo. “I don't know. I just noticed a while ago, I guess. But then…” Leo brushed furiously the tear that had fallen from his eye. “Wonsik. He just wants to have some fun. He is not, he doesn't think of me like that.”

“But you two have been together?”

Leo looked as his mother. He knew she was curious, loved gossip and followed many famous people's life. But he was her son.

“Mom,” he complained.

“Stop pretending to be innocent and tell us. Did you two fuck?”

“Oh my,” cracked her mother. “Don't be that crude, this is your baby brother.”

“Yeah mom, my baby brother who was in a hot relationship with his really sexy friend. Excuse me, but don't leave anything out of the story.”

“It was not like that!” His sister just raised her eyebrow, in a gesture Leo used to do himself. “We didn't ‘fuck’. He kind of just–”

“Should I buy you two condons and lube? You know, I might be fine with you loving a man, but please, do have safe sex, okay?”

“Mom! They're probably as clean as new. Probably they have gotten tests for everything already. But do always use lube, you're too soft for pain.”

“We're not having sex!” Said Leo, in what might have been considered a loud voice. “He isn't gay. He was bored and I was free. He doesn't love me.” His voice cracked at the end.

“You have to be mistaken, though. There's no way Wonsik doesn't love you.”

“Yeah, he does look at you with such tenderness. I would probably combust if a man looked at me the way he looks at you. Are you sure he doesn't feel anything?”

“Of course I'm sure.”

“Have you asked him?”

“Ask what, mom? ‘Hey Wonsik, do you maybe love me?’? You think that would go well?”

“Well, but are you sure sure?”

“Yes–” At his mother's frown Leo looked back at the past time with Ravi. “Yes?”

“You need to check. Go to the dorm, talk to him!” Rushed him his sister. “Come on, we need to know. I mean, you need to know.”

“Yes, go find out. Who knows, maybe you were mistaken and you two end up together. Just tell me if it happens, I will send you some condoms and the like as a present.”

“Mom, please, don't.”

Groaning still, Leo was pushed to the entrance and outside, the two women smiling like demons and wishing him luck, his cheeks still hot from the conversation he just had with them.

Since he was already out he guessed it wouldn't be too hard to at least go back to the dorm, check on Ravi and N. The past night's chat conversation revealed the rest of the members were still spending their time with their families, so it would be easier to talk to them.

The underground didn't leave him far away from their apartment, short walk to the dorm. As Leo walked the remaining metres, he kept thinking about what the two women had told him. Had he been so oblivious to his own feelings for such a long while? He had just understood his own feelings less than a month ago and didn't even know when they had started to morph into that monster that ate him alive.

Leo sighed in frustration at himself as the doors of the elevator opened on the last floor.

“Hello,” greeted Leo with his soft voice as he closed the door.

Leo had expected N to jump on him excitedly for visiting them, especially after having spent a couple of days alone with no one to talk to and scream or hug.

“Maybe they went out to eat. Maybe Ravi's on his studio and has his music so loud he hasn't heard a thing.” Leo remembered thinking as he took his shoes off and left them on the entrance.

He checked on the kitchen first, watching the unwashed dishes of the day still on the dinning room. The living room was clean of noisy members too and he headed out to the second floor, but he never reached the stairs.

As he was walking in front of N’s door a muffled cry stopped him. He looked at the door, just to make sure he hadn't misheard, but just as he was about to walk past a loud cry was heard on the other side of the door.

Leo's heart jumped on his chest, worried for a second something had happened to N, for the voice belonged to VIXX’s leader, his body moving on autopilot as he went to open the door of the room, his hand grasping the knob and starting to push it down when the following noise stopped him once again.

He hadn't been mistaken, the voice belonged to N, but the noise that came from the other side were not of pain as Leo had thought at first, but of pleasure. On the other side of the door, his friend was moaning, Leo suddenly aware of all the noises that accompanied the cries. The moans, the breaths, the sound of skin slapping against skin…

Leo felt a pain stab him right under his chest, with such a force he felt his knees fail him and he had to let the knob off in order to hold against the wall at the other side of the room, head hitting against it with a loud thud.

He couldn't breathe.

He didn't realise he had started to cry until he couldn't see what was in front of him, grasping for his own chest as the pain extended and grew, as if someone had just dropped a piano on his chest.

“Yes,” screamed N from the other side, to whatever his companion had done to him.

His companion.

Fucking Wonsik.

“It’s over.” That cruel voice inside his head whispered seductively. “I got bored of you.”

The voice on his head belonged to Ravi. Although the man had never said those words to him, his own head repeated them to him for weeks until he had managed to mute it most of the time. He learnt to ignore it as Ravi smiled at him politely, asking to pass him something on the table, deliberately avoiding touching his fingers. And when that happened, when those small actions kept happening in front of him, the vicious voice whispering once again those same cruel words, he had pretended he was alright, it didn't affect him, that his chest didn't feel oppressed, that his heart hadn't stopped beating for a second because it had anticipated his fingers on him.

Leo was pathetic.

That's all he could think of. “You're pathetic.” As he stood up only because the wall kept his weight up, hearing the voices reach the other side, reach his ears. Except it was a single voice. N’s. Because he knew –he had learnt– Ravi liked to keep quiet during sex. Because he had had to drag his moans being bold and surprising the other.

“Deeper!” Came N’s voice, so loud he was sure it could have been heard on the whole block. “Fuck me deeper, yes.”

His legs gave up, another loud scream muting the sound his body did as it slumped on the floor, his hands flying to his mouth to silence the sob that had just left his lips.

“You need to get out from here. You need to leave before they find your pitiful self here.” Said the same vicious voice that had tormented him for so long.

“But I can't. I can't move. Can't feel my legs. Can't feel my body.” Answered back Leo to that voice, questioning to himself if he had gone completely mad, speaking to himself as he tried to make his brain send orders to his body to stand up and leave. “Can't feel but pain.”

He was being dragged into a dark hole by invisible hands but he knew he had to stand up and leave. He couldn't let himself be seen. He couldn't let them see him being this disgusting mess. Even N would laugh at his pathetic state. “You fell for Shikkie?” He could hear him laugh already in disbelief. “Are you stupid, Leo? It's just sex.”

Just sex. He should have remembered himself it wasn't real, he should have turned his head away when the first kiss came, keep it practical, suck the other's dick and clap him on the back before picking his clothes and leave.

How had him listened to his mother and sister? They were like him, romantic dreamers that wanted to believe all stories ended well, but life was a bitch and wouldn't spare any of them. He should have gotten the memo, Ravi was a horny young man, famous enough to be recognised by many and too busy to find someone that wasn't with him because he was an idol. What better option but to get laid a couple of times with your members, who were just as young and horny, and mostly on the same situation?

And Leo knew Ravi should have gone to N, who would not make a big deal of one night. Ravi had gone to him, though, he’d had fun with him, but Leo didn't do more than suck his dick and be amusing. He would never be able to beg anyone to fuck him “deeper” if he had clamped on a single fucking finger up his arse.

“Move now. Now!” Screamed the voice inside him.

He suddenly heard low voices coming from inside N’s room, something dropping as he heard steps moving towards him.

He stumbled on his feet, walking as fast and silent as he could to the entrance, turning on the corner just as the door opened, barefoot member walking out.

“You fucking beast. I better be able to walk without a limp tomorrow when everyone comes home, and they better not notice a thing, or I will fuck you raw next time.” Leo had managed to open the door as he heard N shouting. “Now you better come to the shower take care of the boner I'm about to have.”

Leo heard some laugh as he closed the door, not wanting to hear more. Not sure if he could listen to more.

He punched the button on the elevator, sliding to the floor as he saw them closing, sitting there all the way until they opened back, getting out of the building as it started to rain.

He run, rain soaking his clothes. Run past the entrance of the underground, sight disturbed as droplets kept falling to his eyes, mixing with the tears forming there. Run past the neighborhoods in a blur, not thinking, but letting his body guide him home.

He fell against his home’s door, finding the keys and opening the door, walking past his sister, who had gotten out probably to ask him how things had gone. Past his father, who sat confused looking as his son walked with his wet clothes, leaving stains on the floor with the muddy shoes he hadn't taken off, looking at his wife, who shook her head not to tell him a thing as she saw him disappear on his room.

He threw himself on his bed, jacket and shoes on, put the covers up and hid under them, and cried, cried without a care for his concerned family hearing him, cried until he was too tired and fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

“Taekwoon, honey, didn't you have to return to the dorm?” Asked his mother from the other side of the door.

Leo was laying on his bed still dressed in the same clothes he had put yesterday on before leaving, the shoes having been kicked to a corner later that day.

As soon as he had reached home he had disappeared inside his room, spending the rest of the day sleeping or crying and, generally, being useless, instead of spending the precious time he had left with his family with them, enjoying his father's stories about having fished a huge fish, which was probably a lie since his father sucked at fishing, his sister telling him about her work, his mother baking some sweets for his friends. He could have enjoyed all of it, but he didn't, because he could feel an empty space on his chest where yesterday he could only feel pain.

He was empty. Too tired of hiding his feelings even to himself. He scoffed at himself. “You say you don't remember when you fell for Wonsik,” said the cruel voice inside of him. “Liar. You know exactly when, don't you?”

Leo knew. He had known but ignored it when it was still bearable. Many years back, starting with Ravi going to him to look for his opinion.

“Hyung, can I ask you something?” Had said Ravi that afternoon.

“Mhmm? What is it, Wonsik?”

“Could you give me your opinion on this?” Some headphones had been shoved his way, a look of fear on Ravi's eyes as he took them and stared at them with an eyebrow raised.

“Sure,” has said Leo back then, having sensed the other's nervousness.

As soon as the music had played he had listened carefully to what came from the auriculars, realising pretty late the voice that sang in such a sweet voice was actually Ravi's.

He had been surprised, but greatly surprised. Ravi wasn't a main vocal material, that was pretty clear, but he had a soft voice that was enchanting, charming enough to keep listening as it grew on you. Leo’d had the misfortune of singing in a karaoke with the whole VIXX, and it wasn't an experience he was tempted to repeat ever again, every single one of them ignoring tempos, notes and proper singing. This audio, on the contrary, was such a vivid contrast to anything Leo would have associated to the young rapper, he stayed there silently listening to the lively melody and the the lyrics that hid a beautiful message, that sweet voice lulling him.

“How was it?” Asked Ravi, impatient as ever, once Leo had taken the headphones off.

“It was sweet.”

Leo had seen Ravi stare at him in confusion, a difficult expression crossing his face before it settled on one of embarrassment. The young boy had asked him what he meant by that, but Leo had been too embarrassed himself to explain, shrugging at the question and jumping on the critic.

The two of them had ended on the studio hours later, fixing the melody to suit the other boys’ registers, Ravi blushing more than Leo remembered having seen him do in the year the two had been together as a group.

Leo had spent years lying to himself after that, pretending what had happened that day was admiration for his hard working friend and not the beginning of his end. He had gone through a lot during those past two years since he had listened to Ravi sing like that. The next time Ravi showed him something he had composed, he brought a paper with the lyrics and explained how they fit, that sweet voice never being heard again.

“Taek!” His sister's screams took him back to the present day. “N called asking where in hell you were, everyone's already there and they're hungry. Go back to them and bring the sweets mom made for you!”

Leo had to move, had to get dressed and head back to the dorm, but he doubted he had any strength left on his legs.

After his mother had threatened to drag him personally to the dorm, though, he had put himself in motion. He stripped from his clothes and took a shower to warm his numb body, which had been colder than he had realised, the warm water scalding him. Once he was dressed and had taken the bag with his clothes and the sweets, having told his family goodbye, he headed out, having called a taxi, not wanting to destroy the goodies his mother had prepared for them tripping on the way home or scattering on the underground.

“Leo hyung! Are those sweets?” Screamed Hyuk as soon as he opened the door.

Leo passed them the sweets, watching as everyone jumped on the food as he walked to leave his bag by the laundry, his phone secured on his pocket, along with his wallet.

“Hey hyung, you don't want to eat some?” Asked Hongbin with his face stuffed with chocolate.

“He probably already ate many of those at home. Ravi, that's my cinnamon roll, you better get your paws off it!” Screamed Ken, slapping the man's hand away from the delicate roll.

Leo stood there, looking at everyone eating and chatting happily about their short vacations, Hongbin showing them pictures at Hyuk's request, none of them noticing him stand there silently, numbness starting to fade to give way to a dull ache that would surely grow as he spent time on the dorm.

He sighed, turning his back against everyone and walking out without a word, leaving the chatting men alone.

“Wait, Taekwoon.” N’s hand had closed around his wrist, stopping him with a huge smile on his beautiful face. “Aren't you going to tell us about your–”

Leo had tensed as soon as the hand fell on him. His brain wasn't being rational at the moment. Leo shook N’s hand away from him with enough force to shut their happy leader, everyone's eyes turning towards them as N looked at Leo with a look of surprise and hurt on his eyes.

He didn't say a word. He just turned, no hand stopping him this time, walking to his room accompanied by the silence that had fallen upon the other members, who looked at each other worriedly.

Leo just spent the whole day on his room and when Hongbin had knocked on the door to ask him if he wasn't eating anything he had pretended to be asleep.

“Hakyeon, I'm sure it's nothing personal, he has been ignoring all of us. Who knows what's going on his head. Don't think too much of it, go talk to him.”

“I can't,” said N in the soft voice he used when he was hurt. “He hates me. I saw it on his eyes, Jaehwan.”

“Leo loves you, and so does the rest of the members. We act like arseholes all the time, but we would be completely lost without you. Come on, he hasn't gotten out in the whole day.”

“I can't. I just can't.”

Leo felt like the worst person when he heard the leader’s sob as he walked down the stairs. It hadn't been his intention to let him think he hated him. Ken was right, without N, VIXX would be lost. N kept them together with his laugher and neck chops. He was hurting and he hurt one of the people he loved the most. He was the worst person ever.

Leo heard the hesitant step towards his door before Ken retreated down, probably to sleep, since it was late in the night.

When everyone woke up, Leo had long left the dorm.


	18. Chapter 18

“Is he not in the dorm?” Asked N, worried sick.

“We looked for him. He isn't here. Wait, let me call him,” said Hongbin, already dialing his number.

Everyone was startled when a phone started ringing on the door, momentarily relieved Leo had come back to the dorm, but on the door only stood Ravi with Leo's phone on his hand.

“I had the same idea moments ago but the phone was left under a pile of clothes.”

“Maybe he's with his parents? Maybe something happened to them?” N was already dialing Leo's mother, his frown deepening.

He should have known something was wrong with Leo. He should have listened to Ken yesterday when he suggested he talked to him, but he was still hurting. He had received the most glares from Leo on the past years, the least social member hating to be treated like a kid making a scene and hating especially N’s vitality and nagging. But never had he seen such hatred, such disgust on the other boy. He had felt like the smallest being, being kicked on his stomach and pushed aside, too scared of going inside and realising Leo really hated him.

“Hakyeon…?” asked Leo's mother as she picked.

“Auntie! I'm sorry for calling this late. I was wondering if Taekwoon had gone back home.” His tone was more of a question.

“No, he hasn't come here. He hasn't picked my call either before. Is everything alright?”

“Yes! He’s probably gone running and forgot his phone, I was just wondering if maybe he was around there. Don't worry, Mrs Jung, I will tell him you called sooner.”

N was already moving his finger to end the call when he heard his name being called by Leo's older sister, the sister asking her mother to pass her the phone.

“Hakyeon,” said her, a door closing on the other side of the line. “I don't want my mother to worry more than she is, but did you call because Taekwoon isn't there? Do you know if he is alright?”

N met the other members’ eyes, who looked back worriedly. He stood and signaled to wait for him as he disappeared on his room, closing the door after him as well.

“He isn't here. When we woke up this morning he had already left. His phone was left here and he hasn't left a note. I'm worried because he was already acting strange yesterday when he returned.”

“I'm sorry,” came the woman's soft voice. “I don't know what I was thinking when I suggested–”

“‘When you suggested…’? What were you about to say?”

“Nothing. It's not important. Hakyeon, I'm pretty sure he should be back soon, it's getting late. I will call a couple of friends and will go look for him just in case. Will call you.”

“Wait!” He called. “The guys and I will go look for him again. We will call you as well if we find him.”

“Thanks, really.”

N sighed as he ended the call. He hesitated before opening the door and going out to find the others.

“Okay guys, we will divide in two groups. Since Jaehwan and I can drive we will go on two different groups. Hyuk, you're too young to go alone at this time.”

“Hyung, I'm not a baby!”

“Jaehwan, you don't mind driving, right?” Ignored N, all playfulness forgotten as he was too worried.

“Not at all. I can go with Bean and Hyuk if you go with Ravi. Ravi knows well the city, he might lead you better than those two.”

“Good. Make sure to have at least one phone activated. Call us if you find him. I will let you know if his sister knows anything too.”

The five men left the dorm and separated in two groups, taking their car and their manager's.

N fastened his seatbelt as Ravi sat by his side, checking his phone and raising the volume in case any message or call was sent. The two of them kept almost silent for the next half an hour, too anxious to think about what to say.

“Hyung, can you go back? I think I remember this street.” N looked at Ravi for a second before turning his gaze back on the road. “During LR we met with some of BTOB hyungs on a pub around this place. I remember Leo hyung saying it was one of his favourite places to be. Maybe he is here?”

N heard the question linger in the air. He knew Leo and Ravi shared an odd friendship he had never managed to understand. A friendship that grew for the past years as both of them sat in silence composing together, only talking to correct something on the melody.

N was the mom type of friend, always too worried of the others, intruding in their lives trying to understand them. He couldn't understand how Ravi could know exactly what Leo wanted when he hadn't asked the other boy a single question. At the same time, he realised the silent way Leo used to take care of their rapper, either cooking him something when the other came late in the night from the studio or even fixing his clothes on a stage as they danced. It was different, and some would even question it, but it worked for them.

“Call Hongbin, please,” asked N

“Ravi?” Came seconds later Hongbin’s voice.

“Bean, any success?”

“Hakyeon,” Ken talked, interrupting Hongbin. “We went north to the hospital’s direction. So far we haven't seen anything. How about you?”

“We're turning into a street Shikkie remembers having been in with Leo. Have you been able to contact with any friend of his? I should probably call–”

“Call who?” Asked Hyuk, as their leader had gone silent.

“Is that him?” Came N’s almost whisper from the line.

“I believe so,” answered Ravi in a similar tone. “Guys, we believe we have found him. We will call you in a moment.”

“Wait, Ravi!”

But it was too late, Ravi had ended the call as the two men opened the doors, the man they were looking for disappearing inside a club.

“Should we split?”

“No,” answered N. “This place is too big. Stay close to me, we have to find him eventually.”

They entered together, Ravi holding the end of N’s jacket as they bumped against people in varying levels of drunkenness, the lights of the club changing colours, brightening the dark place, the temperature high as the bodies danced against each other on the dancefloor and more people bumped them as they made their way to the highest area on the club. They searched from there for the familiar face, finally spotting the boy sitting with a group of men, drinking something.

“Leo,” called N as he finally reached the other boy.

“What are you doing here?” Spat Leo, who’d had way too many drinks, based on his slurred words.

“We came to take you home. You had us all worried. Your mother called asking for you as well. Come on, we will take you to the dorm.”

“I don't wanna go back with you. Don't wanna go back with any of you. I'm fine here, with…” Leo looked at the blond guy sitting by right, who had his arm around his shoulders and probably couldn't understand a word Leo was saying.

“Hyung, don't say things like that. Come back, you have drank enough already.” Tried to reason Ravi.

“Hyung,” snorted Leo, amusement shining on his eyes. “Now I'm your ‘hyung’? Among everyone, you are the one I want to talk to the least, Wonsik. Get the fuck out from here and leave me alone with this dude whose name I can't remember.”

“Are they your friends?” Asked the mentioned man in English.

“No,” answered Leo, turning his back to his members.

N and Ravi looked at the back of the other boy as they wondered what to do to make him listen to them. They exchanged some looks before Ravi took a step forward.

“Taekwoon,” he said as he put a hand on Leo's shoulder. “Listen to us and come back to the dorm.”

Leo shook his hand off his shoulder and pretended he wasn't there, as the man with his arm around him eyed them suspiciously. The second time he tried to get his attention the other man raised and walked towards him.

He asked something to Ravi the rapper didn't get, but he could read the other's body language enough to understand he was probably about to get in a fight. He raised his hands to show he wasn't asking for a problem and told the foreign man he just wanted to bring his friend back home in broken English.

The first fist was almost too fast, Ravi barely dodging it. The man screamed something that seemed a threat as he retreated to Leo's side.

“Taekwoon,” said N, voice hard. “Are you going to ignore us? We don't want to make any scene, but your family and us are worried. We tried calling you, but you left your phone at the dorm. I don't know what's wrong, but come back home and we can talk. Whatever it is, we can solve it.”

“Can we?” Asked Leo, glare fixing on them. “Do you even know what you did, Hakyeon?”

Leo stood, looking at them as he walked towards them. N could see as he got closer his eyes were clouded from the alcohol, but also puffy, as if he had spent a long time crying, his cheeks red and clothes a mess.

“I don't. That's why you should come back. Sleep the hangover, sit down with us in the morning and explain what I did wrong.”

“I wonder all the time why he never went to you sooner. Or maybe he did.”

“What do you mean–”

The next thing N knew was Leo had pushed their faces close, way too close, and that the other man's lips were on his, moving wildly over his.

In his surprise, N had opened his mouth, Leo's tongue pushing inside his mouth, tongue tasting the cocktail of alcohol that made him wonder how the younger boy was still up.

In what felt like seconds, Leo was off him. But not because the other had let go of him, but because Ravi had pushed him off, turning them towards a wall that almost hid them from sight.

Leo was suddenly cornered against the wall, his lips no longer on the other man's lips. He hadn't known why he had felt the urge to kiss him. Maybe he wanted to hurt the two of them. Maybe he wanted to know if N was more addictive than him, if that was the reason why Ravi had chosen him.

“What are you doing, Taekwoon?” Hissed Ravi.

“What am I doing?” Asked him innocently.

Leo saw Ravi's eyes fix themselves lower, on his lips, and only then did he realise he had been biting them. His tongue licked after the sting of the bite, Ravi's hands closing harder for a second on his shoulders.

“We're going home,” said Ravi, grabbing him by the hand and pushing him off the wall, towards a still surprised N.

“I don't want to,” said Leo, trying to fight against Ravi. “Let me go!”

But Ravi held to his hand as if his life depended on it, dragging him out along with N. Leo sometimes forgot the amount of time Ravi actually spent exercising. That behind the sleepy man and smiling eyes he hid enough force to drag a Leo that was acting almost like a child.

“You,” threatened Ravi right as they stopped on the exit door, hand that wasn't clasping his having moved to hold his jaw, fingers digging on his rounded cheeks. “Better not make a scene. If anyone recognises us, you will be on every magazine by tomorrow eight sharp. If you still care for your fans on this state, you will come obediently with your mouth shut.”

Leo, whose mental fog seemed to have disappeared as he pain rose on his cheeks, didn't want to admit to himself how much he enjoyed that fucking disrespectful command. He should be ordering Ravi to stop disrespecting him like that, to start treating him like the hyung he was to him. But all damned when those eyes looked straight into his and he could feel the coiling on his low abdomen as his blood rushed south.

The cold December wind hit his sweaty skin as he was pushed out, Ravi's hand still warm around his as he was taken to the car they drove to come all the way here.

He was pushed unceremoniously into the back seat, Ravi following him as N opened the driver's door and made sure to lock all doors before starting the car.

Ravi fastened Leo's and then his seatbelt before taking his phone from his pocket and sending Hongbin a message telling him they had found Leo and they were driving back home. After that, the man sat in silence, the three of them not breaking it until they had reached the dorm.


	19. Chapter 19

“Go to sleep now. Tomorrow we will talk about what has happened,” said N once everyone was home.

“There's nothing to talk about,” mumbled Leo under his breath as he was pushed up the stairs.

“Wonsik, make sure he goes to bed, yes? Maybe he can take a shower too.”

Ravi looked at their leader, who rubbed the bridge of his nose and eyes with a look of complete exhaustion, before placing a hand on Leo's lower back and pushing him up as they climbed the remaining stairs, Hongbin staying down with the others, who probably would try to think of a strategy for tomorrow's morning.

He pushed the drunk man inside the bathroom, closing the door after him, walking to his room to search for some clothes.

Leo was left alone in the bathroom, steps retreating. He knew the others would be keeping the doors like dogs, trying to prevent his escape, so he sighed, resigned, and stripped, walking to the shower.

The warmth was welcomed after the day he had. He hadn't slept in over 24 hours, unable to as his mind kept wandering to the previous days. He had gotten tired eventually, putting some clothes on and gone for a walk to clear his mind. But as he kept walking away from the dorm and its members, the better he felt, so he kept walking and walking until he had met with an old friend, the sun barely starting to appear. He had gone with him, they drank something, and then drank even more and by the time he had realised the amount of time he had spent out, he was already on that last club, hating everyone, especially himself. And when N and Ravi had appeared together… He had lost it. They dared come look for him together, rubbing on his still open wound the fact he had been kicked as an useless toy. He–

“Hyung, aren't you coming out?”

Leo was startled at Ravi's voice so close to him. He could see the other man's silhouette a single courtain away, the older just realising the water had gone slightly cold as he had stood for a long time under the spray.

Instead of replying, Leo opened the courtain. There was not a single inch of his body Ravi hadn't touched or seen either way, it would be stupid to hide from him now, so he stepped out towards him, stretching his hand out to get the towel the rapper held on his hands.

“What's that?” Said Ravi, instead of passing him the towel.

“‘What's’ what, Wonsik? I'm freezing, pass me the–”

Ravi had pushed him against the shower's wall, almost making him slip on the still wet floor. He held him by the shoulders again, digging on the exact same spot he had pressed on the club when they had gone to pick him up. He let a hiss out at the sudden pain, both on his shoulder and his back, who had been hit against the wall too forcefully.

“I asked,” said the younger with a helid tone. “What. Is. That?”

Leo looked down towards his naked body, following the other's eyes to his bare chest. There, standing out almost innocently, was a dark hickey he hadn't even noticed being made.

He swallowed, licking his dry lips at the situation, the great amount of alcohol he had consumed the only thing preventing him from embarrassing himself with an awkward boner.

“What does it look like?” He asked with a confidence he wasn't feeling. “A hickey, that's what it is, Wonsik. Now let me go.”

“Why do you have a hickey?”

Leo looked up in confusion at Ravi, but his eyes were still locked on his chest, a dangerous frown forming between his eyebrows.

Leo pushed off the wall, Ravi looking up towards him as he closed the distance between their bodies, the rough winter clothes rubbing against his sensitive skin as he put a hand on his nape and brought their faces closer, his lips moving against the other's ear as he whispered.

“That's what people get when they have sex. I thought you would know, since you seemed really interested in marking me when we fooled together, too.”

The vicious words pushed out of his mouth as a smirk grew on his face, wanting to hurt the other as much as he had hurt him. When their eyes met he saw he had realised the subtle difference in wording, having caught what he had told him.

“Really, Taekwoon? Risking rumours after two drinks?” The tone was almost too light, but he could see the heaviness behind, the effect his words had had on him.

“You're nothing to me to judge me, Wonsik.”

Taking the towel from his hands violently, he tied it around his hips as he retreated to the door, ready to go to bed and forget about today.

“Did you really fuck her?” Asked Ravi as he was about to open the door.

Leo stayed silent for a moment before turning to Ravi, his eyes cold and devoid of emotion as he answered him.

“No.” He said, meeting his eyes. “I let him fuck me.”

With those last words, he closed the door between the two and walked to his room, closing the door after him.

He had always heard only children and drunk people didn't tell lies. He had spent enough time with Minyul to know children told them, and just about now, he had realised drunk people could also do it.

He had a couple of drinks more than he would normally and he had barely realised as his friend unbuttoned his shirt, his lips on his chest. It had been when his senses had come back when he had pushed the other man away, freaking out and leaving the apartment hurriedly, stupidly seeking comfort on more booze as his head kept being a mess, trying to forget everything for a couple of hours.

Leo collapsed on his mattress, his eyes too dry after so many tears to let him cry again, and with the warmth of the bed he was lulled to sleep.

***

He walked barefoot down to the kitchen, headache torturing him and overall wanting to smash it against a wall.

On the table the members sat eating breakfast. Leo stopped for a moment, looking at the other men, silence having fallen among them. Shrugging and too in pain to care one bit, he walked towards the cabinet where they had most of the pills, swallowing them without water in his hurry to feel better soon.

He pushed the chair away from the table with as much noise as he could make, wanting to break the silence, but regretting immediately as the pounding on his right side threatened to kill him right then and there.

“Well,” cleared his throat Ken after a while. “Have you slept well, Leo hyung?”

“Mhmm,” nodded Leo as he pushed cereal into his mouth to avoid more dumb questions.

He had realised on his hungover state just how childish and stupid he had been the previous day, spurting all kinds of nonsense and hurting everyone as he enjoyed making them feel like shit. Now, in the morning, regretting many of those actions, he preferred to keep quiet as he usually did, trying to go back to normal and being forgiven eventually.

And that way he avoided everyone's questions for the next two days, eventually even N giving up on him and going back to how things used to be.

He had noticed Ravi's stare linger on him as he walked away from a place, but the rapper had smiled at him and kept nagging him with his questionable music choices.

By the end of the week, two single days before Christmas, everyone had gone back to normal, Leo silently judging them while helping them, cooking for them and keeping mostly as silent as possible, listening to his music on his phone, watching old performances with Hongbin until it was time to go to sleep, amusing N as he tried to trigger his patience and voicing his opinion every once in a while in a low voice before stuffing his face in food as everyone asked him what had he just said.

Normality had returned to their dorm and everyone sighed relieved as they prepared things for Christmas, everyone trying to guess what to buy for the rest with an agreed maximum amount they could spend per person.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanted to apologise for posting a little late. I was trying to post, when I was able to get internet, every two days, but I missed yesterday, for personal reasons that have messed a little bit with me.
> 
> I wanted to let you know that I will try to update the story as soon as possible, I predict there aren't many chapters left from where I actually have written (I still have some chapters written after chapter 20).
> 
> Hopefully, I will be able to finish soon. I don't want to let you all hanging with it so, even if it's a little slower, I will try to update as soon as possible.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter (which is a twisted version of their VIXX TV episode from when they made the Christmas 'Chained up' version.

“No,” had refused Leo.

“Come on, Daeguni! It's cute!”

“I said no. Keep that thing out of my face, Hakyeon.”

“Maybe hyung prefers this one?” Suggested Ken as he laughed behind N.

“I will kick one of you.”

“Come on, hyung,” said Ravi as he dropped his arm around his shoulders. “I think your costume will look cute on you.”

After the whole drunk incident Ravi had gone back to adding the honorifics to his name, going back to how things used to be before they got complicated, and Leo didn't know if he preferred it that way, feeling too tense every time Ravi added the word at the end of his name, not trusting one bit the natural way things have ended going back to.

“Leo hyung will look really cute with that reindeer costume. I'm sure Starlight will love it!”

Leo wanted to punch Hyuk for using the fans against him. Everyone knew Leo was weak to please them as he was usually the least expressive member, not providing aegyo or fanservice enough for them. He knew the moment they were brought up he was solt, sighing like an old man but accepting the costume either way, stripping before putting the aberration on.

“I look ridiculous,” had groaned Leo as he appeared through the door.

“Daeguni! You look so cute, hold on there for a second, I need to take a picture.”

Leo didn't wait for N to look for his phone, he left to a corner as Hongbin and Ravi stretched their muscles dressed in their Santa costumes.

He felt so tired, he just wanted to sleep until next year. For some reason no one could understand he felt on edge. Normality wasn't a good thing exactly, predicting what the other boys would do made him suspicious, he felt as if they would pull a prank on him at any time, he couldn't exactly point or explain what he felt, but it made him want to punch everyone until they went back to their unpredictable statu quo.

Leo laid on the floor on his stomach, head to the side and closing his eyes as everyone kept running here and there, dressing on their costumes –why did he have to wear that ridiculous reindeer costume while everyone else could wear the normal Santa one?–. Of course, as Hyuk had fooled Leo into wearing his and because he was their cute maknae, he wore a matching reindeer costume, a choker that resembled more a beast's leash closed around their necks in red, reminding them which era was this.

Leo barely noticed as Hyuk put a red clown nose on his face, tossing one his way –which he made sure to push as far away from him as possible, he was already looking ridiculous, he wasn't amusing anyone more than he should–. A staff member was talking to the young man close to him, Leo still with his eyes closed as he felt a weight over his back. He moved his hand to push N away, he wasn't in the mood for his games; instead, he found long, slightly calloused fingers on a big warm hand. He knew who was the Santa half sitting on his back, but he pretended to ignore the weight as he noticed the staff leaving and Hyuk starting to talk.

Distantly, he heard Hyuk sing a Christmas song as Ravi's hand moved in circles over his back.

“Hi, everyone! Why do I sound nasal?” He heard him greet and wonder. “My nose’s supposed to look like this. Yes, we're in VIXX’s practice room. I will now introduce VIXX member with who I'm spending Christmas with.”

Even if Christmas was in a day, they had to record this now so the staff would have time to edit and subtitle the video. Leo didn't care much for it besides the fact Starlight would enjoy. Hopefully they would edit the video so he wouldn't look as dead as he felt.

“Christmas present for Starlight!” Screamed happily Ravi over him.

Leo could feel a second pair of hands shaking him and trying to make him sit properly for the video, but he wasn't moving, now half tired half embarrassed, remembering what he was wearing.

“Get up, we need to work.” So it had been Hongbin trying to push him up.

Still sitting on him, he felt Ravi's pats on his back as Hongbin tried to push him by the legs now. Leo wasn't complying, but Ravi wasn't moving either, so it would be almost impossible for Hongbin to accomplish anything. On the background, Ken was making noises and trying to gain some attention as Hongbin started to give up.

“Taekwoon,” complained Ravi.

What the–.

Leo was surprised at the sudden return of the drop on honorifics. It was true, Ravi tended to drop them while broadcasts, but he still felt himself tense, turning slightly to punch him before stopping himself, putting the ridiculous glasses on and laying back again. He felt Hongbin get up and walk, presumably towards the camera.

“Rudolf drank alcohol until his nose turned red,” said Hongbin.

“Is this the Rudolf that got drunk the other day?” Asked Hyuk, and Leo wanted to murder him at the amusement his words hid.

“That's right,” nodded Ravi as he brushed Leo's shoulder.

“You drank too much,” giggled Hongbin.

Fortunately the attention turned towards Ken, as their happy member made his voice deep and played around.

“What is this?” Laughed Hyuk.

“I transplanted it, it's the trend,” answered back Ken, with that old man impersonation.

“Really?”

“Santas are trying to make their chest hair look like this and change their hair to black. Chest hair should be white like this.”

Leo couldn't pay enough attention to the nonsense his friend was sprouting because he felt Ravi's hand travel to his lower back, fingers resting dangerously close to his butt as he pat him while everybody sat close together so they could fit on camera.

Leo got slightly up as everyone around him screamed “Real VIXX. V I X X. We're VIXX”, making the V gesture before sliding back to the floor. He got up once again to shake his hand on camera as he felt a third hand pinch him on the side to call his attention, resting his hot cheek on the floor. Ravi's hands were too distracting, honestly, and the last thing he needed was to blush all the way to his ears because his friend was patting him like one pet an animal.

“We're shooting for the dance practice of ‘Chained up’,” said Ravi as his hand slid the half and inch down, placing his open palm on his left butt cheek, caressing it as he kept speaking, making the older man freeze. “We're dressed up for Christmas!” The hand stopped for a second before squeezing him. “Taekwoon,” said Ravi, once again dropping that damned word. “Say ‘hello’ to Starlight.”

Leo got up to slap Ravi, but the other man grabbed his hand. With a silent sigh Leo got up enough to look at the camera as he greeted in a soft voice that echoed on the silent room. Leo didn't ignore Hyuk's almost gasp of surprise as he had followed Ravi's petition –which wasn't an option at all, although it looked like it–.

“Everyone,” saved him Ken. “If you want to spend your Christmas warm, let your hair grow.”

Leo looked at his friend half in amusement as he put a headband on his head, Hyuk already introducing what they were there for.

“It's Christmas, and we're here for something special, so let's start.” He got passed some bright yellow papers, Leo looking at them curiously. “I think this Santa grandmother…” said Hyuk as he looked at N.

“Grandmother?” Asked surprised N, containing his judging stare.

“Aren't you a grandma?”

“She's old!”, “Santa grandma!”, could be heard member screaming on the background.

“Are you male?” Asked Hyuk almost laughing as he annoyed N.

“Male?!” N raised his fist as if to punch their funny maknae.

“No violence!” Stopped Ken.

After a couple of seconds to calm themselves and N putting the red nose back on Hyuk even as he protested, Hyuk got a signal by the staff and got serious.

“I will explain. We have six card with different options. We have to pick and say ‘Merry Christmas’ with the different version each member picked,” he told them while showing the papers. “Wait, I need a Rudolf assistant! Hyung, be my assistant, my arms hurt.”

Sighing, as he could feel himself being dragged, Leo stepped closer to Hyuk and towards the camera. He got passed the neon papers as he shuffled them and offered them to N.

After N picked one of them, Leo looked down curiously to see what N’s card read, but N was taking long to open them, Ravi stealing it from his hands as he opened it.

“The Santa grandma’s mission is,” he showed the paper to the camera as he read. “Strong older guy version!”

As N heard his mission, violently took the paper from between Ravi's hand and said “Merry Christmas” in what should have been a deep voice, face serious, almost scowling.

They make him repeat it after he completely cracks and laughs as Hyuk calls him a grandma, this time sounding even more ridiculous. Leo, who sat to his left, slapped him with the papers he had between his hands. Slap, slap.

“How do we do the strong old guy version?” Asks Hongbin, still laughing.

“Right behind you,” said Ravi to N.

When N turned he saw an amused Hongbin before Ravi turned him to the other side, oblivious to Leo's glare, until N’s eyes met Ken’s, and then down to his chest.

Everyone, but Leo, exploded on a fit of laugh as Ken, sensing the camera on him, talked with that old man’s voice as he caressed the wig that laid on his chest. But the laughs weren't finished as N pulled a white hair from his own wig, pushing the wig down until it covered half of his face, everyone almost rolling on the floor.

“So this is the way to do the strong old man!”

“That hair should be on your chest!” Screamed happily Ken.

“Yeah,” called the attention Ravi. “Let's see Ken do the strong old man's version!” Ken laughed but did as he said, opening his jacket to show the fake hair as he spoke with his old voice. “Good vocalisation!”

As he said it, Ravi fished the red nose that laid once again on the flood and put it on Hyuk, who complained.

“But it makes my voice sound nasal!”

“That's the point.”

Leo wanted to leave that moment.

He was tired, both physically and emotionally. To top everything he didn't need to see Ravi being playful with everyone. He knew he was being plain stupid, he was embarrassing their maknae, not fucking him raw in front of him, but his jealousy burnt inside of him as he averted his eyes and blinked all his emotions under a mask of indifference, tiredness returning as he had to fake once again how perfect things were for him.

After they made N embarrass himself again Leo chose Hongbin for his aegyo “Merry Christmas” version, slapping Hongbin as well after the young man, more than obviously, picked ‘jagiya’ as a word to try Leo's patience, acting as he was angry at the painless hits.

“Assistant, please, pick next,” said Hyuk, almost surprising Leo, who on his confusion picked Ravi.

It was only after he had handed him the paper he had been trying to avoid giving him that he realised how fucked up things could get. He had opened discreetly the cards to see the missions and had looked at the “sexy” version almost in abhorrence. Now Ravi was opening that paper, fidgeting with it until he managed to open it.

“Sexy man version,” read Ravi, his eyes darkening for a second as he looked at Leo for an even shorter moment.

“Okay, show us,” said Hyuk, oblivious to the tension between them. “One, two, three!”

Ravi pushed up on his arm at ‘three’, standing on his knees and a hand and curving his back in what was supposed to be sexy, saying ‘Merry Christmas’ almost choking.

“What was that?” Judged Hongbin, merciless. “Did you hurt your back?”

Leo, actually feeling relieved, pushed forward and slapped Ravi as well with the remaining papers, making Ravi laugh.

Leo completely ignored as Ken tried Ravi's version, too focused on his hands and his papers as he felt N’s stare between him and Ravi. N was too fast to catch on stuff, even if not even himself knew what was happening right now inside of him, so it was better to avoid him. Luckily, Hyuk calling him to pick the next person saved him from the scrutiny.

Leo handed the pure man’s version, which he had actually expected to give to Ravi, to Ken. The extra man laughed as he read his mission, while Hongbin screamed it was impossible for him to do it.

“Noona,” said finally Ken, doing his version. “I prepared this for you. Do you like it?”

Everyone laughed at the pure ridiculousness of the act, making Ken laugh awkwardly as he pushed his insecurity under a new layer of dumbness.

And now it was Leo's turn to face his own insecurities as the camera turned to him, his version in front of his face, making him prepare for what was to come, the Cinderella's Prince Christopher’s version.

When the paper was gone and he could see the lens of the camera focusing on him, he took his glasses off in what he hoped was a great move and said ‘Merry Christmas’ in a clear voice, before putting the glasses back on.

Judging by everyone's looks, it wasn't as good as he had visualised it being on his mind.

“I think he thought we would cheer for him,” said Ravi, making Leo glare at him.

“Again,” said N and Hyuk together.

This time he pushed a finger behind the glasses to pop the single dark crystal, making it fall with an almost soundless clatter to the floor, saying the line once again.

“Strong!” Murmured Hongbin.

Their attention was soon off him and he relaxed again, listening but not hearing what they were saying.

“What's left for Hyuk? Hyokkie should do all versions.”

Leo wasn't standing up to see the remaining boy do all the versions, choosing to lay once again on the floor, almost falling asleep, being told to stand up a little more as they did their greetings towards the end and finishing his short lived moment.

He had unconsciously licked his lips as he heard Ravi mention LR as he sat behind the younger man during his greetings, smelling the now warm skin from the previous dance. They’d danced to ‘Chained up’ a couple of times, since all the time they would end on a mess of laughs, Leo finally kicking Ken as he had threatened to do at the beginning of this craziness. Bless the staff that was going to edit most of it. He stared at him as he talked, a single drop of sweat traveling slowly down his neck, tempting Leo to lick it away so hard his voice was still affected when his turn to speak came, making him have to clear it a couple of times during his greetings.

He had to run away from the practice room once they were finished before he ignored all his common sense and jumped on Ravi. If to strangle him or to kiss him senseless was a question that would never get an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU'RE READING THIS...
> 
> OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOGMWURBEIBHDBWUDBRJRHEURF
> 
> LR ARE MAKING A COMEBACK THIS AUGUST, HOLD ME I'M DYING!!!!!!!
> 
> LR DID THINGS TO ME AS WELL, SWEET TAEKWOON, YOU BETTER CONTROL YOURSELF THIS TIME CAUSE I WAS SHOOK WITH THE FIRST ONE.
> 
> HDBEUDNEUNFIRBF MORE WONTAEK FOR MY POOR SOFT SHIPPER SOUL *-*
> 
> BLESS
> 
>  
> 
> \---Mine's fungirling ends here (for now). Scream with me, Starlight! <3


	21. Chapter 21

Only once he was out of the practice room he let himself take a deep breath and sigh. His clothes were abandoned on the bathroom where they had changed, and he quickly started changing into them. But one thing he had learnt for the past years living with his members was that you're never quick enough when another five men live in close quarters.

As he peeled the costume away from his back, the door opened, carrying the chatter of his friends.

“Daeguni, why did you leave that quick?” Said N as he tried to put back the costume on him to take a picture.

“Hakyeon. I'm half naked in a ridiculous reindeer costume. If you take a single picture I will poison your food.”

The threat was ignored, but N complained as he took his clothes, along with the rest of the boys, to dress on the bigger practice room since the bathroom wasn't big enough to keep the six of them. He had sighed again, unbuttoning the remaining buttons as he heard them disappear on the other room, four pairs of steps…

For pairs?

With his arm half hanging on the costume’s sleeve and the other trying to push the costume away we turned to see who was left. His eyes found a naked chest before they turned to the eyes he had seen many times. His eyes, though, were fixed on Leo's chest, a frown of pure unmasked disgust displayed.

“I still hate it,” said Ravi looking intently.

Leo didn't have to look down to know where he was looking at. The small purple mark that had appeared after the incident a couple of days ago was slowly fading into an ugly green colour, standing out on his extremely pale skin and making Leo uncomfortable as the other boy glared at it.

“Deal with it, Wonsik, it will heal in another couple of days.”

Leo resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the immature comment that came from Ravi and the one he, himself, had muted before it had the opportunity to escape his lips and mess things more.

How dared he look annoyed of a little mark like this when he had heard him fuck another member? At least, Leo had the decency of going out and finding someone the rest of them hadn't met. Although Ravi, of course, didn't know nothing actually had happened, since Leo had twisted his words to sink like a dagger. He should feel ashamed of his little outburst the other night, instead, he knew it was what he had to do at the moment, to be able to deal with the situation, to show the world he wasn't as affected as he really was on the inside. He couldn't just blurt his feelings, it would not only make things awkward, it would completely destroy everything they had, because Leo knew Ravi didn't share his feelings.

Leo probably should have seen it happen, but he was too busy dealing with his own thoughts to notice Ravi's mood changing, so when he had finally managed to get his arm out of the costume, it falling on a pile around his ankles, he also felt Ravi turning him 180 degrees and slamming his back against the cold tiles of the bathroom.

“I hate it!” Although the words were only a whisper, the emotion behind had the force of a scream.

“Wonsik, what the fuck are you doing?” Leo glared at Ravi, their eyes staring at each other with almost hatred. “Stop slamming me against walls,” he said, his voice dropping into a threat. “Unless you're going to do something that requires pinning me. Like punching me,” he told him as their eyes burnt with a mixture of feelings that raised the temperature between them. “Or fuck me.”

Their hatred glares turned into something more dangerous, something darker and fluctuant that made them burn from the inside out. It didn't last long, their bodies separating with a jump as they heard Hongbin punch the door and tell them they were leaving.

When they entered the car seven minutes later with frowns and tense muscles, tight expressions on their faces and only half dressed, no one questioned them, pushing on their seats as far away from them as possible, staying dead silent not to ignite their anger and attract it their way.

On the front seat, Ken and N’s eyes crossed with a frown of their own, more worried than angry. They knew nothing good came from those two’s fights, and the younger ones knew enough to keep quiet when those two were in the mood. Suddenly, the mood in the car was tense for everyone, every single one of them wanting to escape from the trap the vehicle was, sensing as the oppressive atmosphere pushed against their skin, crawling and making everyone too uncomfortable. If Ken ignored a couple of red semaphores from an empty street, no one mentioned it, they would deal with the repercussions later, they just rushed as civilly as possible through Seoul's Tuesday night traffic, Christmas lights passing in a blur as they got closer to the dorm.

If the car had been uncomfortable, the six boys pressing against each other on the elevator was suffocating. The tension only seemed to grow and test their nerves as they blinked staring at the numbers grow, getting closer to their destiny, where everyone would probably disappear far away from them, expecting the war to unleash at any moment, hopefully catching them behind the security of their own rooms.

Hyuk was barely quick enough to open the door before Leo pushed at the wood and stormed inside, not once looking back at the rest of the members, not saying a word, just turning the corner of the entrance, his steps leading him to the stairs.

The remaining four felt Ravi's tension elevate until they felt the need to gasp and take a step back, the veins on his neck standing out before he entered the dorm and walked in long strides through the same path the –usually shy– boy had took.

Four young men stood on the hall, wondering if to walk in or not, when a sleepy manager appeared in pajamas staring at them waiting there. A couple of unvoiced messages were passed between the two oldest and him, before he shuddered and retreated fast towards his room, trying to avoid the confrontation as well.

With a silent sigh, the members entered, took their shoes off and walked into the living room.

“Ken and Hongbin, can you two start cooking something for dinner? Hyuk and I will shower.” Said N, starting to unbutton his shirt right there.

“Is some ramen alright?”

“Wait, why do I have to shower with you?” Said Hyuk, only after realising what N had said.

“Hyokkie,” said N, with a forced smile. “Do you want to take a shower and eat at 2am? It's late. I will shower now and I will finish the meal as those two shower, if you want to wait for your turn, I'm fine with it.”

“But there are now two showers, hyung, we're not depending on just one like on the old dorm!” Everyone on the room turned to Hyuk as if he was stupid. It took Hyuk less than ten seconds after speaking to realise his mistake. “Oh right, Leo and Ravi hyung are upstairs. I will take that shower right now, hyung!”

The young man almost run to the bathroom with N following behind. On a different situation it could have been even funny, but with the cold war developing a single floor away, everyone kept their voices low and minded their own business to be able to disappear as quick as possible into their rooms.

“Wait, Ken,” said Hongbin as he passed the other boy another packet of ramen sauce. “Where am I going to sleep?”

“True,” said Ken wondering. “You can sleep with N, his bed is bigger.”

“Jaehwan hyung,” directed Hongbin a stare. “Don't.”

Even though they were too tense even now, Ken let a soundless laugh at Hongbin’s desperation. N liked to hug, spoon, touch and, sometimes, even bite the poor victims that had to sleep close to him; there was no big difference between awake N and asleep N, except N was even wilder during night, to everyone's dismay. For that reason, most members tried to avoid their leader and let him roll happily on his bed. Ken was used to it by now, and Hongbin thought he saw mischief shine on the older man’s eyes when he stared at him.

“I will lend you my bed, just for today. I thought even you would accept our octopus leader over going up to your room.”

“Even I have my limits,” sighed Hongbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *insert evil laugh*


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random: does anyone know how to add italics on AO3?

Leo paced like a wild animal around his room looking for clean clothes to wear for the night, freezing on his shirt and jeans, his jacket laying on a chair with his phone and wallet still untouched.

He finally picked his clothes and walked to the bathroom, where he entered without waiting for the water to warm as he heard loud steps outside the room. Knowing the rest of the members, they would be hiding downstairs, waiting for Ravi's and his anger to cool down, but not even the physical cold water wetting his hair could stop him from boiling on the inside in annoyance.

Fucking Wonsik.

Leo was getting tired of having to repeat those words, of wanting to bang his head against the wall, of wanting to scream until it lead to ugly sobs. He was just tired. But, when he saw the fire on the other man's eyes, he couldn't but answer back with as much passion as he had. And Leo hated to lose, he wasn't losing this macho contest they were having, turning the usually calm boy into almost a monster.

He huffed once again as he pushed his face directly under the water, enjoying the silence that surrounded him, only his heartbeat and the sound of water accompanying him. Probably he shouldn't have done that, though, as he muffled the world he ignored the door that opened, the steps that brought them together and even as the curtain opened. But he felt it.

Leo turned confused and angrily to the curtain, but it was being pushed back on it's place by an arm. An arm with a tattoo on its wrist. Leo gritted his teeth together as he looked away from the chest to the cold eyes that burnt him.

“Get the fuck out,” hissed him, as he turned back to the water.

In a second, he felt his body turn and slam once again against the wall, dragging a pained sound from him. He glared at the other man, hating the fact Ravi was still slightly taller than him, even if they were supposed to be the same height. The millimeters between them made his skin crawl at the moment, stupid or not.

“No.”

Leo wanted to pretend that, even if he wanted to punch Ravi's nose until it stood on an awkward angle, he wasn't affected by his presence at all. But he would be lying to himself, the other man's voice was enough to chill him before a very different kind of fire burnt inside of him, his naked skin looked soft and his muscles distracted him, while Ravi’s eyes travelled from his chest up to his eyes and down again, making his skin buzz in anticipation.

“I told you before,” said Leo in the same threatening way he had used before. “Slam me only if you're going to punch me. You better get out this instant.”

“No,” said him again, a smirk curving his lips up. “You said if I ‘punched or fucked’ you.” His eyes lowered an instant before meeting his again with a force that made Leo's legs feel like jelly.

“I haven't seen that punch come my way still, Wonsik.”

A question hung between them, but Leo was unable to answer it because he would lie if he said he didn't want it, but his pride would never make him voice out loud the agreement. At his silence, one of his hands was freed so Ravi could push their hips against each other, grounding them, Leo trying –and failing– to silence the moan he left out as his aroused member was pushed against Ravi's equally aroused one.

His free hand shot between them to Ravi's throat, closing around it with an ungentle pressure. Ravi didn't seem to mind, as his eyes just became darker as he rutted against him harder, their gasps mixing together as Leo tried to stop him but was betrayed by his own body. When Ravi's other hand abandoned his wrist to close around his hair and pulled, Leo surprised them both with an animalistic sound tearing through his throat, kicking Ravi away and pushing him off him finally.

Leo knew he should push him out of the room, lock the door, finish his shower and go to sleep. But what his logic told him and what his hormones ordered were two very different things, so he made sure to turn the tap off before he pushed Ravi out of the bathroom. Instead of closing the door, as he could see Ravi think was about to happen, he followed the man out, a hand on his chest as he pushed him back towards his room, his eyes staring at him unblinkingly. He could feel the rapid beats of his heart right under his hand as he pressed the body to the young man's bedroom door.

He opened the door, Ravi backing almost clumsily into the room as Leo closed the door behind himself with his foot, not looking away from Ravi. His eyes, his chest, his hard dick. He stared everywhere. He pushed him back until Ravi's legs met the bed, and then the hand pushed him back a last time, making him fall over the soft mattress, not caring he damped the sheets and covers under him. Leo climbed him, legs straddling his hips and lips clashing against the other's until he tasted the blood on the other man's tongue, blood he lapped away as their tongues danced.

Ravi could only see red at the moment, his previous anger not having disappeared fully as it mixed dangerously with raw lust as their bodies pressed harder against the other.

There was no hesitation like the first times they had done this, there was no curiosity as they had shown as they discovered each other, there wasn't respect of any sort as they had brought the other to climax, knowing but not wanting to realise who their partner was. There was nothing soft on it. There was only need and lust, and so much anger and brutality their lips stung as blood mixed with saliva as their tongues fought for dominance, Leo's tongue fucking his mouth at the same pace he rubbed them together, frantically and without a single care for the teeth that closed on each other's lips and tongues, drawing more blood that couldn't stop them as one sucked on the open cut while the other sank his nails on the other's back, or hips, or cheeks, never pushing the other away as their moans and groans got lost on each other's mouths and skin.

“I thought you said I wasn't going to fuck you,” groaned the younger as he pushed away to fill his lungs.

“And you aren't. I am fucking you.” The smile that curved Leo's lips was so twisted it was almost beautiful. “I'm fucking myself on you.”

Ravi's breath got stuck on his throat as he was pushed towards the middle of the bed, his head resting on the soft pillow as Leo climbed him with graceful moves, silently and predatory, his eyes never leaving his and long legs wrapping around his hips.

Ravi took the other man's position to his advantage and turned them until he was resting between those pale spread legs, his hands caressing the soft skin from middle thigh to his chest before his eyes landed on the love bite that had started this mess. Like he remembered doing a month ago, he closed his lips around the visible mark, this time not driven by the moment lust, but the hatred that had boiled inside him for the past couple of days as he saw that mark on his skin even as he was fully clothed, pretending he thought it was alright. When he bit and sucked this time, it was to leave a clear message in there. He is mine.

The ever sensitive Leo curved against his mouth as he stared down at him. He knew what he was doing. “Good,” Ravi thought with a smirk spreading over the warm skin. “Let him know.”

Leo had fought him the whole time until Ravi got annoyed and growled in frustration, slapping the inside of his thigh with a loud sound, stopping him as he retreated from shock. Then he took him on his mouth, fingers already moving to find the lube on his drawer as shock gave way to breathy pleasured sounds.

Leo resisted the urge to push his hips up and choke Ravi, as vicious as he felt he wanted to keep things going, so he tried to push his hips down onto the mattress as the tongue lapped him while a finger pushed inside, making him force himself to relax against the intrusion.

The second finger, though, took him by surprise.

“Too cold?” Asked Ravi as he looked at him, his lips red and tantalising.

It wasn't coldness, it was hesitation. He should stop him, kick him and leave the room, but he couldn't. He simply couldn't. So he let him believe it was coldness and not fear what had stopped him. Fear of what was to come, fear of their tense future.

Leo arched as the second finger entered him, expecting Ravi to go slow, but he found himself gasping as the two digits retreated just to slam back inside, his muscles tensing against the intrusion, but never raising his voice to stop the movements. His pride held his tongue back as he tried to breathe through his nose as Ravi scissored, hands fisting on the sheets as he pressed his teeth hard to contain the sounds.

Leo wanted to scream and cry when he was forced to take the third long finger in. Ravi had the decency to take him back in his mouth, the demanding tongue pressing on every place he knew would make him forget even his own name, the pain fading slowly as pleasure built inside him.

“Ravi,” gasped Leo. “Stop.” As soon as he said that the fingers inside of him halted, his mouth still holding him as he pulsated on his tongue, hooded eyes fixing on his similarly affected ones. “I don't wanna come on your mouth.”

Ravi let go with an obscene popping sound as the fingers left his entrance, that now missed the abuse. He could see him search for something on his drawer and, when he saw what the other was inspecting, he could just start laughing as he covered his face.

“Why are you laughing?” Asked Ravi as he turned towards him.

“No,” he said, seconds before taking the condom packet the other held on his hand and threw it to the other side of the room.

“What are you doing, Taekwoon?” Almost snarled Ravi.

For a moment, lost in his own lust, Leo had almost forgotten their apparent mutual hatred had brought them to this situation, but it still danced on his inside, mixing on a lethal combination with his need.

“You've sucked me, I've sucked you. It's a little late to want to use protection, don't you think?” Although he laughed while saying it, his tone wasn't as carefree, cutting like a knife.

“Yes,” Ravi's eyes dropped to where now his own mark was hiding the detonator of this. “I sucked you before. Before you got drunk and let some random dude fuck you.”

Those words hurt more than they should, since he knew they were not real. He hadn't been able to fuck anyone because every single time he would go back to thinking about him, about the same person that now spit those words with as much venom as possible.

“I was drunk. I was angry. I was hurt. And I was horny. I felt many things, Kim Wonsik. But I'm not stupid and I'm not a slut.”

Ravi seemed to become smaller under his stare, but Leo wasn't staying to hear him apologise. His eyes had started to fill with tears once again, the tough façade falling as he became the same hurt man he had been a couple of days ago, and the only thing he wanted was to get out of this bed, of this room. He just wanted to put as much distance between them as possible before he cracked completely and spurted everything.

“Taekwoon, I'm sorry, I didn't –”

“I don't fucking care, Wonsik.”

Leo didn't have any clothes on when he came to this room and he felt almost shy of leaving now naked, when Ravi's warm body couldn't blanket him.

“I do. I'm sorry, hyung. I'm sorry.”

There were so many things Leo wanted to scream. “Stop using the honorifics only when they are helpful to you.”, “Why did you have to ask me to be your fuck partner?”, “Why can't you see I love you?”.

“Let me go,” asked Leo in a tired voice, instead.

As he tried to leave, Ravi had gotten up and pushed him towards his chest, their still naked skin resting against the other's.

“Taekwoon, please, forgive me. Please, don't hate me.”

Ravi's tears were hot against his shoulder, where he hid his face from him, the hands that previously rested on his torso, now closed harder around him, as if he could physically ground and let him understand his feelings.

“Wonsik,” Leo tried really hard not to cry. “Let me go.”

“Please Taekwoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LR's comeback is closer and closer and I'm not ready for the teasers to drop, we all know I will die the moment I'm blessed with them. I wonder if they will manage to make an even better comeback than their debut song, but I don't think that's possible.
> 
> Also, I'm sorry for updating this late, honestly, too much has happened those past months and it was really hard for me to center myself on writing. I hope you're not too disappointed by this chapter (which I rewrote about three times) and you don't kill me for doing this to them. I'm gonna try, although I cannot promise, to update sooner this time.
> 
> Either way, you're all welcome to leave a comment around and tell me to rush XD, it motivates my lazy soul. Also, feel free to fangirl and fanboy in there, I love fangirling~


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank to every single person who liked and commented on the story. You cannot believe how immensely happy it makes me to see people enjoy (and cry mwhahaha) when reading this. Seeing so much positive feedback makes me feel like this story is actually worth writing even if at times I doubt myself, you're all there supporting me and I will never be able to thank you all enough.  
> Thanks to everyone who gave 'We're chained up together' an opportunity', you're all so precious to me <3

He woke up in pain, hot and wet.

Not in the nice way anyone would expect.

Last night came in a flash and Leo had to close his eyes, a hand pressing against the temple where a headache was starting to form.

“Not yet,” a voice whispered as he tried to run away. “Please.”

Leo looked down at the man resting on his shoulder, seeing the fresh tears on his eyes as his arm hug him tighter and closer, his still naked body warming his cold skin.

Leo was weak. He always had. Last night he should have left the room, put distance between them and go back to being the cold, professional Leo. But that deep voice, that could never be associated to a young boy, begging him to stay and the tears that had burnt his skin… Leo was weak. Against all logic, he had stayed, he had hugged Ravi in bed and they have fallen asleep lulled by the other's warmth and breathing.

“It's already morning,” Leo told him, as if to excuse his mistake.

“Not yet.”

Ravi's face pressed even harder against him, hiding tears Leo could feel on his skin, feeling the other boy's shoulders shake as he dug his fingers on his side. Slowly, he pushed down until his head was resting back on the pillow, hugging Ravi closer in desperation even if it just pained him more.

When he woke up again, he was alone.

***

Leo had celebrated Christmas with the members, with Starlight and even with his family. All of them brought happiness to him, but also pain. He had hurt many people on the group, he had not given all he could have to fans, he had abandoned his family for a long while as he tried to deal with the mess he was. But Christmas was a day to celebrate. They exchanged small presents, not too expensive and nothing too big. A jacket her sisters had bought, a sweater her mother had made, a scarf his father had insisted him to use during the cold days. The boys too, they had picked randomly and anonymously a member so they didn't have to buy something for everyone. He had bought a mix of herbs for Ken’s throat, as he was who appeared on the paper he picked from the bowl.

Ravi was the last to give his present. His present to Leo. Everyone had stared with big eyes and open mouths as Ravi guided Leo to the second floor and opened the studio. There, resting under Ravi's mixing devices, laid a beautiful piano.

“What the hell, Ravi?” Exclaimed Hongbin.

“What part of “something not too expensive” did you miss when we agreed on the amount of money we were spending?” Reprimanded N.

“I never got to give hyung his birthday present, and it will be good for both to have the piano here either way.” Ravi scratched his head awkwardly, not meeting Leo's eyes even once.

It was true. Ravi never gave him his birthday present. He had been alright with it, his birthday had been confusing with the comeback starting the previous day, they had celebrated eating pizza and cake and going to sleep soon, so he didn't hold anything against them, but this… Even if both of them really needed it, it was more than he could have expected.

“Thanks,” was all Leo had told him then, too surprised still to voice more.

That night he didn't think twice before turning to Ravi's room instead of his to sleep. And that was all they did: sleep. There were not lustful thoughts, just familiarity and warmness. Ravi had hugged him closer in bed, his chest on Leo's back and his forehead resting on his shoulder.

Next morning, Ravi was still there. The tension was still there. The dull ache on his chest was still there. The members’ stares were still there. Everything was the same, yet everything seemed different.

***

Things went back to normal once again as they got announced the next comeback’s date. They were making a Japanese comeback finally, which both filled them with joy and scared them to death, suddenly trying to remember and missing their Japanese lessons. They still had a whole month to prepare the songs, as 2016 got closer day by day.

The ever impatient group were now listening to the melody for the song they would be singing soon.

In the morning they would practice with a Japanese instructor their pronunciation, in the afternoon they would practice by themselves, getting used to the feeling. In the night everyone would retreat to bed and repeat the process the next morning.

The only difference was Hongbin having claimed Ken’s room, unaware of what was that kept him from going upstairs, but trying to avoid it at all cost.

Leo and Ravi acted normally around them. They would sit in front of each other while having breakfast and pass the jam and toasts. They would sit together on the studio’s sofa while looking at the lyrics and practicing. They would drive to the studio in amicable silence. They would talk to each other about what they were doing. But they wouldn't touch each other otherwise. Leo would retreat his hand as if he got burnt every time Ravi's and his fingers touched. Ravi would give a lame excuse and leave the room if they so much as met the other's eyes. It became obvious for everyone things weren't alright, whatever had happened to their members, it was killing them on the inside.

But then, when night came, Leo would walk past his room to Ravi's. Would push the other man to the side and take his spot, curling against the warm body until there wasn't a single centimeter separating them. He would sigh and let Ravi hug him so close they could almost become the same person. He would wake up in the middle of the night to Ravi staring at him in the darkness as he brushed his hair away from his face, or he would be startled by soft muffled sobs and warm tears dampening his shirt, forcing himself to breathe evenly and pretend he was still asleep, until he fell into slumber once again, his heart aching and beating so hard on his chest he felt as if he could drown on his own feelings.

***

When Leo woke up that morning the sky was still dark and he just wanted to press against Ravi’s warmth, but his body refused to let him rest.

Carefully he pushed Ravi's arm off his chest and made sure to cover the young man after he got out. He admired the angles on his sleepy face, knowing he wasn't getting caught any time now. The regal nose and long jawline, the pouty lips and the beautifully shaped eyes. Those arched eyebrows that could be so expressive when he was awake were now resting peacefully as his chest rose slowly, dark strands of hair falling on his face and making him look younger than he was. Leo seemed to forget Ravi was actually three years younger than him at times, but there was no denying when he looked so relaxed.

Shaking his head, he turned his back and walked out. He padded barefoot, hand feeling its way in the complete darkness, until he reached the first floor. He got reminded of that day a couple of months ago before all this mess happened. He remembered his only fear being unable to perform as fans deserved. Everything seemed so much easier back then, when his problems were if he could go home that weekend or he could skip chores at the dorm.

Those days were too far away now, Leo wasn't the same person he was back them. He had changed so much he was scared of himself, with the long silences that would accompany him or the sharp comments his head would provide at times. He wanted to go back and be ignorant as he was, go back to the day he had accepted Ravi and reject him, watch the younger man caress their leader as he did every morning and not feel like something was being torn inside of him.

He hated Ravi. He wanted to punch him so badly, hurt him as much as he had been hurt. He loved him so much… He wanted to kiss him and pretend it was real, pretend he was more than just some buddy he could fuck when he felt too horny to look out for someone. He wanted to be the only one.

Instead, every single morning he would wake up to N almost climbing Ravi and caressing him. He would see Ravi pretend he was uncomfortable before their eyes met, see him acknowledge his existence with another man on his lap. It made him furious but the pain inside him stopped him from reacting, walking past them to the fridge as he quickly blinked the tears away before facing everyone again.

He wasn't blind, he had noticed the tension on the table every time he joined them. He had noticed the rest of them act differently around him. N wouldn't nag him constantly and would actually stop members from joking around him. N was concerned, but was ignorant about the reason Leo was acting like this. He was unaware Leo's problem was actually him. Him having what he couldn't have.

Yet, while he pretended not to see, he could feel his eyes on him, trying to sort him out. Ravi would glance his way and frown, a pained expression crossing his face before turning his gaze away and starting a conversation with a member or walking away.

“What are you thinking, Wonsik?” Whispered Leo in the darkness as he was turning the corner.

He was actually surprised by a sound. Looking around in case a member had woken up and was thinking of going to the bathroom he found the corridor empty, complete silence suffocating him.

Shaking his head and sighing he walked back to the corner and was ready to walk to the kitchen when another muffled sound stopped him.

“Sssh.”

It took Leo a moment to understand what sounded like a cat's angry hiss was actually someone shushing someone.

Leo's back got tense as he stared at N’s door, his eyes narrowing until he could only see two lines through his eyes.

“Ah!”

There it was again. The muffled sound he had heard previously.

“Ssssh!”

Something cold has started to spread inside his chest turning the dull pain that never left him into an unbearable pressure against his ribcage.

Leo was not stupid, he knew what he was listening to. He knew Ravi was sleeping where he left him less than five minutes ago, yet his mind took him back to a couple of days ago, when he returned to the dorm without previous announce, back to the sounds that had ripped something in him, back to the betrayal and hurt and embarrassment and disgust.

He hadn't noticed he had fallen, his legs unable to keep him standing, a strangled sob threatening to tear past his throat in agony. He was reminded of the same words he had heard his subconscious providing before: “get out”.

He got up on shaky legs, resting his weight against the wall not to fall again. He had to leave now. He had already made out who N’s companion was, either way.

With slow and insecure steps he climbed back to the second floor, looking at Ravi's bedroom door before averting his gaze and turning to his room.

His bed was cold and felt wrong. There wasn't a soft and hard warm body to hold him as he laid curling on himself, not a steady heartbeat beating against his back, not slow breaths caressing the back of his neck. This room was devoid of life. Leo felt something die within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the fangirling...
> 
> LR'S COMEBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!  
> MY THROAT HURTS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE DYING CHOKING SOUNDS I MADE WHEN JELLYFISH UPLOADED THE TEASER.
> 
> WE'RE GETTING OUR TALENTED SUBUNIT MEMBERS BACK, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, I'M SO EXCITED! I literally run to write. We all know I will die the day they drop it. Which BTW, THEIR COMEBACK IS THE 28TH OF AUGUST, 6PM KST!!!
> 
> Are you ready???!!!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe how much I've cried because of all the beautiful comments you guys left me? Legit crying!!!

He thought he would never fall asleep but when he opened his eyes the sun had already disappeared on the horizon.

He didn't bother getting dressed, there was no point in it anymore since it was too late to get ready to leave to the studio for recording. He pushed a hoodie down his head and headed downstairs to the kitchen, thinking about cooking something for everyone as it was around the time they would return from there, instead he took a step back when he saw everyone laying down around the living room already in pajamas.

“Have you slept well, Daeguni?” Asked N with a soft smile.

Leo smiled bitterly. Shouldn't he ask that question? Had N enjoyed his sleep –or the lack thereof–?

“Why aren't you recording?” Was what he asked instead.

Four pair of eyes looked at him in amusement. Ravi was looking at his phone and hadn't raised his eyes a single time since he entered the room.

“Leo hyung,” laughed Ken, legs resting on N’s lap. “Is New Year's Eve today!”

Leo blinked in surprise, counting silently the days that have passed since they celebrated Christmas. He had spent almost a week pitying himself to the point he had forgotten about anything else. When had he called his family the last time? When had he had a proper conversation with any of the members? Leo lowered his head, ashamed of the way he had been acting.

“I didn't realise,” he whispered.

“We were about to send Hyuk to wake you up, it would be nice if we could see you at least once before the year ended.”

“Hey! Why me?” Protested Hyuk.

“Because you're the maknae!”

Leo looked at the group as they kept fighting over why it was the maknae’s job to go call Leo.

He looked around for a place to sit, but he could only see a free spot by Ravi, who had yet to acknowledge his presence. He looked at him for a long while before deciding to head to the kitchen and pick something to eat, a strange feeling sitting on his chest as he took step by step away from him.

As per usual, the fridge was almost empty, making him wonder what he could prepare or if he should just try to eat some cereals.

“Hey,” a hand on his back accompanied the soft greeting.

Leo tensed despite not wanting to. He ignored the soft touch and the presence as he kept pouring the food on a bowl.

“Taekwoon,” said more firmly this time N. “I know there's something bothering you, please, talk to me.”

Leo closed the cereal bag and dropped the spoon on the bowl, mixing the food together as he wondered what he should do, but N was known for being persistent. When he called his attention again, Leo just snapped.

“Can you stop pretending you give a shit?” Leo turned and pushed N’s hand away from him.

His voice hadn't been loud, he couldn't find the force to scream at him, but the tone was sharp enough to finally shut N’s mouth.

Both men looked at each other for a long while. N even kept quiet for the first time in long, finally paying attention to Leo. What he saw inside those dark brown eyes hurt him more than anything else. There was no hatred as he had seen that same month, days ago, but pain. So much pain that was trying to be contained that N hurt for his friend.

“Tell me,” N said softly. “What has been hurting you so much lately?”

N saw Leo avert his eyes and noticed the same bitter smile he had seen before cross the younger boy’s face. When Leo looked up again, eyes shiny with tears he wasn't letting go, the pain he had seen before seemed nothing in comparison.

“You.”

The words penetrated deep in N, who had to swallow the lump that was forming on his throat. He had to look down, to his hands, before looking back up. Leo was his friend. The only same age friend he had on VIXX. He had always loved and considered the others friends but there were things he knew could only trust to Leo. He had always trusted him with anything, no matter how difficult the situation was, he had always counted with Leo to support him or tell him he was being an idiot and show him why. No matter how much it could hurt them, he had to know.

“Tell me. Tell me everything.”

Leo looked up in surprise at those words. For a moment he expected N to turn into a mess, or worse, to scream at him. He was embarrassed for doubting him. N had always been there for him, like an annoying brother, always asking him questions and nagging like a mother, but had always been there in the end. He was here and he was hurt, but he was taking the risk, he wanted to fix something he probably couldn't even understand.

“I heard you.” At the silence that followed, N made a gesture for him to continue. “Yesterday. I heard you.” Leo's eyed his forgotten cereal in an attempt to avoid the other's eyes. “I was going to the kitchen but I heard you.”

“Oh–” N’s cheeks turned red in a way that complemented his skin before he laughed awkwardly. “I'm sorry you had to hear that, Taek. It wasn't our intention to–”

“I heard you a while ago as well.” Leo cut him. “During our vacations. I came a day sooner to check on you since you were probably bored, but you were apparently well accompanied.” The laugh that followed was dry.

Leo saw N close his eyes, many emotions crossing his face at the same time. Leo also looked in another direction and started to play with the spoon as the voices of the other members talking loudly reached them in low muffled sounds.

“Are you disgusted?”

N’s voice was lower than the others’, who stayed two rooms away, and Leo thought he had imagined it before N looked up at him with the most serious look he had ever seen the man keep. His face didn't show any other sign but seriousness, his lips weren't set in a hard line, nor were his eyes narrowed or his eyebrows pinched, it was plain and hid all the emotions, and the sight sent a shiver down Leo’s back.

“Yes.” He finally said.

He would lie to N, and he would lie to himself, if he said he wasn't at least a little bit disgusted by the other man’s behavior. No matter what he had made Ravi believe before, Leo couldn't bring himself to be in a relationship of any sort if he didn't feel anything for the other, and same way, he couldn't bring himself to have night stands with different people for the same reason. He couldn't say he was alright with it when he clearly wasn't, and N had asked him for the truth when he chose to talk to him. Leo had to tell him, tell him all, in order to solve their problem.

“I'm sorry,” said N finally.

“Huh?” Was the sound that left Leo's lips.

“I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but it's how I am.” There was a sad smile on N’s face. “It's who I have always been. I can't change it, but I can try to hide it better.”

Leo looked up at the ceiling and licked his lips nervously. He sighed as he thought of what to say next.

“You don't have to hide it. You don't have to change, but…” Leo tried to make eye contact with N. “You could do it out of the dorm.”

N looked up in surprise, and even a little bit of annoyance. He was quick to compose himself, though.

“You want us to get out of the dorm every time?”

“I didn't mean it like that.” Leo was starting to get annoyed as well. “I meant if you can do it with anyone outside of this group.”

“What the fuck, Taekwoon?” Screamed N.

N pushed away from Leo as if to calm down, not fully leaving the room but pacing around with his jaw set in a hard line. Leo saw him press his hands to his face in what seemed a mix of frustration and pain, before N turned to him.

“You think I would do this with just anyone?” At Leo's silence N huffed in disbelief. “Are you just disgusted because it's happening inside your group? Have you stopped a single moment to realise we might not be doing this because we're horny but because we actually care for each other?”

Leo stared at N in surprise and took a step back before frowning. He didn't know what to think anymore, his words kept being too harsh however he tried to word them. Should he just ignore his own feelings and make rotations between his members when one of them wasn't available at the moment?

“So just because I care for all the members should I have sex with all of them?” Spit back Leo.

“What are you even talking about, Taekwoon?” The frown in N’s face deepened as he stared at Leo.

“Maybe I will be horny in a couple of hours, so can you come up and suck my dick? Are you free?”

Leo didn't even see it coming, but he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was when N slapped him hard across the cheek with a loud sound.

“Fuck you, Taekwoon!” Said N in a hiss. “You think because I like men I'm a slut?”

“Aren't you, though?”

Leo would wonder where those words came from much later and regret ever voicing them. He wasn't the type to have open confrontations, much less with people he loved and respected, but his own pain muted everything in him and turned him into an arsehole, his own goal to hurt others as much as they hurt him.

“I don't have sex with Jaehwan because he is available all the time, you piece of shit.” Said N with a venomous voice that couldn't hide his hurt. “I love him.”

N blinked fast and looked at the floor as if confused at his own confession, silence falling between the two eldest members as he could listen to the other boys chatting still on the living room, a game being played.

“Then why–?” Leo pressed his eyes together to stop himself from crying. “Why do you have to fuck Wonsik as well if you already love Ken?”

His words were sharp but the voice he used was soft, so soft he could almost pretend he hadn't said it. His voice murmured on his head how not so subtle he had been. Way to go.

“Wha–? What even are you saying?”

“I told you, I heard you two when I came to the dorm on vacations.”

“You heard me with Jaehwan.” N’s mouth stayed open as he looked at Leo with confusion. “Jaehwan read I was alone so he came back the next morning to keep me company since everyone else was going to be out. Ravi didn't come until next morning, he probably clinged to his sister until the very last moment, protecting her from everything.”

“But he said…”

“Taek,” N’s hand on his face was soft now as he lifted his face to look at him. “Did you just…? How could you even think I did that with Ravi?” N’s voice carried so much amusement and disbelief that Leo felt like a naughty five year old being laughed at by his mother. “Everyone knows Ravi has something for you, how could you even think he would look at anyone but you?”

Leo's cheeks were a bright burning red as he tried to look anywhere else, but N's hand on his jaw kept him from looking away.

“Ravi doesn't have a–” Leo had to swallow the sudden dryness of his throat. “A thing for me.”

“Taek,” called N. “Taekwoon,” said more loudly N this time, effectively picking Leo’s attention back. “Ravi is been whipped by you since the moment he entered the company and you talked to him.”

Leo's heart was beating so fast on his chest he feared he was about to have a heart attack at any moment.

“Hak…”

“What are you even doing still here?”

N pushed him towards the kitchen door and motion him to walk and find Ravi. With a last push from N, Leo nodded in his direction and tried to hide the fact he was almost running when he entered the living room, ready to ask Ravi if they could talk in private, but only the two youngest and Ken were there.

“Leo hyung, help me,” said Hongbin from his place on the floor, where Hyuk had him trapped.

“Oh.” Said Leo, checking once again as if Ravi would appear around out of nowhere.

Leo saw Ken push away from the two loud kids and walk towards him, presumably to find N.

“He is upstairs,” said Ken in a low voice as he passed him, and he patted his arms.

Leo looked back to Ken's back as he approached N. N and him caressed each other's hand as N looked up at Ken with a brightness in his eyes Leo couldn't believe he had not noticed before.

Ashamed of his stalking behavior Leo walked past the two wrestling men, ignoring Hongbin’s pleadings, to reach the second floor. Hesitantly he stopped in front of the other man's door, taking a deep breath to calm himself before entering without knocking. He hadn't announced himself previously the nights he had joined Ravi before and he wasn't going to pretend anything had changed.

Inside the dark room, Leo made out Ravi's figure laying on his bed with his phone. It was obvious he had seen Leo open the door but, much as when they were in the living room, Ravi ignored his presence.

“Wonsik, I–”

“I don't wanna hear it.” Interrupted him Ravi.

“What are you…? I came to talk to you about–”

“Hyung,” said Ravi with an icy voice. “I don't want to hear it.” Leo saw Ravi push his phone down and their eyes met in the darkness despite the lack of light. “I don't want to hear whatever you have to say.”

It was actually the tone behind his words what made Leo realise it, not the words. As a matter of fact, Leo hadn't been able to understand what Ravi had said past the honorific. The other boy's voice was so cold he felt it cut through his newly gained happiness as his heart sank deep on his chest.

He was too late.

Ravi wouldn't want him back anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to write something happy but I'm starting to realise I'm either a demon or I don't really know the meaning of happiness. Damn, the angst is taking so much from me, when I write this I try to sort of "enter the character's feelings" and I've been suffering SO much with Leo, I can't!
> 
> Also, you see that pool of feelings around? That's melted me, who came from hell after seeing Leo's teasers. I've been blessed, y'all. Blessed!!!
> 
> Also, Jelpi, you think I'm made of gold??? I have the feeling they will release 3 album versions: L, R and LR. And here I am, hard Leo stan, suffering because I'm poor but I want Leo's version and Wontaek's version. We all know how much I need the Wontaek version in my life :') (in case I'm alright and there truly are 3 versions, of course)
> 
> Also please, really, don't kill me because of this chapter's ending from hell, I'm honestly going to try to stay alive (Ravi, you better stay clothed on your teasers, sir) for the next teasers (since I will be blogging about them I can't simply ignore them, my wig flew to exo planet eons ago (LOL the fandom h*e I am couldn't resist it, sowwy) R.I.P me).
> 
> Please, leave comments, I love comments, I survive out of comments. Comments are life, comments are love. Comments are the equivalent to all the kudos in the world (LOL, yes, I have lots of free time LMAO. Not really *cries*) <3 
> 
> Thanks to everyone once again. You're all beautiful people!
> 
>  
> 
> P.D: Also lmao I can't with ao3. I tried to put the updating date as August 16 (which already is here where I live, it's currently 1:13am) and it told me "publication date can't be in the future". I'm like T T


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for extra cursing and overuse of f*ck word and derived forms of it.

Both boys stayed in silence, Ravi still with his phone as Leo looked at him.

He had been stupid for so long he had believed their words when they said he might have an opportunity with Ravi. How could he have believed such a thing? It was obvious now, as he kept watching him, that Ravi couldn't be interested in the least. He just wished he hadn't believed he had a chance so when he discovered the truth it wouldn't hurt this much.

“You're right,” said Leo, his voice sounding more stable than he would have thought. “I'm sorry for bothering you.”

Leo didn't want to stay and possibly hear any word from Ravi that could prove him more than he was being annoying and dumb, so he turned as soon as he said those words and motioned to leave the room.

He was about to close the door behind himself when he heard a deep sound coming from behind him, barely giving him time to realise what was happening.

Suddenly, the knob under his hand was pushing away from his grip and motion. Surprised, he turned to see Ravi on the door, yanking it open, before he was flying in the air.

His back met the hard surface of the floor, sending pain over his already bruised muscles. He didn't have much time to think about the pain because Ravi was pouncing on him, his long and slim legs straddling him, his big hands closing around Leo's forearms in a tight, painful grip.

“Fuck you, Taekwoon!” Leo was so surprised he could barely notice the informal speech usage or his back pain or the pain on his arms as Ravi's fingers dug on his flesh. “Fuck you.”

“Wo–”

“Who do you think you are? What fucking gives you the right to do whatever you want every single day without thinking what the others will think?”

“Wons–”

“You think you can come snuggle with me every night? You think you can ignore me in the morning as if nothing happened? You think I will pretend this is alright for as long as you want it? Until you get bored and leave in the middle the night?” His hands were closed in such a hard grip Leo was starting to feel some numbness on his hands. “Do you ever think of anyone but yourself? Do you think of what your actions make others feel?”

“I–”

“You think you can just come here and say you're sorry? Leave as if nothing?” Ravi's screams were so low Leo had a problem listening to them over the sound of his heart and blood on his ears. “Are you so damn fucking heartless you can move on as if nothing?”

“Wonsik pl–”

“Shut up. Shut up!” His voice was so rough yet so low, so full of emotion that Leo snapped his mouth close. “I saw you be like this before. I saw you ditch everyone and be fine in the next week. You even said it yourself, you're the kind that doesn't look back and doesn't regret what's in the past. You will just move on on whatever happened to you without thinking about it. Tell me,” the pause between them felt like minutes as they looked at the other's eyes in the semi permanent darkness. “Were you trying to move on those past days? You finally got over it? Are you just going to pretend none of this has happened?”

“You're hurting me.”

Leo couldn't stand the unmasked hatred on the other's face, so he turned his head to the side, avoiding those dark eyes and the raw feelings behind them.

“You think I care?”

Ravi's words were even more hurtful but they didn't match his actions. As soon as Leo had told him, Ravi's grip on his arms had softened, still pinning him to the floor but leaving enough room for them to move a little and regain feeling on them.

“You're my friend, of course you care.”

At Leo's words this time Ravi pulled his hands away from his skin, moving to stand up and put distance between them. Leo considered it was his time to rant. Knocking Ravi's legs from the floor, he saw the younger man fall by his side on his arm, and he pushed him to roll on his back before straddling him like he had been moments ago.

“Taekwoon, get off now.”

“No,” said Leo, and if his voice was slightly affected none of them mentioned it. “It's my turn now.”

“Your turn for wh–?” Ravi was interrupted the same way he had interrupted Leo before.

“You think you can just come one day and decide you want to make me your fuck buddy? What if it hadn't been okay with me, would you have messed our friendship because you were horny?”

“I wasn't just horny. It wasn't just–” This time Leo didn't have to cut him, since Ravi was the one to close his mouth and avert his gaze.

“I made a mistake. I treated you like shit for no real reason, and for that I apologise. I thought N and you…” Leo shook his head before focusing back on Ravi. “It's not important. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know those words can't compensate for everything that has happened those past days, but I truly am. I'm really sorry.” Leo had to take a calming breath before continuing. “I'm sorry if I was rude to you, or if I ignored you. I'm sorry if I wasn't a good friend for you and I'm sorry I judged you. I was hurt as well and now I know I wasn't right to be, but I can't go back.”

Ravi laughed the moment Leo stopped talking. Leo was surprised at first, even a little mad because of it, until he noticed Ravi's body trembling under his and his laugher turn into silent sobs.

“You're forgiven,” was the soft words that left his mouth before Ravi pushed him off him.

Leo looked at him from the floor as he stood and walked to his bed, sitting there and picking some tissues to dry the couple of tears that were now rolling down his cheeks.

He couldn't understand what was making Ravi sad. What had he said to upset him?

Leo had done things the wrong way for a long while, and it still hurt him, but he was Ravi's friend in the end and Ravi deserved a friend now.

Standing up, Leo walked towards Ravi, sitting on the bed by his side until their shoulders bumped.

“Why does it feel as if you haven't forgiven me?”

Ravi snorted bitterly to his right and Leo turned to look at him. His eyes looked a little red but he looked composed already, his plush lips turned into a pout.

“What do you want from me, hyung?” Leo was starting to abhor that word coming from Ravi's mouth. “I know you're sorry, you have apologised, I accepted it.”

Leo looked at his profile, with those sharp cheeks and long jawline and the beautiful lips that were red from being bitten. He pushed down the urge to follow those lines with his fingers, it wasn't the time for it.

“I want it to be real.” Ravi only turned his face halfway to look at him. “I want to know you're forgiving me because you truly want to and not because you want me to leave you alone until you make up your mind. I just want to know I won't upset you more.”

“I can't.”

“Uh?” Leo could see he wasn't the only surprised one.

“I can't forgive you.” Ravi turned fully to look at him, his eyes tried to avoid him but he finally stared directly back at him. “Do you understand? I can't. Not yet.”

Silence fell on the room as both men looked at each other. Leo's eyes couldn't leave Ravi's, even when he just wanted to leave the room. Leo couldn't just leave, he could barely breathe at the moment as a whole conversation was exchanged in those gazes.

Leo was the first one to look away, down to Ravi's hand resting centimeters away from his on the mattress. Leo looked at the long digits as if he wanted to memorise them, so close for him to touch yet so untouchable.

He blinked slowly as he took a deep breath before raising his gaze to meet Ravi's sad eyes again. In the darkness Leo could barely make out the pupils and that scared him, he couldn't see everything and that made him nervous. Ravi could punch him at any moment, or start crying, and he would not be able to predict his future reaction.

“I understand.” Finally, Leo looked down to his lap and back to the door, where some light shone and illuminated his path out. “I'll be waiting.” He stood and walked to the door in silence, without looking back, feeling as if everything would end if he walked past the door. “Come down for the party or Hakyeon won't ever let it go, yeah?”

Leo didn't wait for an answer, he would not have received any anyway. He walked past the door and to the corridor, away from Ravi without looking back once.

Behind, Ravi stood with his cold hand stretched to the place Leo's had been a moment ago, where he had intended to stop the older man before those long legs took him away from him for what felt like forever.

Ravi closed his hand in a tight fist as he bit his lips, looking up to the ceiling in desperation as his eyes started to burn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gets on her knees and apologises profusely*  
> Okay, I think this actually needs an explanation. I was actually gonna be the worst human and end the story like this. Like literally go and mark the story as "complete". Then I realised you all have suffered enough so far, and didn't deserve my arsehole self. Not ending it here actually means more struggles for me to keep writing, but I think you all deserve better than this sh*t.
> 
> Now. I think it was during " A song for you", on LR's interview, that Leo confessed he was the type to not look back at past relationships. I try to incorporate realistic facts to make this story more "real" and true to them, ignoring the obvious shipper imagination of course. If we're being realistic, probably if Ravi kept everything for himself, eventually Leo would move on on the story and it would make sense for me to end it like this. But as a reader I hate open endings and bad/sad endings and about anything that doesn't make my ship end up together, so I will just satisfy my own fantasies because that's why I'm the writer, to make all this work to my own purposes :')
> 
> I'm still crying on the inside because at some point this story took a turn I wasn't predicting. Like literally this should have ended a couple of chapters ago... But like whatever, because I can't go back and redo everything. But I thought you might be interested in knowing this piece of information, idk, maybe not and you're skipping LMAO.
> 
> Anyways, I'm officially deceased because if you haven't been keeping track of all the LR updates, they basically dropped more pictures, album characteristics (a single version of the album, bless them, my wallet is crying in happiness), track song list, highlight medley and even some lyrics around to kill us all more.  
> And honestly, I don't even know why I'm surprised, I mean, this is VIXX. This is Ravi. But I'm still pretty much SHOOK and trying to understand what hit me. I mean... They said they wanted to sound more mature... But does that mean, Kim Wonsik, that you have to literally MOAN during 'Whisper'. BOI KEN YOU CALM DOWN????  
> *takes deep breath*  
> And thus I'm still pretty much attacked and I can't wait for the 28th to come so I can reach a new dimension in hell I thought I would never reach. Honestly, they better start writing fanfics for this comeback, you all writers hear me? You better :')
> 
> Also please, play 'Chocolatier' on my funeral.
> 
> BTW: Bless smol_succulent for making the sweetest (is actually very kinky yaaaaas) fanart ever for my story. I cried so much when I saw it, it's so beautiful, it's even more beautiful because you did it for me and I want to jump to you and hug you for it!!! <3


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all those comments, for all the weird and amazing conversations on Tumblr and all the support and motivation you guys bathe me in ♥

He stared at his screen for a really long time, eyes moving quickly once and again past the same words as if the meaning behind them would change if he focused long enough on them. He was aware of his mouth hanging open, his eyes blinking in surprise and disbelief as he snorted.

Finally, after his eyes threaten to start watering –because of the screen’s light, he had to remind himself–, he finally closed the mail he had spent almost an hour rereading. He pushed on his chair, his hands caressing involuntarily the cold tiles of the piano as he slid down and pushed his hand past his hair, a long sigh leaving him.

“This joke isn't even funny,” he said to no one in particular, for the room was empty.

He knew there was no meaning in staying there staring at his computer when he knew he would not get anything done, so he went to his room to pick up his jacket and phone and went downstairs, getting ready to leave.

“Shikkie,” called N as he walked past his room.

He really wasn't in the mood to speak to N, who would see something had upset him on his face the moment he turned it his way, but avoiding N those past months had proven even more counterproductive than not, so he turned towards the older man’s room and pushed his head past it enough to be seen.

“Yes?”

N was laying on the bed with his legs crossed at the ankles, a book resting on his lap as he looked him up and down with a frown forming.

“Is everything alright, Wonsik?”

The book was forgotten, pushed to the side as he sat on the bed, his body inclining towards him in interest, that knowing frown never leaving his face as his eyes zeroed on his face.

“Sure, yes.” He was lying to N and lying to himself, but he didn't have it on him to explain the reason. “Was going out to get some fresh air and relax a little, I've been working on this piece for too long.”

“Going out at,” he checked the clock on his nightstand unhelpfully. “Half past eight?”

Ravi took a breath to calm himself, which didn't go unnoticed to N. Of course it wouldn't. He also passed the tip of his tongue to his teeth, feeling the natural sharpness, the act so natural yet animalistic that it brought some sense of calm upon him.

“It’s not like everyone is here, or the dinner is made.” And although he intended it to be a low comment, N caught on it.

“Well, you could start cooking instead of complaining.”

“It's Ken hyung’s turn to cook,” he protested, almost sounding like a brat.

“Jaehwan is busy right now, but you're free.”

“Is he busy? Really?” He asked in a sarcastic way that was too dark to mean any good. “Are you hiding him under your bed? Because otherwise I don't know what he could be busy with.” The smirk at the end was completely unnecessary, but he couldn't help himself.

He didn't have much time to appreciate the flattering blush that spread over N’s cheeks before he was back to his book and ignoring him, telling him to close the door after him.

Ravi sighed once again as he closed the door, out of N’s view, closing his eyes at the dick move he had pulled a moment ago. He didn't want to think too much of it, he wanted to walk and just not think of anything, at least until he returned, when he would have to face Leo again.

He had felt so relieved three months ago when they had been announced Leo would join a musical. A musical meant hours of practice, and practice meant Ravi wouldn't have to see him that much. It had been difficult enough already having to go promote in Japan LR’s album less than two weeks after new year's eve’s catastrophe. Had been difficult enough sharing a room with Leo not being able to have a normal conversation that didn't threaten to end with them fighting, crying, fucking, or a mix of both. So when they had been announced the news, Ravi had been way too happy.

Eventually, the hype disappeared, giving way to a void inside him. He didn't want to believe he was missing Leo, but he was not stupid enough to mistake his feelings. He missed being able to go to him freely and ask for his opinion on something he had composed. A pang of some odd feelings attacked his chest as he remembered the awkward conversation they had during their Japan tour, alone in their room.

Ravi had been focused on his laptop and hadn't noticed Leo getting out of the shower and move to change right in front of him. Why would he hide? Ravi was too busy looking at the screen and mumbling incoherent things about grammar, and it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other before. Yet, when Ravi had looked up from the laptop to take a moment, he had found Leo's pale back right in front of him, a glimpse of the other man’s butt before he covered it with his underwear.

It had been uncomfortable for Ravi. Leo, on the other side, hadn't noticed the young man looking at him as his eyes clouded momentarily. He had noticed when Ravi had avoided his gaze until he had pried from him his uncertainty about the song he had been composing. Sitting so close to each other, Ravi could smell the deep notes of Leo’s expensive soap and, if he were to get closer, the faint smell of soft coffee that always seemed to come from within him at all times, accompanied by the humid and warm smell of clean skin. Ravi had to readjust the pillow on his lap where the laptop was resting at that point. Then it was just them breathing and the upbeat melody and nothingness, and Ravi would have given everything to stay like that forever; sadly, the song ended too fast and they were back to an awkward silence as Leo looked at him with that look he reserved only for Ravi's melodies, which he had never been able to decipher and made him feel angry and insecure and a tad bit shy. But also warm and hopeful and proud.

Ravi hated himself.

It had taken him longer than he had expected to finally write his own lines for their comeback songs, every single word that his hands wrote ended on the bin, until Hongbin, sweet and judging friend Hongbin, had irrupted in his studio and had taken what looked like a whole notebook worth pile of papers out of his bin, had dumped them on his working table and had gotten closer to him, his left hand digging into his shoulder as his mouth got closer to his face, showing two perfect rows of white teeth, with sweet dimples popping on his cheeks that didn't match the sharp look on his eyes.

“Whatever it is, pick one of those shits and deliver them by tomorrow, mate.”

He then patted his back, harder than necessary, and left the room, leaving Ravi alone on the studio, being a mix of messy perfectionism with a serious contained case of anxiety.

As rude and intimidating Hongbin had seemed at first, his friend's words had finally knocked the sense Ravi had been lacking and he ended rewriting the very first lines he had written days ago to make them sound better and fit with the melody.

Now he just had to wait for Leo's reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took FOREVEEEEEEEERRRRRRR
> 
> Some of you already know, some might not... I had written chapter 26 a while ago but the ending.. Let's just say the ending of the past chapter 26 (which got deleted and shall never be mentioned) was so cruel I even cried... So pretty much I decided no one deserved my bitchy self and did what anyone would do.
> 
> I don't know about the quality of this chapter, I had to take another perspective and also, writing from Ravi's point of view isn't as easy as it seems, had to hide a lot and I think I did as good as I can. I hope you guys like it, and if not, feel free to roast me in the comments LMAO. At this point I think it's very much obvious I love comments.
> 
> This is completely random, but: will let you all know the first chapter for the sequel to this has already been written LMAO, yet, 'Chained up together' is still very much not finished.  
> I will not post the sequel until I finish this story, because it might contain some SERIOUS spoilers at some point. Just wanted to leave this here :') so you don't think I'm just a lazy arse (which I totally am).
> 
> Really, sorry for taking so long to post just 1k words that won't help you discover any juicy facts :(((( 
> 
> ...  
> ......
> 
> LR ARE FREAKING KILLING ME WITH THEIR STAGES, THEIR FANSIGNS, THEIR UPLOADED PICTURES, THAT ASMR VIDEO WHERE LEO IS UNDRESSING RAVI, PLEASEEEEEEEE THINK OF MY POOR SOFT HEART TAKING ALL THIS :')))
> 
> ♥ Until next update (or you stalk me around)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, there are some links you guys TOTALLY need to check!
> 
> [Fanart inspired by 'Chained up together'](http://polyx.tumblr.com/post/165310269513/for-criminalmastermine-and-her-awsome-wontaek-fic)  
> This fanart was made by my precious eonni Po, who I met on the comment section here and I literally stalked on Tumblr. I cried when she told me she had something based on my story. This is so beautiful, the colours still blow my mind. You're an amazing artist, girl!!!
> 
> The other one is this story this another beautiful person (who I also stalk on Tumblr LMAO, bless you for making an account and letting me spam you and share inspiration mutually, hun!) gifted me. Someone GIFTED ME a fic. Is this heaven?  
> It's Wontaek so you should definitely check it!  
> ['A painful lie'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098751)
> 
>  
> 
> After my shameless promotion –please, love them– I will leave you guys to enjoy the chapter ^^
> 
> WARNING: this only has like 50% proofreading done. I was too done to do the rest myself. Thanks Po for reading it and pointing my mistakes ♥!

 He wasn't amused.

 

Leo almost threw his phone out of the window as he checked the message on his phone. Of course it had to arrive right now, and of course it had to be Ravi’s, because who else would send such a message to him?

 

The past two weeks had been full of awkward silences. Leo never thought he would hate silence that much in his life, yet there he was, disliking every second, feeling uncomfortable as he sat across from Ravi during breakfast, his skin itching to touch the smooth hand that crossed the table looking for chopsticks.

 

He still had his hand shoved down his pajama pants, the light of the screen the only point of light in the room, when the knock came. And after that, the door opening and Ravi walking fast into the room, anxiety rolling in waves out of his body.

 

“Haven't you gotten my text?”

 

Leo had the audacity to take his hand out and casually look like he had just woken up. And the surprise on his eyes wasn't even faked. How long had it been since Ravi talked to him directly? He couldn't remember, and that fact made him flinch.

 

“I did.”

 

Ravi's long legs shortened the distance between them in barely three steps. His left arm encaged him in bed, the hand so close to his skin he could almost feel the other's warmth. And he flexed. His face was suddenly too close to Leo's face, way too close, the two of them staring at each other. Minutes could have passed until Leo subconsciously swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and, suddenly, it was only Ravi and him, Ravi looking at his lips and mimicking his action as the room turned various degrees hotter and Leo's morning wood, which he had been in the process of getting rid of before Ravi intruded, was suddenly demanding attention. Ravi's attention.

 

He barely noticed their bodies moving on their own, almost as if orbiting around the other, but soon enough Leo was resting on his elbow in bed and Ravi's right hand had joined the left one on the mattress to be able to hold himself as he got closer.

 

Ravi's minty breath fanned him from above, and Leo didn't even have it on himself to think about having just woken up and not having brushed his teeth, he could only stare at those eyes with dark bags under them as the distance between them seemed to freeze. They were both breathing hard and they hadn't even touched the other.

 

Ravi was the first one to move, slowly rising his hand to cup Leo's full cheek, the act so sweet that left the older confused. His eyes fluttered closed, waiting for whatever was going to happen.

 

Yet, nothing happened. The moment Ravi moved, the sheet moved with him, the covers dragging heavily over his aching member so suddenly that Leo almost screamed from the sensation.

 

The pleasured noise coming out of Leo's mouth made Ravi drop his hand as if he had just realised what he was doing, and in a second Leo was cold again, even though his skin burned, with the distance between each other.

 

Ravi's hand rubbed his face, Leo had just a moment to realise he did it with the same hand he had previously used to hold him, before the rough voice surprised Leo again.

 

“Get dressed. You've got ten minutes.”

 

Leo stared in disbelief as he tried to avoid looking down to his lap, where most likely his erection was obvious and noticeable for anyone, despite the only light being the one coming from the hallway.

 

“I need to take a shower,” he said.

 

And probably a cold one.

 

“Five.”

 

It wasn't a suggestion, and Leo had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from messing things more. He would say he was ashamed of himself, but anyone with sexual interests would have reacted the same way at the hidden meaning behind Ravi's look and words before he left, leaving the door wide open: “you're not allowed to cum, I'm right here”.

 

After tripping over everything and nothing, he finally managed to put some clothes on. It was still cold outside but they would be on the recording room so he just picked a comfortable shirt and some jeans.

 

After getting down to the main floor, though, he wondered if the jeans had been a good option. He patted the material and, even in the solitude of the hallway, he subtly readjusted the crotch area, his teeth biting down the soundless expression.

 

Ravi was there waiting for him laying on the sofa when he entered the living room, his mouth now tasting fresh and his skin still slightly damp.

 

“Six,” said Ravi as he stood and walked towards him.

 

“What?”

 

“Six minutes.”

 

Leo felt a shiver travel his body, curling on his low abdomen as it subsided.

 

Ravi had whispered those two words as he bumped against him while walking out. Leo blinked slowly to the empty space the younger man had been resting on moments before, trying to put himself together, because lately he had been wondering if what he wanted was to punch Ravi on the face or to fuck him right there and then.

 

Leo had to psychically shake his head when he was called, Ravi holding the elevator’s door open as a masked look fixed on him. He followed him out, making sure to lock the door, taking his time to do so, loving it when he heard Ravi’s annoyed “tsk”.

 

And then they were trapped inside the metal cage, and Ravi was on his phone, most likely writing back to one of the members judging by the frown and the speed of his typing. And Leo wasn't looking at those elegant fingers expertly move over the broken screen of Ravi's phone, they weren't, nor was his dick still seeking attention of that huge palm or his lips missing the warm breaths that had been fanning him less than ten minutes ago.

 

“You know, for someone who took his sweet time to write and rearrange again the songs, you're being a little too impatient with the rest of us.”

 

He regretted those words the second they were out. It was mean of him to judge Ravi for not being able to come up with something. Leo had composed and written lyrics before, it definitely wasn't an easy task, inspiration not always came quick… Sometimes, inspiration didn't come at all, so for him to voice his complains about it was just dirty. Moreover, the lyrics VIXX were making their comeback with hit a little bit too close to home for their own good.

 

Two days ago, he had come back to the dorm after practice for his musical to find printed copies of the new three songs and an e-mail explaining the concept and the trilogy idea they would be immersing themselves in for the next year.

 

Upon reading the lyrics to their title track some cold sweat had already started to form on his skin and he had to sit down on the bed to read the concept. His uneasiness did nothing but increase as he found the jealousy and break up concept rubbing right on his still hurt feelings.

 

Leo sighed and provided a lame apology as the doors finally slid open, but Ravi didn't acknowledge them as he walked in front of him, getting closer to the taxi that was waiting in front of the apartment.

 

Their ride got frustrated by morning traffic and the tension forming on the small space was starting to be obvious. Leo had caught the driver sending them looks and he had to turn his head away in embarrassment like a child being caught doing something naughty. He tried to occupy himself looking out of the window to the busy street full of students and workers rushing to reach on time.

 

He hadn't realised he had been lost in thoughts until he heard the snap of a seat belt and felt that hot hand setting on his thigh, a little too high for Leo's libido to precess, Ravi's warmth suddenly by his right side.

 

“Here,” said Ravi, then.

 

The earphones seemed innocent enough as Ravi's other hand tried to untangle the mess they had become. He took the right one and caressed the R imprinted on the back of it softly before he put it on, the upbeat melody of ‘Dynamite’ surrounding him. He could almost feel where every note fell, the lyrics falling on their place, his voice straining in a way he adored and lived for.

 

All thoughts about the happy sounding melody vanished when Ravi's hand returned to his thigh, half an inch higher, fingers loose enough around the meaty area that Leo could almost pretend it was just for comfort. At least until his thumb started moving on slow and deliberate circles on the inner part, close to where Leo's artery was pumping blood frantically, needing that hand close to the member that never fully softened.

 

He bit down on his lip to muffle the high sound that he couldn't allow escape and turned to the side again to stare outside the window. He didn't see anything as they passed by the streets slowly, he didn't listen to a single thing, all his attention was focused on the spot where that rough finger and hot hand still laid, lazily tempting him.

 

Glad for the first time on the day for wearing tight jeans that concealed his aching member, Leo turned to Ravi.

 

His eyes avoided the other boy's, his actions lazy enough to pretend they were casual. His own hand crossed the line between them towards Ravi's thigh. His fingers met the other hand's fingers and lingered a second longer than they should after retrieving the other's phone. If the back of his hand caressed Ravi's own erection, which he found then, and if his lips turned up the slightliest bit he would not acknowledge it.

 

He was playing with fire in there and so was Ravi and Leo just prayed they wouldn't burn at the end.

 

The ride seemed to never end but, finally, they arrived at the studio. Leo caught N’s hawk’s eyes checking them from head to toe, and the simple action that would have annoyed him a couple of months ago, when he had mistook the situation completely, now embarrassed him because he knew his cheeks were still tinted pink and now that they were both standing it was hard to hide his arousal.

 

Leo ignored N the rest of the day, the other man's silent questions as the other members practiced or played games on their phones, glad their official group’s mother wasn't nagging them, would have to wait for Leo himself didn't have the answers to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hope you guys read this :')
> 
> I am NOT hiatusing ever on this story. Never ever. I love this story because it's my baby. I cringe more than Hongbin when I have to reread it, but I love it nonetheless.
> 
> Yet, my life those past months has been a complete mess. I won't spam you with my problems, I don't feel like it and I don't think you want to read it all. The thing is, sometimes I'm really feeling down.  
> During those times I want to continue writing but I fear I will end up turning this story more angsty than it should. That's not what I want, I wish I could give it a happy ending, it deserves it. There's a sequel I already started but that I won't post until this is finished. I do sometimes spend time writing on it, or plotting my next evil strike around there.  
> I know some of you really like this story (it still amazes me, because really, cringy) and OMG do I love it when you leave beautiful comments for me to read. But know that sometimes it will take some time to put my real life together and some time to be able to sit down and type something that's not saaaaaaad as heck.  
> I love you all so much for reading, duenidneikwjdd so many feelings when I answer your messages. So please, have me some patience. My school started (I can't believe yet I was accepted, YAY, I cry) and the INTENSIVE language lessons are bending my back to the not so funny books. The fact that I'm studying this language real hard to get my title already (sobs) makes English so much more difficult. The multilingual life is so hard, LOL.
> 
> I'm still mentally recovering from the gay fest 'Whisper' was, bless our boys ♥, so if you guys spotted the references I will give you a virtual cookie!!!
> 
> I also FINALLY got my Whisper album. I cry so much, the package was took on the airport and I had to deal with so much cr*p and had to pay so much extra money, I'm so poor right now... But I finally got Beautiful Liar and Whisper (guess what? I got Ravi's photocard... My UB is Leo... Anyways, I love baby Shikkie a lot as well) and another two albums (Dreamcatcher's 'Prequel' and VICTON's 'Ready', in case you're curious).
> 
> I'm a happy kimbap roll ^^
> 
> I hope you guys liked the story  
> ... Now spam me messages *-* LMAO


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is barely proofread, so any mistake (as the rest here) are all my uneducated self's fault :')
> 
> I'm not sorry at all for this.
> 
> Enjoy ♥

Leo huffed against his hand as fingers caressed his chest, sending shivers down his arched back. His cock was already hard and dripping, his chest flushed and hot still covered in goosebumps, his legs trembled from the strain keeping his hips on that particular angle was causing. But he needed more so he planted his feet flat on the mattress, chasing the pleasure.

 

He had to bite his hand, bite his lips and tongue to keep from screaming obscenities. He wanted it so much, his body was craving it, the sweet snap and the completion, lax muscles and a wave of bliss washing over him as sweat dried on his skin.

 

_ He needed it. _

 

He repositioned his hips once again, adjusting himself in search of a less awkward angle. Like this, his abdominals protested and warned him against it, but he was enjoying the pang of pain shooting lazily to his lower body just as much as the ministrations even lower.

 

He choked on a moan and his thighs shook as the nerve inside of him was touched almost hesitantly. His cock got even harder than before, which he had believed impossible, and a new pearly drop made its tantalising path down his severely unattended member, which had acquired a worrisome purplish colour as days passed.

 

He was so close, he barely breathed as he got closer and closer to finishing, his tongue was already forming a name on their own without him thinking. If he could just–

 

Of course that was the perfect moment for the knock to come. He winced as he hastily removed his fingers from his hole, quick enough to cover himself with the blankets and turn his back to the opening door.

 

No sound came from the intrude. He was already expecting the door to close and for him to be able to finish what he started but the sound of footsteps getting closer to the bed made his spine straighten.

 

The fingers were soft as they carded through his damp hair, the sweat on his neck was cooling, his breathing was still hard as he tried to regain composure.

 

“Taekwoon–”

 

Ravi's voice was sweeter than his scent, the caress on his hair suddenly was making him pulse harder between his legs. He willed himself to keep quiet even if he felt like begging him to keep talking, keep touching him, keep calling his name, keep everything. Leo was slowly losing his mind.

 

“Taekwoon~”, called Ravi again, this time with a cheerful tone that made every hair on Leo's body stand on end.

 

He closed his eyes tighter, pretending not to hear those deep whispers, pretending his breath wasn't cooling the sweat on his skin in a delicious way, pretending his fingers weren't massaging his scalp. He could feel one of his knees sinking on the mattress. He could feel the other hand playing with the blanket that covered his naked and flushed skin. He was quickly losing his mind.

 

“Taekwoon,” his voice was impish, cruel and mocking while maintaining part of his softness. “Taekwoon, I know you're awake.” Leo swallowed the dryness on his throat as those fingers moved closer to him. “I know what you were doing. I can smell it on you. I could taste it from the very door.”

 

Leo couldn't keep his voice to himself anymore and let out an embarrassingly high pitched whimper as Ravi's hot fingers drew circles on his navel, his breath right on his right ear.

 

“You know”, another twist of his thumb. “If you're gonna masturbate make sure to, at least, hide the bottle of lube.”

 

Ravi's knuckles rubbed him accidentally as his hips tried to push him, away or closer he wasn't sure. Leo's eyes were still closed, not in pretense but in inability to open anymore, as he panted hard and took air in between hisses.

 

“Tell me, when was the last time you cum?” Leo kept quiet, stubbornly trying to bite his tongue from answering him. “Answer me, Taekwoon. When?” The question was accompanied by a tug on his hair.

 

“I don't know,” he let out in a strained voice.

 

“You don't know means you have been a good boy and haven't touched yourself like I implied you should have done three weeks ago? Or does it mean I've been interrupting you for this period of time because you're a naughty horny one?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

The curse would have been more efficient if he hadn't groaned as his sensitive scalp was mistreated again. He was trying to keep the composure but he could feel any remaining sanity abandoning him as the other's voice kept ordering, questioning and guiding him through a path of madness he was too tempted to embrace. He wanted to let Ravi drive him crazy physically as much as the younger man had messed his head. His skin burnt to feel those fingers on it as much as his heart had ached for months for more than friendly words and accidental touches. His whole essence was asking him to let himself be pushed on whichever direction he was being led.

 

“You would love that, wouldn't you?” Ravi's impish tone had turned almost cruel as his fingers tangled deeper on his soft hair. “I might grant your wish if you ask for it.”

 

Leo's jaw hardened at the other man's playful dark voice. He swallowed and his throat hurt. He moistened his lips with a dry tongue that was followed by the other man's predatory eyes, oblivious to the older man who kept his eyes tightly shut.

 

“I'm not a fucking object of yours to do with me as you please,” he snapped, opening eyes of blown pupils and meeting equally dark eyes that zeroed on his.

 

“You are not,” there was a sudden sad look on Ravi's eyes before he took him on his hand and Leo's eyes could only shut tightly once again, the other man's face disappearing from sight, but never from his mind.

 

There was a tense moment when Ravi only held him on his fist and Ravi's breath stuttered while Leo's fully stopped, when their eyes met as if for the first time, Ravi's wide open, Leo's almost unable to keep them open long enough. And lastly, Ravi's voice, like Leo hadn't heard before, so wrecked it would have been able to end the torture right then.

 

“Where's the lube?”

 

Leo stared dumbly at Ravi's suddenly wild eyes. He could see the other man almost vibrate on his back, his knee sinking in deeper and closer to him, his whole body cornering him against the bed and wall, like he had done before, his lips dark red around the place he had had his teeth on moments ago.

 

Leo looked at him and although his whole skin was already flushed pink from arousal he still felt the new blush spread over his cheeks as his lashes projected shadows on his pale, pink tinted cheeks.

 

The sound that left Ravi was not a human one. He pounced, the echo of the growl still reverberating around them. Leo felt the sudden cold bite his naked skin before Ravi's warmth protected it from the worst part of it. Naturally, one of Leo's leg circled Ravi's hip and pushed him down but Ravi wasn't going with him, wasn't looking at his face, couldn't even breathe.

 

“‘Sik,” hissed Leo.

 

Although Leo had used lube to open himself before, Ravi's fingers were still dry, and the surprise of it made Leo throw his head back against the pillow with force, the obscene sound he tried to contain completely on the open.

 

“Oh fuck,” said Ravi before smashing their mouths together.

 

The angle wasn't quite the right one, Leo's teeth had most likely hurt Ravi, yet they abandoned themselves on each other's mouths, Leo's hands raising to press him closer to him, his fingers finding their place on Ravi's nape, thumb slowly caressing the elegant curve of it. And then it was just their pleasured muffled sounds and the filthy squelching noise from where Ravi's fingers fucked him hard and Leo seeking friction from Ravi and their mouths kissing and sucking on the other's lips, tongues, chins, anywhere they could reach and their passion and arousals colliding and rising for the first time in a long time, all the tension exploding in the roughness of the act.

 

Leo needed it, had needed it for a long time now. His insides felt whole again as he tried to suck the passion out of the other man, as his lungs felt full for the first time in long even though he was barely breathing between kisses. And his heart. His heart ached in a completely different way to the one that had killed him for months already. He knew it wouldn't last, so he milked the emotion as much as he could as he neared his orgasm.

 

“Sorry to interrupt but are you getting ready for the recording? The rest of us didn't even have time to fap when you came screaming around, Ravi. And don't be so fucking loud.”

 

The door had opened and closed in a matter of ten second, while Ken stated his facts, then left.

 

Ravi and him separated from each other only once the door had closed, the other man’s steps retreating on his way to the main floor. Suddenly, they were aware once again of their surroundings, their loud sounds on a full apartment, their imprudent actions.

 

Ravi was, obviously, the first one to make a move. He almost jumped on his way of getting away from Leo as quickly as possible. Leo could already feel the pain that would remind him for the next whole day of what had just happened between them moments ago.

  
His heart was back to hurting once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading SO many beautiful comments two past couple of days, I was feeling so happy that so many people actually enjoyed my cringy story and terrible grammar. As I kept reading I had more and more ideas. Then I've pushed them all together for those past 5 hours or so. And voilà~
> 
> Really, though, I read this like once before posting, because I was feeling in the mood for it and if I let it wait I would modify everything XD
> 
> I had so much fun writing this chapter. I can't remember a chapter making me enjoy writing so much in a while, so I hope it didn't suck too much :')
> 
> I'm motivated as well (though we will see how long this lasts) since I want to participate on NaNoWriMo next month and wanna start fresh and new, mwhahaha. I know I keep spamming around about the sequel, but I'm just excited. I keep writing down new ideas every day. I'm a monster XD.
> 
> Really though, I hope this wasn't too cringy :') I can't smut at all. I promised myself I wasn't writing more smut. But oh well, this needed some actual fun tehehehehe.  
> And by this I actually mean at this point it seems the only communication those two can do is of the physical sort, so yeah, we just had a really meaningful thing going on here. Please, I do plan this story, this is not plotless p0rn LOL (but it is plotless porn as well, just saying).
> 
> Okay, I'm making no sense and no one cares about my crazy self.
> 
> I want to thank here to every single one of you who left a beautiful comment so far, especially to those 10 gorgeous ones that particularly inspired me this week.  
> To Po, Foxxi and Hwitaek, who stood my annoying spamming self on Tumblr this whole week LOL. You're all free to come spam me on Tumblr BTW, I'm (LOL don't you say) criminalmastermine. I really love "gay" kpop spam. Spam me please. Spam me my babies. I don't have friends XD (not that spam me gay stuff at least).
> 
> Okay, I'm being extra emo right now so sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoyed the chapter though ♥


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for being so patient with my long a** hiatus. I'm so busy and demotivated lately, sorry. I hope you enjoy the chapter ^^(even if it sucks *cough*)

Once he had gotten ready, pretending the cold shower was his idea and not the last burning stare from Ravi warning him against it, they had sat on the car and let themselves be driven to the studio.

 

Leo could feel his skin prickling with cold sweat in anticipation mixed with fear. Their concept had already pushed their limits, the tension between both men had been growing until it was almost palpable, the rest of the members either unaware or ignoring it.

 

Ravi was an incredibly hard working young man, he would sit on the recording room's chair and order them around, an unique talent that came naturally to him. He would lead them from a toneless pitch to a gorgeous composition, create and perfect whatever was on his hands.

 

Leo loved that kind of attention, when those dark eyes focused on him and saw more than his persona, he saw the raw talent and manipulated it. And Leo let him, let him while biting his lips against the arousal hiding on his clothes only the two of them were aware of. For a couple of minutes Ravi would order him around and Leo would dream of coming undone just by it, his next line delivered with more emotion than the previous one and, while doing so, he pretended the other man's eyes on him were only professional, he pretended nothing happened between them that same morning, because that was what Ravi wanted and Leo wanted Ravi to be happy.

 

But Leo would never make Ravi happy. Hiding from the cameras or his friends wasn't what neither of them asked for and he would follow the other man's decision even if it meant he would hurt for awhile.

 

After the recording, Leo had ignored everyone and gone to his parents’ house. He let his mother embrace him in warm familiarity as he curled to fit on her shoulder. For the next two hours he pretended he wasn't a grown up, he pretended he wasn't a famous singer, he pretended he didn't have responsibilities awaiting him and let himself calm with the woman he loved the most.

 

Leo didn't explain anything to his mother and she didn't pry information from him, but he recognised the look on her face, the one that said she would always be there for him if he wanted to talk about it.

 

When he hugged her on his way to the door, kissed her cheek with a soft goodbye and turned, he didn't pretend to be surprised to find the black van waiting for him, he simply walked and opened the door when he found it unlocked, sitting by the driver.

 

They sat in silence for so long Leo thought the other had missed his arrival, the long and slim hands gripping the wheel in a loose hold.

 

“Aren't you driving us back?”

 

“Fasten your fucking seatbelt.”

 

Leo wasn't even surprised at the younger man's choice of words and was tired enough to fight back the quite disrespectful way he used to talk to him.

 

“There,” he said once it was neatly fastened. “Why did you come pick me up? How did you even know I would be here?”

 

“Hyung, please. You always run here when you're like that.”

 

The car purred under them coming back to life and the other man guided it from where it was parked to the road, on a familiar path.

 

“When I'm like what?”

 

Leo hadn't intended to sound so aggressive. He took a short breath before repeating the question, softer this time, with some regret pitching his voice at the end.

 

“A fucking mess.”

 

And just like that, he was at a loss for words. He knew the other man had a potty mouth and a direct way of speaking that could get close to abrasive at times, although he hid it well, but the words stung deep.

 

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he tried to deny.

 

“Please Taekwoon, do yourself a favour and admit you have been acting like shit for the past couple of months. I know why you’ve been like this and, quite honestly, you're so fucking stupid.” They had stopped on a red light and suddenly those knowing eyes were judging him and mocking him. “Are you going to pretend you're innocent? Gonna try to disagree with me and act like everyone at the dorm are imagining how fucked up things have been between Wonsik and you? Just how dense do you think we are? We have eyes, and mine saw everything they needed and quite a bit more this very morning,  _ fuck you very much _ . This,” he said with a vague gesture as he turned his eyes back on the road before placing the hand on the hand brake comfortably. “This needs to bloody stop. I don't care if you come to a peaceful agreement or if you shake your anger away fucking him raw, but whatever it is you two decide, fucking fix this damn awkwardness and tension or so help me.”

 

The silence that fell upon the vehicle was ecstatic with awkwardness and regret, but none of them opened their mouths for a while as the younger took them back to the dorm.

 

“I don't–” Leo's voice cracked and he had to cough before talking again. “I really don't know how to fix this. Every time I try to do something about it we end up worse than before. And just when I think things are getting back to normal I fuck it up somehow.”

 

He could feel the brief look of the other man before his eyes were back on the car in front of them. Leo smiled bitterly as he didn't feel it reach his eyes and turned his face towards the street when he felt his eyes water.

 

“I'm really not good with those things…” Leo muffled a snort. “But maybe you should try to talk to Hakyeon hyung. He's a good listener and gives good advice. Besides, we both know he won't stop nagging you until you spill it.”

 

“I guess I should. It's just so confusing and embarrassing and frustrating,” he groaned. “I don't know how Hakyeon and you manage to make it look so simple.”

 

To his left, warm chocolate eyes narrowed in mirth as the boy's full mouth curved asymmetrically in childish fascination and glee.

 

“It's simple for us: we fuck and go back to being cool about it. Wonsik and you are like preteen girls pinning over the most popular boy in the school. If it were not quite hilarious it would be plain disgusting.”

 

Leo frowned but let it go, silence and the occasional comment about the comeback drifting back and forth the rest of the drive to the dorm. They were already in front of the dorm’s door, keys already turning on the lock, when Leo dared speak again:

 

“Jaehwan… thank you.”

 

“Don't even mention it, I enjoyed cursing you enough.”

 

Leo threw himself over Ken at the same time the door was opened from inside and both men went down, Leo's elbow missing Ken's ribs by inches.

 

After the long tense conversation and atmosphere from the car, both found the situation hilarious, breaking into giggles; Leo's soft breathy laugh rising over Ken's silent chuckles as the older laid over the blond man, his chin resting on his shoulder as they shook with laughter.

 

“Invite the rest of us to the pot party next time, geez.” Came the voice of Hyuk as he got further. “Hey, hyung, fetch those two and tell Leo hyung to cook something.” The ‘thanks’ at the end came as a second thought.

 

“Oh, good, you're ba–” Ravi's voice stopped abruptly.

 

Leo froze over Ken, where he had been trying to look murderous as he got tickled, failing miserably. When he looked up to Ravi he found a cold expression that was quickly replaced by nonchalance as he retreated to the living room with a mumbled ‘welcome’.

 

Leo groaned, finally removing himself from Ken, only to sit with his back to the now closed entrance door. Ken patted some dust from his sleeve and removed his shoes in silence, stealing glances at the older one.

 

“See? Whenever things seem to be better something changes and there's this awkwardness and it's so confusing. It's so exhausting it's almost physically painful.”

 

“As I said, hyung, preteens. You two will solve it, I'm sure, but talk to Hakyeon. He will want to know you trust him with this. He will also be more helpful, hopefully.”

  
Leo sighed and nodded at the other main vocalist as he took his shoes off and placed them with the others, already thinking what he would cook for the members.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL, I love Jaehwan. I love how despite being the LOUDEST person ever his laugh is so soft and silent, and how although he is such a cutie pie he curses like a sailor and is a little devil screaming brands while recording so they have to censor him XD.
> 
> I guess you can take this as a little look into Ken's personality. I will probably be uploading the sequel any time soon (before Christmas) to see how people like it.
> 
> Dumb me started yet another story (although I really can't regret it enough) and if you read that "not an update" thingie I posted the other day you will know some of it. Anyways, no rush with that, it's a second thought (along with my many prompts). The more I chat on Tumblr the more evil ideas I get. It's exhilarating and I love it ♥.
> 
> Although I cannot promise it at all, I hope I can see you again soon with a new update. This story already has an ending planned (finally), now I just need to make sure no other plot twist messes it. A G A I N.
> 
> Throw pumpkin filling's at me on the comments if you hate me for this, LOL.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry~

Leo might be a little airhead at times, but he was not stupid. Ravi was avoiding him.

 

He pretended he heard what the director was telling him about, the actress nodding on his left and the kids jumping around loudly so they could catch him acting, while N told them to stay quiet, but Ravi's head never popped over the set’s border although he could hear his loud laugh as he pestered Ken with compliments.

 

With a silent sigh he pushed himself to soften his face as he repeated the scene for a third time, ignoring the noises not far away and holding the woman's hand dedicatedly.

 

VIXX were recording the music video for their next comeback, Dynamite. The cheerful sounding song played on the building as the lights shone on Leo's eyes. He was directed this and that way, told to hold her hand stronger or softer, to look more fierce or stop frowning. The stylists and make-up artists checking on him after every shot so his skin looked made of porcelain over the uncomfortable feeling of the cold sweat, his hair combed with more gel so it stayed right where it needed to. A soft voice guiding his face to the right or left before nodding and recording another scene.

 

When they were told to take a break, Leo almost moaned in relief, dumping his whole weight on a weak looking chair, his legs sprawled and his head resting precariously on the corner of the metal as he sighed long and deep.

 

“Here.”

 

He was surprised for a single second at the sudden cold on his neck before he opened his eyes to see N towering over him with a gentle smile on his face.

 

He accepted the water bottle with a truthful and soft “thanks” before unscrewing the cap and chugging some of the deliciously cold water, releasing another pleasured sound as he sat straighter and resting his head on the wall now.

 

He sensed N moving on his left before he heard him dropping on the chair, his own bottle being opened and silently drinking. Leo appreciated the silence and knew N wasn't going to ask him. He suspected he had talked about it already with Ken the other night, he had seen them whispering to each other after he had gone to the kitchen the day after the song recording, when Ken had picked him up from his parents’ house.

 

That day he had also realised he’d been completely blind, seeing as N moved his thumb on absentminded circles over Ken's exposed wrist, his eyes fixed on his face, travelling from the big eyes to the plump lips as Ken smirked and turned his arm from the touch to rest too high on the leader's thigh to be considered appropriate.

 

They were  _ subtle _ , nothing in their behavior screamed anything but close friends, unless you were looking for the clear signs, like the soft touches, their wandering gazes, the hand Leo almost missed that caressed for a second between the older one’s legs, Leo's cheeks and ears burning as he averted his curious eyes, not before catching the look N directed at Ken: a warning, but also lust and longing as his lips barely parted in a silent sound.

 

Leo wanted that, the familiar touches of acceptance, he craved them as he wet his lips to clean some of the sauce from his face as they had dinner on the sofa, too tired to sit on the table.

 

For the next week it was almost impossible for him to not notice their interactions and he was starting to feel like a creep, but he also noticed something clearly off, something he could not put his finger over, so he forced himself to avert his eyes from the intimate scenes, going back to his phone, or starting a conversation with Hongbin and Hyuk if they were close.

 

“I'm glad it's going so well, I seriously need a shower to remove all of this,” murmured Leo with the bottle's rim pressed to his lips.

 

“I feel you, dude,” slurred N with exhaustion. “Can't wait to hit the bed for a couple hours. I can barely feel my calves anymore.”

 

Leo chuckled as he crossed his legs and darted a look at his friend. N was trying to rub his tired eyes without smudging his make-up, not truly accomplishing the task.

 

“Hakyeon…”

 

N's eyes turned to him, a question on his eyes as he drank from the bottle. When it was clear Leo was not continuing, he inquired:

 

“Yes…?”

 

With a sigh he fixed his tired eyes on the excited forms of Ken and Hyuk playing around. Hongbin and Ravi were watching them and Leo could see Ravi's lips moving to praise the blond even from that far.

 

“I love him.”

 

Leo never turned his eyes away from the rapper as he joined the loud kids, but saw from the corner of his eyes as N snapped his head to him fast enough to make him put a hand on his forehead at the sudden dizziness.

 

Despite the heavy words floating between them, they kept silent as they used their free time to keep eating.

 

“Tell him,” said N, finally.

 

“The same way you told Jaehwan?”

 

Leo's tone was harsh, but N knew it was for the bitterness his friend felt over his own situation and not because he was angry at him. He was angry at himself and he could understand his feelings all too well, he had felt them creep inside him before and knew its taste.

 

“I haven't told him because I'm certain of his answer. Wonsik loves you, Taekwoon, you have to be blind not to see it.”

 

Leo blinked at N as he picked some of his food and ate, his mind completely on another place as he thought about what the leader had told him.

 

Ravi liked him, the same way he liked the rest of the members. He always complimented Ken and everyone agreed Hongbin was incredibly handsome, he would open the door more than once at their previous dorm to find him and Hyuk cuddling over their snores. But love?

 

Leo focused his sight on N when he felt fingers on his face, his friend's face too close to his own, making him nervous at the sudden proximity and the intensity of his gaze.

 

“Hak–”

 

Before Leo could finish the question he felt soft lips closing over his bottom one, a tongue quickly darting out to lap at it. Leo's eyes were open while N's were comfortably closed, his lips moving gently over his, coaxing Leo to move against him.

 

It wasn't uncomfortable, it was familiar and soft and warm and one of the nicest kisses Leo’d had. When he opened up for N’s tongue to lick at his it didn't feel wrong, he could feel the same sauce on the other's tongue as the one he had been licking from his mouth before as they moved together with almost laziness, it felt good to be kissed so tenderly.

 

It was definitely not uncomfortable, but Leo didn't feel the heat he felt when Ravi's lips so much as brushed against his, didn't feel the need to surge forward and deepen the kiss, didn't want to move his hands and tangle them on the other's hair and clothes and dig his nails on soft flesh over hard muscles. Leo didn't feel anything at all as N and him kissed, the sounds of the people on set loud and clear, completely conscious of the chopsticks sliding on the food that rested on his lap. Utterly aware of the abrupt shout that reached them before N’s lips were all but ripped from his own.

 

At some point Leo had closed his eyes, more for comfort than the pleasure making him, as watching the other's lashes from so close was making his eyes hurt. When he opened them again after the sudden intrusion he found Ken gripping N with a look Leo had never seen on the younger boy.

 

“We should go back to recording,” said Ken.

 

The voice was unnaturally deep and his light eyes were as cold as ice as he dragged N away, the leader's food scattered on the floor from the sudden tug.

 

When Leo raised his eyes from the floor they connected with Ravi's for the shortest moment, the younger’s gaze so open he had been able to see the hurt dancing on its depths.

 

Suddenly N’s voice was louder than ever: “he loves you”.

  
Leo abandoned his food even if they still had a couple of minutes left, his appetite completely gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubwjenekenr yell at me, I deserve it, but I'm lowkey laughing like a hyena and I enjoyed this way too much.
> 
> Just so you guys know, the first chapter of Last Chance (Haken) has been uploaded. Check the tags because it might not be a nice story and I really can't promise good, sweet stuff to come since what is a previous plot or idea even?
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter! *throws love your way*


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I told you how much I love you all already? Cause I love you all so much, I love those hilarious comments you left for chapter 30, OMG I've been laughing and crying for an hour. And this well fed comment section needa to be rewarded with a quick update ♥-♥

“ _ Fuck, _ ” he thought but didn't say as he sat on the van and tried to keep his gaze to the front. “ _ Fuuuck _ .”

 

He was paranoid, feeling a heated gaze on his nape that he shouldn't be able to feel, that he  _ wasn't _ feeling. His mind was tricking him and, despite having taken a shower a single hour ago, he felt sweat clinging to his skin once again as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

 

The whole vehicle was crackling with a stifling tension and Leo regretted ever stepping inside. Behind him he could still feel the fathom touch of Ravi's gaze and in front of him he could see the tense shoulders of Ken. He needed to get out.

 

“Will you be alright tonight? You can call me anytime if you need me to drive you back to the dorm.”

 

“Kkomae, we will be okay, don't worry.”

 

“But Hakyeon hyung…”

 

From the corner of his eye Leo caught the sudden tension on Ken's shoulders become almost painful, his neck pulsing hard as he saw him breathe deep. Looking at N, he saw his friend's hand resting on their manager's biceps, unable to see his face but able to sense the reassuring smile he was sending the younger man, the one that worked every time.

 

“We're gonna be alright, promise. You know Jaehwanie doesn't drink much and I will make sure we take a taxi if needed. Go back home, we don't have anything this week, so rest before promotions start and have some quality family time, yeah?”

 

“Okay, hyung. Happy birthday again, Jaehwan. You all, have fun and don't do anything–”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you.”

 

Ken didn't let him say more before starting the car and driving away and, once it was on the streets, Leo knew he didn't have a way out, he was stuck inside this car and on his friend's birthday party. He could only put a smile on and try to enjoy for everyone's sake.

 

***

 

Two hours later found Leo more drunk than he wanted to admit. He hadn't been one to keep his alcohol well and he hadn't eaten much after the recording, so now he sat on the couch of the pub with his legs sprawled in front of him, his head thrown back as he tried to stop the room from spinning.

 

He was so hot, he wanted nothing more than to drink another shot, feel the burning sensation go down his throat and make him forget about the uncomfortable pounding on his head or the unsure thoughts that wouldn't leave him since the recording.

 

He suddenly started giggling, remembering Ravi's and Hongbin's lines on ‘ _ Dynamite _ ’ and the little dance move as they pretended to drink. He had to cover his face as he laughed, not drunk enough not to feel a little embarrassed still at his idiotic behaviour.

 

“That's it, you come with me,” said N as he was gripped by the arm and pushed to his feet. “Need to burn the alcohol from your system before you do something dumb.”

 

N embraced him by the waist so he could walk steadily, his arm coming around the shorter man's shoulders as he let him take him away from the other boys and to the dance floor, a stupid smile playing on his face as he nosed the soft hair on top of his head when they stopped between the sweaty mass.

 

“I'm not even that drunk,” said Leo, and his voice came up clearer than minutes ago.

 

“Just making sure you don't get wasted, you're a little shit when you're dealing with a hungover and don't think we will let you drink more coffee just because you will be nagging us all.”

 

“Fuck you, decaffeinated coffee tastes like dirty water,” said Leo, but started dancing while the alcohol still allowed him some boldness.

 

“As if you know how dirty water tastes like, dumbass,” said N between chuckles as he started moving his hips in rhythm with the music, putting to shame every single awkward move of Leo's and, probably, the whole place’s people’s as well.

 

Leo let his eyes close and focus on the upbeat music that resonated on his chest, moving his body more confidently the more he did it, pretending he was a normal person and ignoring the shy feeling of foreign eyes on him that crept on his chest when he was sober and doing something out of his comfort zone.

 

“Hey, Hakyeon…” asked Leo three songs later.

 

“Hmm?”

 

Leo didn't hear the sound that came out of N's mouth, the music too loud to allow it, but he saw the other man's eyes open and his eyebrows rising slightly as they got closer so they didn't have to shout louder.

 

“Before… Why did you…?”

 

Leo couldn't find the words, his ears and cheeks burning with the blush that spread as his voice died down.

 

“Why did I kiss you?” Asked N, and he nodded. “I just felt like it.”

 

“What the fuck, Hakyeon?”

 

“Relax,” laughed N as he closed his arms around his waist.

 

“You said– You told me you loved Jaehwan. Hakyeon, you–”

 

“You told me you love Wonsik, you  _ know _ you've loved him for a while now, you just couldn't wrap your dense head about the truth. And yet, you were the one to kiss me that night in the club. Even if you knew you loved him, even if you knew he loved you too. Because you wanted to hurt him, didn't you?” His arms tangled on his hair and perched from his shoulder, bringing Leo's head down, closer to N's mouth, so he could talk to him directly to his ear. “You wanted to snap it, wanted to see if something was wrong with you, if you could forget him at all kissing someone you don't love, not the way you love him. You two, fucking morons, have been tiptoeing around each other and your fucking feelings for too long.”

 

“Wonsik doesn't love me.”

 

“How can you…?” Murmured N, too low to catch with the loud music around them. “Yes, he does. He fucking does, Taekwoon, for fuck’s sake. Are you completely blind?” He groaned in exasperation. “He's always looking at you, touching you, praising you, making sure you're comfortable. He calls you ‘ _ his _ hamster’, he chose you for a subunit even if he could have had any other one because all he thought was  _ you _ singing  _ his _ songs.”

 

“I also worry about the others and think about them and… I was free and I could reach his notes…”

 

“And you are the only one with a mouth and hand, the only one horny enough to fuck him and let him fuck you,” he said with a deadpan voice.

 

“That's not–”

 

“Fix this shit.”

 

“How–” He let a whine as he felt the sharp tug on his hair.

 

N had been pulled from his side abruptly and was looking with surprise at Ken, who held him to his side, away from Leo as he approached him, his mouth caressing where previously N’s had, his voice unusually rough.

 

“Whatever you think you're doing is not going to work, hyung,” said Ken with distaste dripping from the last word. “How can you fix this? How about you think about getting the fuck away from other men, letting them touch you all over when you've been told you already have someone that loves you? How about you apologise for being a blind asshole and you actually say the fucking three words you should have been saying for months now? How about you look around every so often to realise that while you were having some fun the man you claim to love was being hurt? How about you look to see him leaving because he can't stand to see you shamelessly flirting with the man he lo–”

 

With a surprised gasp Ken stepped clumsily backwards, N catching him before he fell against a couple dancing close to them.

 

Leo was looking at him in surprise, his words sinking deep until he saw the other man backing away, a look of horror crossing his face. Leo's mouth opened at his words and then closed.

 

“Jae–”

 

“Go after him, fucking helpless airhead.”

 

Leo stayed for a single second more, his eyes finding first N, who seemed worried for them. Had he not…? It wasn't time to worry about it as Ken indicated with a brusque hand gesture to leave.

  
He didn't even wave goodbye to Hongbin or Hyuk. He just headed outside, picking his jacket before leaving and stopped the first taxi that drove by, wasting no time on jumping inside and barking the direction at the man in front of him, promising to pay extra if he could drive him there as quick as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to play with the tags and add "oblivious Leo", "stupid Leo", because ISTG, son, what is wrong with you? I think it's pretty clear even for my own father that Ravi HAS A THING FOR YOU. Is you dumb???
> 
> Anyways, hopefully this ending will lead to the much awaited conversation everyone has been waiting for since, idk, chapter 15 or something. I need Jesus.
> 
> I'm still snorting at some of your comments, both here and on AFFs, they're gold, I swear.I spent a whole hour cracking at them. Best hour of my life.
> 
> I've been writing this for almost 3 hours and had to rewrite something because I MESSED UP SO BAD, like I was pushing the Neo too much on everyone's plate, I swear this is wontaek (and haken), don't get me wrong LOL. It all makes sense when you make everyone jelly jelly :') 
> 
> I can sense the unwritten angst coming for my arse already and I'm afraid of messing next chapter. But I really want to finish before new year, like please, let everyone have a happy scene for once LMFAO.
> 
> Not gonna spoil anything. I hope you all enjoy this mess and, honestly, can't wait for comments to laugh some more LOL.
> 
> It's 7am here so there it goes!!! (Hopefully I will go to SLEEP)


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To answer the questions on the "not an update" that got deleted:
> 
>  
> 
> **AkumaNoKami**
> 
> gurl, I know, I feel you and I'm the author. I question myself everyday. This chapter will prove only that it seems like there's no good ever coming for those two :')
> 
>  
> 
> **KTsukiChan**
> 
> I'm sorry I raised your hopes thinking it was an update, I wish I could have updated soon. It's already up on AFF!! Yes ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> To the rest of you who still stick together with me and this story, thank you so so much from the very bottom of my heart, it means everything to me to have you all around leaving those extra comments. It always manage to make me smile and they give me strength to keep writing more and more only so you all get more of Wontaek ♥.
> 
>  
> 
> Literally not proofread at all so I'm really sorry for any weird stuff that might pop up around, I can't English properly lately
> 
> __________________________________

When the taxi parked in front of the building Leo didn't check the amount he threw at the driver, he simply closed the vehicle's door and rushed to the front doors, disappearing behind them in seconds. He called the elevator while tapping his foot on the floor. Pressed and pressed impatiently as the slow machine reached the floor and pressed repeatedly the button to close the doors once he was inside.

 

The drive to the top floor felt agonisingly slow and he groaned in relief when he reached it and the doors finally slid open in front of him. In his haste, he dropped the keys and forgot the password, making him curse under his voice as he fumbled with the lock, which finally gave, the door opening to reveal a dark and quiet dorm.

 

Dread crawled up his spine as he took every step towards the second floor, brushing his sweaty palms against his jeans, his heart threatening to leave his chest.

 

“Wonsik,” he tried calling but his voice broke midway. “Wonsik,” he tried again, firmer.

 

But no one answered him. Suddenly, all his fears came back. What if the others were wrong and Ravi didn't care about it anymore? What if he had completely given up on him after all?

 

Almost hyperventilating and blind on his desperation, Leo barged into Ravi's room only to find the place just as dark as the rest of the house. He couldn't explain the feeling on his chest but, whatever was happening inside of him, he didn't want it to stay.

 

He was about to turn back and go to his room to lay on his bed for as long as possible when he saw from the corner of the eye the thinnest line of light coming through the adjacent door on Ravi's room, the one that lead to the studio.

 

With his heart thrumming harder than he ever thought possible, he opened the door to the studio. There was a dim purplish light on on the inside, Ravi's silhouette hunched over the piano tiles, one hand on the computer's mouse and the other buried midway in his hairline.

 

“Wonsik,” he called in the softest voice.

 

Ravi winced at the sound of his voice, his back tensing at the proximity of the voice. Leo was at a loss for words, took a step forward only to hesitate and stop mere meters from the other boy.

 

“Wonsik, I–” tried Leo again.

 

His voice drifted on the room and died. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, his words were worthless now, a simple apologise wouldn't put back in place all the misunderstandings and mistakes they both made. That Leo had made.

 

“I really don't wanna talk now, hyung,” surprised him Ravi's muffled voice.

 

He saw the younger boy sniff and rub his eyes, sitting straight and putting the headphones on to keep working on the sweet melody he had heard.

 

Leo was weak to tears, Leo was weak to anything that upset his members and he was hurting from the mere state Ravi was in, all thrown over the place, puffy face and eyes. He had to see Ravi shine the way he always loved, the way that made him feel like he could smile in front of camera and act carefree because it would bring a smile on the other boy's face. He needed Ravi to be happy.

 

“I fucked up,” blurted, voice low.

 

Leo wasn't one to curse, opting to do it only when the kids were misbehaving, while extremely stressed or when he managed to hit the leg of the table with his little toe. Everyone knew in the dorm not to mess with Leo if he pronounced any of those words.

 

Ravi still didn't turn but he had tensed further, clearly having heard the curse.

 

“I completely fucked up. I was scared, Wonsik. I'm still scared.”

 

Ravi finally turned on the chair, eyes bright with tears looking up at him coldly, removing the useless headphones.

 

“Yes. Yes, you did.” He got up, facing the older from barely three steps away. “You could have told me about it, you could have–” his voice broke as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

“I'm sorry. Shit, I'm so sorry, Wonsik,” he said aghast as he tried to take a step forward.

 

“No!” Ravi's scream stopped him cold in place. “Don't come any closer. I don't want to deal with this now, I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to see you for a while, so just leave. Leave, Taekwoon.”

 

Leo froze in place looking at the red eyes and plush bitten lips of the other as he tried to ignore him, tried to stay strong in front of him.

 

The only thing that crossed his mind was “ _fuck it_ ”, before he launched himself forward and inelegantly pressed their lips together.

 

Ravi's mouth tasted salty from the tears but, oh, so sweet, warm and familiar. Leo wanted the taste to last forever against his mouth, to slowly devour those lips.

 

“Taek– Wh–?” Tried to ask Ravi before their lips collided again.

 

This time Leo was having none of it. He wanted that mouth, wanted it to soften, to open to him, to let him lick inside and to caress his tongue until Ravi panted into his mouth, he wanted to wreck the man, he wanted tonight to never end.

 

He pushed Ravi, whose legs had lost most of the strength, towards the side table. The completely useless piece of furniture that Ravi never removed. The same place where months ago the younger had pushed him and kissed him like he now was.

 

He caressed the tan neck and slid his hand into the buzz on the sides. Fuck, he loved Ravi on undercuts, he would lick behind his ear and his scalp, enjoying the raspy new hair hurting his tongue. Or maybe the hair would still be soft. He didn't realise he was moaning until Ravi bit his tongue.

 

There were too many clothes, too many layers between them, he had to touch the man and he had to do it now. Without a second thought he ripped open Ravi's shirt and pushed it down his shoulders before the other had time to protest. He groaned when he had to separate their mouths to push the T-shirt over his head, his own following soon, but it was worth it when their naked chests pushed together, hot and beating hard, some sweat already sticking them together. Leo couldn't even feel grossed out by it as he sank hard on his knees.

 

He didn't go for the zipper, instead he rubbed his cheek all over the front of the jeans, he nosed his way up and down, inhaling the delicious aroma of detergent, arousal and Ravi. He waited for Ravi's eyes to focus on him before mouthing him through the denim, pupils blown so wide he wondered if he could see, hands possessively holding the hips to prevent them from trusting against his face.

 

Ravi was his tonight and he would dictate how far he would let him go.

 

When he finally opened the jeans and freed him, pushing the wet head past his pouty lips, he heard them both moan, Ravi's hands quickly falling on his head, petting it like he used to previously.

 

Leo wasn't the best at giving head, he was an actual mess, but he did his best without gagging on it. He groaned and moaned in rhythm with the touches on his scalp, sending jolts down Ravi's spine.

 

Leo couldn't care about the finesse, spit and precum slipping down the corners of his mouth, mouth leaving him for a second at a particular sharp tug on his hair. He felt like purring until he saw the tears back on Ravi's face.

 

Not the tears again. He couldn't handle them.

 

So he went deeper and sucked harder and caressed between his legs until he heard wet gasps, but the tears weren't stopping, one of them fell right under Leo's eye, where he knew his mole was, and traveled down to the corners until it mixed with the mess on his mouth.

 

“I can't do this,” said Ravi, and Leo's heart missed a beat.

 

He had the decency of letting go of the other man’s still hard cock and look at him from where he was. There was a smile on Ravi’s face, but it was bitter, and his eyes could barely open and focus from all the tears.

 

“I can't apologise to you,” choked out Leo, whose voice sounded weird after the previous activities. “An apology won't be enough, so let me show you. Please Wonsik, let me.”

 

Ravi couldn't back away from him, he was cornered. He looked up and back down to Leo. He shook his head and there, on the smallest corner of his mouth, Leo saw disgust.

 

“I don't need your apologies. I've never needed an apology from a whore.”

 

The stab on Leo's chest felt real, too physical to be simple words.

 

“Wonsik–”

 

“Although I could have used a warning, a warning that it was all for fun, so I didn't have to fall any fucking deeper.”

  
Ravi tucked himself back into the jeans and boxes and turned around to leave the studio. Leo was still on his knees, he was trying to catch his breath, he was trying not to faint. When had breathing become such a difficult task?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually wouldn't give personal explanations like those but I think you all deserve to know the reason why I've been procrastinating the writing process (along with reading the gorgeous stories my beautiful girls have tried to show me but that have been added to a list for the future).
> 
> I'm diagnosed with severe depression. For some of you who might have been or still are going through this process, or have seen it close or are living close to it, I send you all my remaining strength because it's hard. Thankfully I have a good father and a warm Kitty that hug me when I'm feeling down, I have my teddy bear, my chocolate and my tea and I don't hesitate to use them for comfort. The new pills I've been given by the doctor really make me sleepy, not like I needed an excuse to be in bed anyways. The holidays were a really tough time for me, I clustered and ignored everything, but I can't always avoid everything. I'm gonna stay strong AF and gonna fix this mess and give it an ending even if it takes me long, that's a promise to all of you. I know I've said this and I wonder if you guys really feel it, but I really appreciate and love every single one that reads, likes, comments or simply lurks around. You all are precious human beings for being so patient with my ass.
> 
> I will try my best to bring a new update as soon as possible. Or at least withing a month.
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy all the fancams our gorgeous Starlight took of the Eclipse concert, all the pics, Cha's Cactus project, Ken's musical, Ravi's Nirvana (with my Queen Jimin) and our both cute and evil maknae boys~
> 
>  
> 
> (Psss I smell a comeback for early spring, don't you?)


End file.
